Notes:
The following situations and characters are a work of fiction. Any similarities between real or actual events or people is purely coincidental and are in no way intended to offend or appropriate the subjects they have adapted to these particular circumstances.
Readers may encounter some ideologically sensitive material such as homophobia, depression, drug use, alcoholism, PTSD, warfare, violence, and terminal illness
Chapter Text
"We. We together. One being.
Flow together like water.
Till I can't tell you from me. I drink you. Now. Now"
- The Thin Red Line
April, 1965
-
Cas held his drink high as he navigated the crowd. It was as if the room were made of nothing but elbows as people pushed past him and into him, the threat of beer being sloshed onto his clothes an all too real danger. He jostled past Anna Milton, all long red hair and even longer legs, and she smiled at him, stopping a moment on her way to the back of the house
"Killer party, huh?" she said over the dull drone of people talking and the music flooding from the dining room. Cas nodded, grinning a little, using the back of his hand to push his glasses back into place. She giggled and touched the white collar of his shirt, kissing him on the cheek.
"It's so good to see you out of the library. Finals are torture!" she laughed and Cas shrugged, pulling his drink down to chest level now that he wasn't moving so much.
"Tell me about it."
"You think you did ok?" she said, stepping closer, and he could smell her perfume and the powder she had used on her neck. It stood out on her white skin as a delicate film from the heat of the party and all the bodies packed into the tiny Sorority house; he was tempted to wipe away a smudge that hadn't blended correctly out of some absent desire to fix it.
"I did as well as I could. You?" he answered, watching her roll her eyes to the ceiling, moving one shoulder casually.
"Same, I guess!" she suddenly smiled, pushing him slightly, "Don't be so modest! We all know you aced!"
Castiel could feel the blush creeping up and coloring his ears, but he continued to shrug the compliment off.
"Well, enough talk about school. I'm glad you're having a good time," she tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear, "there's lots of girls here, you know," she pushed him again with her hand and Cas laughed nervously.
"Yeah," he trailed, looking around. She was right. There were plenty of girls.
"Here," she stepped forward and straightened his collar and his tie a little, smoothing her hands over his shoulders, "and remember to smile! You could get lucky tonight!"
"I doubt it," Castiel coughed, and she let her hands swing back down by her sides. She gave him a long look and smiled.
"I don't know," she sing-songed, "Come on, for you it'll be like shooting fish in a barrel!"
Castiel scoffed, taking a sip of his beer while she laughed at him. Finishing his swallow, he was just opening his mouth to say something else when there was a displaced roar from the front of the house.Several people turned to look, some fidgeting nervously.
An engine gunned and from the archway to the foyer, Castiel could see a bright beam of yellow light spearing through the front window.
"Cops?" someone said, a girl, her voice nervous. A friend shushed her and everyone was quiet, the music pouring out of the dining room seeming louder than ever in the gathered silence. A group of guys moved to the window, and though he could barely see over them he craned his neck to watch as they crowded around it, their hands on the glass.
"Who the hell invited him?" one of them said, pulling back from the pane to glare behind himat the party goers. Cas frowned and the engine cut off, the light going with it. "He parked right on the lawn!"
Cas' eyes widened and his mouth fell open. Parked on the lawn? So that was the light he had seen. He felt his pulse quicken - whoever it was, they had guts parking on the Delta lawn in the middle of the night, especially when they were apparently not welcome.
"I can't believe she did it," Anna said, and Cas turned to see her shaking her head, sighing as she crossed her arms over her chest. She looked at Cas and raised her eyebrows. "If you heard it from me, I told her not to tell him about tonight. It's going to be nothing but trouble."
"Who?" Cas asked, looking back to what little he could see of the foyer.
"You'll see," Anna laughed, and when Cas turned to continue speaking to her, she was already half way across the room, slipping away into the kitchen. Cas blew a breath out of his mouth and then glanced back at the foyer, still curious. Two girls had replaced the boys at the window, and were whispering to each other as he approached. He stared over their heads, but it was too dark to see from his distance what they were looking at.
"Did you see him?"
"Martha, don't look!"
"Oh, I can't help it! He's so bad! Would you look at that bike?"
"Can you even believe it? He and Lisa?"
They giggled into their hands, attempting tokeep their breath from fogging up the glass, and one of them began tugging on their skirts a little in anxiety.
