Iwaoi | Damaged

Chapter seven: "Departure"

He ran two consecutive miles and took a cab from there on. Those years of volleyball workouts had served him good. He breathed heavily as he settled in the leather seat. Iwaizumi laid his head on the cool glass and loosened the drawstring around his neck.
He slumped. Bringing his hand to his face he contemplated over whether or not he would be allowed to see him.
Had he given the nurses requests to keep him away? Was he in any position to oppose?

He regained his breath and eyed everything in sight as he inched closer to the hospital. At the entrance he handed the driver a fifty, who called after Iwaizumi for his change.

He ran in pass the security and there in the emergency lobby Tara waited. Her legs were trembling. Her knuckles clenched until they were the palest of white. Her bottom lip quivered as she spoke. "You should go see him."
She sniffled and covered her face with her hand. He walked towards her, patted her on the back, and went down a corridor north of the lobby. INTENSIVE CARE UNIT, was written on a high board above his head.
A man stood there at a podium with a clip board. He was a desk worker who appeared to have the duties of security.
"I-I'm here to see some-." His voice broke. He blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling.
The man held up a hand. Within it was a mint green slip issuing him permission to go beyond the desk.
His legs felt like lead. He couldn't think straight. Beyond his involuntary movements he couldn't do much of anything. He gazed down at the lapsed which had a large three on it. It must be the room number.

He balled the paper in his perspired hand and proceeded to the third stall. The surrounding area was dark. Like one of those horror movies centred around a hospital. A bright red three flashed above the long draperies. There was a set of heavy metal doors that were widely opened against the wall. He gulped roughly and continued through them.

Iwaizumi held his breath an pulled back the thick Ivory curtains.

Oikawa laid with his eyes closed on the hospital bed. Its sheets were in disarray, as if something had happened moments before. His right arm hung limp off the side. The other splayed upon his chest. His skin was pale in contrast to the olive complexion he once had. His hair was sweated and matted against his forehead. A breathing tube was inserted in his trachea from the Ventilator.
It beeped and clicked, matching the stride of his gait.

He sat beside him at the side of bed. Azure lingered in a way that could've been physically noticeable. He attentively latched onto Oikawa's hand. It was rather cold and as stif as a board.

Iwaizumi brought His hand to his lips as tears streaked down the corners of his eyes. He dropped his head and held Oikawa's hand closer to his face.
"I'm sorry," he sobbed inaudibly.
"I'm so sorry Oikawa." He clasped his hand tighter and began to sob louder, almost hysterically.
He feebly squeezed his hand. He didn't open his eyes or move his lips. All he did was a succession of squeezes at Iwaizumi's hand. He reached over and brushed the hair out of Oikawa's face to plant a kiss on his forehead.

Moments after Tara crept into the room. Her face was crimson and puffy. Her mascara was streaked down her cheeks from her eyes. She clutched wearily at her grey blazer. Her voice was minimal, a whisper.

"The doctors asked if you could step out for a moment."

Iwaizumi didn't look back at her. Hie eyes fixed on Oikawa in his current state. She stayed at the curtain until he stood up.

"Hajime, I know it's hard..." He turned to her. His glare cold and distant As he stormed out of the room. He waited near the door two stalls down from Oikawa's room.

Tara followed in suit. Walking at a leisure pace. Her heels clacked consecutively against the tile.
"They're thinking about pulling the plug. He's in really bad shape and they can't get ahold of his relatives.Your probably going to have to decide-."
"No." He sternly growled.
She jumped, surprised at his hostility.

Who was he to weigh Oikawa's option of life or death? He wasn't God. He backed against the wall and slid to the floor.a female doctor and male nurse emerged from the main wing of the hospital towards the third stall. She carried a large clip board and a semi-thick beige file, the one Iwaizumi had seen before. Now it was much thinner.

"Are you signing off on the body in stall three? We already have identification."

His blood boiled at her statement.

He isn't dead.

"You should wait in the lobby." The nurse suggested. "Unless you'd like to be in the room when he's taken off."

Tara joined in aggressively. "What!? We haven't consented yet!"
"The nurse removed the stethoscope from the depth of his side pocket and put it around his neck.

"His parents called not to long ago. They said it was alright. They're coming to file coroner papers soon."
Iwaizumi was flabbergasted. The once loving and ideal parents Oikawa had once had, seemed to be no more. The generosity and genuine love that they had for him. What was that?
How could they do such a thing?

The nurse and doctor eased pass Iwaizumi and Tara both of whom stood in their tracks, shocked at what they'd heard.

"Wait!" Iwaizumi yelled after them. His voice bounced off the walls. The nurse leaned out of the room through the curtains to hear him speak. "C-Could we see him, please." He clutched at the necklace, his hand moved with involuntary tremors.
The nurse smiled pitifully and trashed the heavy curtains open.
Tara caught up to him before he entered the room. She placed a hand gently on his shoulder.
"I don't have to see him. You take all the time you need."
With this she shoved her hands in her pockets and backed away from the room. Iwaizumi knew well, it wasn't that she felt strong enough to not see him, she wasn't strong enough to see him in his last moments.

He nodded and gave a pathetic smile. That fake smile he would always question Oikawa about. That smile that provoked his guilt. The image was still fresh in his mind. An image of Oikawa he wish he hadn't seen.
Just like this one.

The room was still and quiet. There was no longer the beeping of the ventilator, or the clicking of the heart rate monitor. The room was empty. Not of body, but of spirit. He was gone. They'd pulled the plug before Iwaizumi even stepped foot into the room.

He wished he could've seen his eyes light up. He wish he could have heard him laugh or call his nickname one more time. He wish he could feel his warmth again. The tone of his voice.
But he was gone. All of it was gone.
A space was left in Iwaizumi's heart that no one would ever fill.

He grabbed his hand and hunched over crying into Oikawa's chest. The thumping that he'd use to fall asleep to no longer thumped. The rise and fall of his chest, had left his body. He wanted to scream and yell at the top of his lungs in anguish.
But what would that do?
It couldn't bring him back.
He had the chance to do things right and he messed that up.
Iwaizumi rubbed the back of his hand against his cheek and intertwined his hand in his. Tears from his face wiped away on Oikawa's palm. His skin was ice cold now. His hand no longer grasped Iwaizumi's. His lips were distorted, pale, horrid shade of purple. Dark lines began to form under the creases of his eyelids.
Iwaizumi spoke. He spoke things he should have told him months before. But knowing he couldn't hear them set him a bit at ease.
Because if he heard, he'd have worried. That was the last thing he wanted.

Iwaizumi weeped uncontrollably.

"I hope you weren't mad at me in the end. I'm sorry that I made you worry. I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry you loved an idiot like me...I love you."

A peak of sunlight polared through the window at this instant. Shining for only a second before vanishing.
It was ultimately his imagination, but he also saw Oikawa smile.

He's probably in that meadow, he thought. He thought of how he'd vividly described it. The most beautiful hell he'd ever know. As horrible or magnificent as it may have seemed Iwaizumi too, hoped that they would meet again, there, someday.

Under that Cherry tree.