Harry Styles Imagines

Journal Entry #998

It was time for you to move on with your life.  You've been in love with the man of your dreams since the beginning of your junior year.  You knew the moment you laid eyes on him that it wasn't going to be good.  He was in your math class, and the best basketball player in school.  Though he didn't quite fit the role of your typical high school jock.

Yeah he was the captain of the basketball team, had the perfect girlfriend, and was friends with almost everyone in school but there was something about him.  Something that you could see that no one else couldn't.  He wasn't happy no matter how many times he told you his was. 

You could see right through him.  He was so easy to read but you wanted to know his deepest and darkest thoughts.  You wanted to explore his world and get to really know him.  So when him and his girlfriend broke up, you went for the bait. 

Now you're laying in bed, eating ice cream and writing in my journal.  You had two separate journals: one for your own thoughts and one to write down every single thing you would never tell him in person - Harry Styles that is. 

You had just graduated college and were on your way to New York City in the next few days.  It seemed as if you and Harry never progressed through the years.  You knew he didn't love you like you did for him.  It hurt, a lot, but you knew that you couldn't let it consume your life.  Though it already had.  You switched journals so now you were on his. 

You grabbed the red pen, since that was his favorite color, and began writing. 

I leave in a few days so this will be one of few last times I write to you.  You don't want me to leave but I have to.  You've taken over my life and it's time to start new. 

I'm tired of crying over you almost every night.  You hold my entire life in your hands and you have no idea.  Piece by piece a small bit of my life falls and breaks because you don't realize.

Not only do you hold my life but you've stolen my heart and I don't want it back.  It's tainted and useless to me now.  I let you ruin it though.  I did nothing to stop you.  It's my fault. 

I still remember the first time we really talked.  We were both walking to the same class and I called for you.  You turned around with that glowing smile plastered on your face.  But it was missing something and I couldn't put my finger on it at the time.  I joked with you and said, "I figured you would walk with me, I understand though."

You responded with, "Sorry, you're Valerie's best friend right?"

"I am, you two are like related now?  Because of Josey?"

"Yeah, since my brother and her sister had Josey we think of each other as family now." 

"I remember you from middle school.  We only talked like once which was in Dollar Tree."

"I remember... (y/n)?"

"That's my name, Harry?"

"Looks like we're here.  I'll sit next to you today."

"Okay,"

That was probably one of the best days of my life.  Little did I know you'd make such an impact on my life.  I don't regret it though.  You've become someone that I crave to socialize with.  But it's time that it comes to an end. 

You stop writing when you feel your phone vibrate.  You look down to see his name pop up on the screen. 

Harold:  I don't want you to leave.  You'll be hours away.

Me:  I need to.  It's best if I do, just trust me. 

Harold:  But I need you.  (Y/m/n), please.

Me:  You'll understand why soon enough.  I'm going to go to bed.  Remember if you can't sleep, you can always call.  I'm available at any time. 

Harold:  I know and thank you.  Goodnight and sweet dreams (y/m/n). 

Me:  Sweet dreams, Harold, and goodnight. 

Harry never called you by your first name once he found out your middle name.  Since then, you've never called him Harry either but Harold instead. 

You placed the pen on the nightstand and turned off the lamp.  Tonight, was going to be another sleepless night.  But you couldn't keep talking to Harry or you knew he would convince you somehow to stay here.  It wouldn't take much considering he's the man you love.  You just want control again and you feel like once it's back, your life will be okay again. 

* * * *

You woke up to your phone constantly vibrating.  When you checked it, it was 7 new messages from Harry. 

Harold:  Don't go.

Harold:  I'll beg everyday if it means you don't leave.

Harold:  I'll do anything for you.

Harold:  I won't last without you.

Harold:  I'd never leave you. 

Harold:  I'll come over everyday with chocolate ice cream and we can watch reruns of Criminal Minds and Teen Wolf.  I know how much you like those shows. 

Harold:  I also know how much you love me...

Your breath hitched as you read the last message.  You didn't know what to say to him - how to respond to a message like that.  You couldn't tell him that he was right.  You'd never let yourself do that. 

The phone began buzzing and you saw his name pop on the phone.  This time he was calling.

Instead, you declined and set it aside.  It was time to move on from him.  To do that, you had to cut off all communication from him.  You grabbed the pen and began writing again, leaving where you left off. 

Just remember... you mean the absolute world to me.  You are hands down the best thing that has ever happened to me.  But it's time that we part ways and meet new people.  It's time that I meet new people. 

Harry Styles, never forget about me.

Sincerely, (y/f/n) (y/m/n) (y/l/n).