Cas' brow furrowed and he tried to look past one of their heads to understand, but he could only manage to make out was a shadowy group of people in front of what must have been the motorcycle they were referring to. It was too dark to tell the model, but the group was really two - four Fraternity brothers that Castiel knew from school and one individual a little taller than them, his back angled towards Cas. Castiel blinked and then rolled his eyes as the girls squealed.
"Do you think they'll fight? Rich looks like he's just spoiling for one!"
"Beth, don't talk like that! If there's a fight someone will call the police for sure!"
Cas snorted at the conversation and turned away, trying to remember if he would end up in the dining room if he went past the staircase on his left.Someone had changed the album and now The Beatles was filtering through the house. Abandoning the otherwise uninteresting stranger, Castiel made his way past the stairs, itching to dance. He bounced a little on his toes and hummed to the beat as he turned a corner - and excellent. The front parlor had been transformed into a makeshift dance floor, the sofas pushed to another room (one was even outside) to make space for the people already jammed inside, rocking with the music.
In the sea of people he could see Hester laughing and bobbing her head as a boy whispered something in her ear. She was looking in Cas' direction though, and he waved and she grinned, lifting her hand to beckon him over. He looked around for a place to set his drink and settled for the mantle already littered with bottles, and then hurried to her, pardoning himself as he knocked against the dancing people who were too engrossed in the music, or their partners, to care much.
"Cas!" Hester said, tugging his arm, coaxing him into a twist. He followed her example and soon the two of them were dancing, working into the groove of the group.
"Oh my gosh, so have you heard?" Hester said suddenly in an interlude, pressing herself close to him. Cas bent his ear instinctively to her, still moving his feet and she repeated herself, louder. "Did you hear?! About who came?"
Cas pulled back and rolled his eyes again, shoving his glasses back up his nose. He really needed to get the frames adjusted...
"I heard. Who is it?" he asked and Hester gaped at him, her arms swinging in time with the music.
"You mean you don't know?"
"Well, I mean, I guess it's someone Lisa knows?" he continued, barking a laugh, and Hester shook her shoulders in rhythm, even as she gave Cas the most incredulous look he'd ever seen. He frowned, annoyed.
"You just finished your first year and you don't even know who Dean Winchester is! Honestly!" She huffed, "I mean, he's only the top racer in the county - and the cutest repeat offender in the city. I think it's true he's got a record, but a lot of people think it's just rumors.!"
Cas laughed at her, his curiosity piqued.
"So what about him?" he teased, twisting again. Hester bent closer.
"Well, you know, Lisa and him were togetherin high school! There's all this scandal about it because he's so bad and she's a Delta girl, you know?"
"Anna said she told her not to invite him!" Cas added. "I did know that much!"
Hester nodded enthusiastically.
"I'd believe it! A boy like Dean at a Delta party? That's asking for trouble!"
"He parked on the lawn."
"He did not!" she shrieked, blushing, "Oh, gosh, he's just so bad, don't you think? Did Rich fight him? He said he would if he showed - those two hate each other...wait, did you see it? His bike?"
She grabbed his arm and Cas smiled at her, shrugging.
"Maybe?"
"Did you? Cas, did you?"
"It was too dark," he admitted and Hester let his arm go with a disapproving noise.
"You awful tease! That bike has won him so much money - he's going to be state champ this year, I just know it. We'll read about him in all the papers and then he'll win the big cup and take some lucky gal."
"You hoping it's you?" Cas prodded, stepping closer to her to get out of someone's way. She tossed her head.
"Not on my life! He's beautiful, but he goes through girls like seasons! Well, and all those rumors! Not on my life!"
"What rumors?" he stepped back again even though Hester held tight on his arm.
"You mean you haven't heard? Where have you been?" She laughed, getting nearer to Cas, her movements slowing so she could get a better look at his face. "You really haven't heard?"
Castiel shook his head and Hester tugged at his arm, dragging him through the waves of people and out, placing them near the stairwell where it was less crowded. She motioned for him to get closer, and he did so, ducking his head so that he could hear her more clearly.
"Apparently he's been raising his little brother since he was a kid himself, and his dad was a deadbeat or something like that."
Cas frowned and pulled away, holding his drink at his chest.
"That's awful."
"That's what I heard, and people say it's a rumor, but I think it's actually true."
"Well, if it's true, that doesn't really make it a rumor, does it?"
Cas didn't say anything, placing his drink on one of the steps behind Hester instead. She picked up a cup beside it and held it up to her nose, sniffing and making a face as she put it back. She coaxed him down to her level again and he followed, moving slightly closer.
"I also heard the reason why he and Lisa broke up was because he's a homosexual," she whispered it right in his ear, and Cas jerked his head back, his eyes wide behind his glasses. She shrugged again. "Only rumors again, Cas! Could go either way!"
Castiel pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose with his finger. Hester smiled and laughed at him and grabbed him by the wrist to drag him back into the mob of people before stopping near the kitchen.
"Wait right here-I want to get something to drink and then we can dance some more, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," Cas smiled and leaned against the wall, watching the bodies in front of him move along with the music. A few minutes later Hester came barreling out of the kitchen, grabbing Cas by the arm again, surprising him and causing him to jump.
"Oh my God, Cas! I love this song!" she exclaimed, "Don't you just love The Beatles?" she moved her body and bobbed her head, holding Cas' wrist in her hand as he moved with her.
"Yeah, they're great!" he grinned, and Hester grinned back.
"We should go see them one day, huh? Maybe they'll play around here and we can go see them together!"
"That would be cool, but-"
"But you'd rather see Elvis. I know, I know. Jeez, Cas, who are you? My mother?"
"Hey, without him your precious Lennon would never have gotten over here,"
"Don't be so bitter! Elvis is fine... if you're ancient!"
Castiel rolled his eyes and moved along with Hester, bobbing his head, and Hester wouldn't stop grinning, but then Cas' attention was drawn elsewhere when he saw someone walk out of the kitchen. Hester stopped when she noticed that Castiel wasn't dancing anymore, and she followed his eyes.
"That's him," she spoke low and jabbed Cas with her elbow, and he snapped his attention to her.
"Who?"
"Dean Winchester. Oh my God, isn't he just so handsome?"
Castiel watched as Dean walked through the crowded room, right past them, and he could feel the brush of his leather jacket against his arm, and it sent a sort of chill through his body. Dean continued walking without looking back, and he rounded a corner and disappeared.
"Hey!" Hester waved her hand in front of his face and he jumped back, bumping into someone behind forcing him to apologize quickly before turning back to face Hester. "Hey, are you okay? You sort of drifted off there for a moment."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," he said, pausing for a moment, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "He looked angry."
"Rich probably tried to fight him, but he was probably asking for it. I heard he likes to start things, you know?" She shrugged and tugged at Cas' sleeve, pouting. "C'mon, let's keep dancing; this is the only thing keeping me from going insane here."
Cas stared at the spot where Dean had turned for a moment longer before nodding and letting his body start to reacclimatize acclimate to to the music, his attention back to Hester. "Yeah, okay." He smiled and Hester swayed in front of him, moving her arms at her sides, and he matched her motions, keeping beat with the song.
It didn't take very long before he had lost himself in the music and the drifting movements of the other people around them. He smiled at Hester and she bit her lip coyly, sneaking his hands to her waist. Cas stalled for a moment when his palms brushed over her dress, his throat growing a little thick. His fingers twitched and he settled them on her body, her own arms coming up over his shoulders. He took a breath and tried to look over her shoulder even as she tried to peer right in his eyes. He knew how Hester felt about him. She was constantly trying to get him interested, and it wasn't her fault. It really wasn't.
Cas wished, with every part of him, that he could reciprocate. He stiffened and kept rocking with her, trying his best to be at ease, but he felt so suddenly clumsy, and even though he didn't trip or anything, he felt supremely out of sync. It was maddening to be so offbeat, and yet he had to keep dancing anyway, regardless of how he felt.
It wasn't even like he could explain himself -the reason Hester was barking up the completely wrong tree. He wanted to just stop her as she experimentally slid her hand over his neck, but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything about it because he was a boy and she was a beautiful girl and it was a Delta party and even if he knew the reason he sure as hell couldn't show it.
Hester tilted her head shyly at him and he smiled, and he hoped the pity he felt for her wasn't too obvious. She was one of the best friends he had, and he was desperate not to lose her. Things at school had been going so well. So much better than he'd ever anticipated and he would do anything not to ruin it like he had at home. He must have frowned because Hester suddenly looked concerned, blinking at him, his gaze zeroing in on her cat-eye liner. She had been poring over magazines for hours, probably, just to look as good for him as possible and it made his stomach drop.
"Something wrong?" she said loud enough for him to hear.
"Oh, no, just thinking," he answered quickly and she giggled, playing with his sweater.
"You know, you can tell me what's wrong..." she continued
No,I really can't, Cas thought desperately, but he just laughed a little, pushing away from her as the record transitioned into a faster song, one that didn't require any intimate touching.
"I know," he replied instead, Hester giggling nervously, fiddling with the ends of her hair. She was smoothing it down as she let her eyes drift over the room and she grabbed Cas' arm, her face suddenly scarlet.
"He's staring right at us," she squeaked, looking up at Cas.
Cas furrowed his brow. "Who?"
"Dean," she stressed, glancing around Cas' body again. "Right at us I can't even believe it - oh gosh, here quick, switch with me," she babbled, twisting and shoving Cas so that he was standing where she had been previously. He stared at her face, voice incredulous.
"Hester, I hardly think he's looking right at us," he began, but she wasn't listening, her face bright red. She peered up at Cas, starting to turn her head over her shoulder, but stopping herself.
"Is he still looking? He was looking right at me, it was horrible!"
"Horrible? Hester, really..." Cas teased, and he finally lifted his eyes.
"Is he?"
Cas sort of moved his head towards the sound of her voice, but only out of reflex. He couldn't have done much more.
It was frightening; slightly horrible, just like Hester had said, but not entirely. No. It couldn't have been all horrible because, while he felt trapped, he didn't want to run. He didn't want it to stop. His heart hammered and he immediately felt his palms start to get clammy as he held his breath. Dean Winchester held his stare and wouldn't let it go. Just watching him from the back wall of the room, his one hand fiddling with a bottle cap, the other holding a beer, and Cas finally remembered to inhale, and he smiled.
Small.
Cas' lips felt uncomfortably dry, and he was just about to dart his tongue out to soothe them when Dean finally broke the contact, his eyes flitting to Hester and then right back to Cas with no time for any sort of recovery.
"Cas?"
Cas opened his mouth to say something, and he could feel Hester digging her nails into his sweater, but it was like he was experiencing it from very far away. Dean raised the beer to his mouth and took a pull from it before lowering it and giving Cas a deeper smile, the corners of his mouth digging into his cheeks. Cas' fingers twitched and Dean stepped forward from the wall.
Cas immediately feared that he was going to come straight for him, but Dean walked around to the other side of the room instead. Cas followed every step, still reeling, waiting for the young man to stop and turn around and - Cas' imagination didn't get any farther than that.
"When did Lisa come in here?" Hester whispered, and Cas found reality piling down on him as he was thrust back into the moment. Lisa...he saw where Dean stood now and there she was, in her yellow party dress, her dark hair laying perfectly on her perfect shoulders, and Dean was leaning his arm over her on the wall, smiling down at her bright face.
Cas blinked at the sight of Dean grinning at her. She laughed, moving to half cover her red lips with her hand, and whispered something into Dean's ear before catching Cas' eye and holding it for a moment. He watched Dean shift backwards and look over his shoulder. He winked.
Cas' whole face ignited and Hester scoffed.
"He winked at me," she breathed, scandalized, and Cas shook his head briefly trying to clear his thoughts, but his brain was too cloudy in the loud room with so many people.
"You're flushed red, Cas, are you too hot?" Hester asked, and Cas pushed her hand gently before she could start her worried touching.
"Yeah," he rasped, willing himself not to look at Dean again. "Yeah." He coughed, lightly into his hand.
"I think I'm going to go," he mumbled, and Hester put her arm back by her side, confused.
"Cas, really? It's only 11 o'clock."
"Oh, really?" He felt dazed, already trying to wade through the crowd, Hester following him.
"Cas, who's going to walk me home?" she called, trying to catch up with him, stopping at the door to the house, hand on the doorframe.
"Sorry Hester, I'm not feeling well," he muttered, and she sagged.
"Cas, you know, that's not fair. You said you'd walk me home! Something's all funny about this!"
"It's just stress!" He insisted, standing on the front walk, her suspicion of him too much of a worry to leave hanging. "Finals. Really, Hester. You know how hard I was working...I guess it just sort of hit me."
Hester stared at him for a long moment and seamed her lips together.
"Get some rest then," she said blandly after a moment and Cas smiled half-heartedly, glad to hear she was simply unimpressed with him and not accusing him of anything. "I'll tell Anna you left. I'll just stay here for the night."
"That's a good idea," Cas finished. He waited for her to go inside after a brief goodnight kiss on her cheek that had her blushing too hard for him to be comfortable, and then he started up the walk again. He paused for a moment, looking at the bike still parked on the lawn. He took a sharp breath, eyes roaming on the handles and the seat, and then began the long trek to his apartment off campus. He hated the commute, and his apartment wasn't so much an apartment as a hole in a leaking wall, but it was better than being at the mercy of the guys in the dorms. He'd had enough of being teased as a kid, and he wasn't about to make his ventures into adult life as bad as elementary school if he had anything to say about it.
Besides, he liked the privacy. No one to stare at him, to try and figure anything out. Just him and the endless studying he did to keep his dreams of being a doctor alive.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to think of something other than Dean's eyes, or the sharp curve of his jaw, or the way his shoulders were set when he was at ease, or how he had never felt the bolt of lightning shooting down his spine the moment they looked at each other with any other human being in his entire life. It was living that Lou Christie song. All his life he'd heard about chemistry and he'd thought he'd had it once or twice, but it was obvious he was very, very, wrong.
Forget looking angry; Dean Winchester was positively predatory.
He walked down the sidewalk, the only light coming from the streetlights lining the road and the occasional car passing by, headlights streaking past and flashing in his face, blinding him for a moment before he was able to see again. The cool air of the night blew past and nipped at his skin, and he tugged his hands out of his pockets to pull his sleeves over his fingers, crossing his arms over his chest. He passed a couple of people on his way home, a small group of men and women making their toward the Delta house, toward the party back where Dean was, probably still talking to Lisa. It shouldn't bother him that much, and he tried to ignore the small sinking feeling he got when he thought about Dean speaking with Lisa, leaned against the wall and smiling down at her.
He breathed and walkedtoward his apartment, kicking at stone on the sidewalk, watching as it veered off and landed in the grass. He walked on, passing lamp post after lamp post, and after the small group of people, there was no one else in sight. It was lonely, and a little frightening, to be walking home by himself in the dark, but he could handle this. Plus, it wasn't too far to his place, and if he quickened his pace, he could make it there in no time.
The streets were quiet and Castiel pulled his arms closer to his body, stopping for a brief moment to look behind him before he turned around to start walking again. Okay, so he was nervous, but you would be too if you had to walk home by yourself in the middle of the night. He laughed softly, shaking his head, and started to hum, attempting to keep himself busy and worry-free.
"Well shake it up, baby, now," he began to sing, but before he could any further, he was interrupted by the roar of an engine that nearly had him jumping out of his shoes. He stopped abruptly and turned on his heels, his eyes first meeting a wheel, and the further they traveled up, the more he recognized. It was a motorcycle, the color dark, but he also recognized who was on it. His eyes continued up, and he stopped when he reached the face, and even in the dull light of the street lamp he could see the green eyes of Dean Winchester.
"Need a ride?" he spoke loud enough to be heard over the engine, and Cas blinked, looking around him before looking back at Dean. "Yeah, you. You're the only one standing there."
Immediately, Cas could feel his face grow hot and he looked down at the ground, taking a step back. "No, no, that's okay."
"What?" Dean planted both feet on the ground and cut the engine, sitting low in the seat. "I couldn't hear you."
"I said, 'No, that's okay.' I can walk home on my own, thank you," Castiel turned and shoved his hands into his pockets, but he only made it a few steps until he stopped.
"Wait!" Dean shouted after him, and Cas turned around. "C'mon, it's pretty lonely out here, and walking home alone is a bummer."
He shouldn't trust this guy, because he only just saw him at the party and he'd never talked to him before, but there he was, offering him a ride on that fancy famous bike of his.. Castiel shifted on his feet, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth before nodding and taking a step forward. And Dean grinned, the most wolfish thing that Castiel had ever seen in his life, and started up the engine of the motorcycle as Castiel threw his leg over the back and seated himself behind him.
"Hang on - !"
Tentatively, Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's middle and held on as Dean revved the engine and kicked off, sending them flying down the street. Castiel remembered with horror that he had never been on a motorcycle before. He'd just gotten on - he hadn't thought much about it really, but he had neverbeen on one before this moment.
He squeezed his arms tighter as they lurched forward, and it was obvious that Dean wasn't paying much attention to the speed limit.
"Relax!" he said over his shoulder as they crossed an intersection, still smiling a little, and Cas grimaced, swallowing as he let the tension in his shoulders go. He slid his hands back a little, hovering right by Dean's waist, just above the hem of his jacket. He felt Dean's sides jump as he laughed, probably at him, and he leaned into a turn, Cas trying his best not to freak out about how close it felt like they were to falling. Under his fright there was a hint of exhilaration though, something fluttering and new. Dean was so at ease - they hadn't said hardly two words to each other, but Dean either didn't care or was too practiced with giving random lifts to people to be bothered.
By the time Cas realized they had gone way past his apartment, he was too caught up in the moment to speak up about it. At some point he vaguely understood that Dean probably had no intention of taking him back to his apartment in the first place. His heart jumped in his chest and his breath caught at the implications. He licked his lips nervously and let his fingers skim under Dean's jacket. He felt Dean chuckle more than he heard it, and Cas stalled his movements, shocked when Dean leaned into the touch.Cas felt the firm muscle under his palm and tried to look at anything around them to keep himself from blushing. He'd never touched another person like that - not like this.
Not with the butterflies swelling so much in his stomach he thought they'd burst out of his mouth and fly away.
He watched the buildings streak past. If people followed them with their eyes it was only for a moment before they kept walking or driving.In a random burst of anxiety, Cas worried that someone would recognize them only to calm himself with the understanding that it was dark and they were probably going too fast anyway - besides, all the people who knew him were back at Delta House.
Here he was, with Dean Winchester, who didn't know him at all. Who, last he had seen, had been acting extremely interested in Lisa Braeden, but was now taking him somewhere on the back of his motorcycle.
A second later, he felt them slow down, coasting to a stop beside a lit diner that he had been to maybe once before with a few friends when they had ventured this far into the city.
Cas didn't understand.
He had thought ...he blushed and Dean cut the engine, turning around, eyebrows raised.
"I don't know about you, but I could go for a milkshake," Dean said, grinning, and Cas tried to swallow the lump in his throat again.
"P-pardon?" he replied, and Dean smiled wider, wilder, if that was possible.
"A milkshake? You know what that is, right?" Dean laughed at him, green eyes searching his face. Cas felt his face heat up even more as "I'm sorry, I don't really have any money..." Cas stammered and Dean waved him off, shoving his keys into his pockets.
"Good thing I plan on paying." Dean sighed, holding an arm out at the curb. "After you."
Cas reluctantly climbed off of the bike, trying not to squeeze too hard when he used Dean's shoulder for balance. He stood a foot or so from him watching as Dean stood, humming to himself. He oozed confidence, and Cas had to try his best not to just check him out every time he got the chance.
Dean just smirked, pulling a cigarette from a pack stowed in his jacket, the matches balanced in the other hand. He lit up and took a pull, offering it to Cas as they stood right outside the diner, the lights from inside casting shadows on the street.
"You smoke?"
"Not really," Cas replied. Dean shrugged and surged ahead, still humming to himself, singing a little under his breath, Cas following behind him, the bell above the diner door jingling as they entered.
"Ellen!" Dean called, and a woman turned behind the counter, smiling at him.
"Well, look what the cat dragged in!" she said, pouring coffee into the mug of the man hunched over the sports section of that day's paper. Cas fidgeted with his sweater as Ellen's eyes slid over him and then back to Dean, questioning.
"The usual?" she asked, but her voice held a tone that Cas knew was asking more than that.
Dean smiled at her, not bothered in the least, and then looked at Cas, waving him forward.
"Two please," he responded, and then he indicated for Cas to follow him to a booth towards the back, Dean sliding in on one side and Cas sliding in on the other.
"Jo working tonight?" Dean said to Ellen, leaning back, tapping his smoke out in an ashtray by the window. Cas watched him, astounded thatDean hadn't even asked for his name but was buying him a 'usual'.
"No, she's off. I'll have that right out for you boys..." Ellen trailed off, jotting something down and going through to the kitchen to put their order in. Dean smiled and brought his cigarette back up to his mouth, finally turning his eyes to Cas.
Cas took a breath and twisted his hands together on his lap.
"You'll like this place. Food's great," Dean started, blowing smoke out the side of his mouth. Cas nodded.
"I've been here before," he replied shortly, suddenly irritated with how presumptuous the whole thing was. He just wanted a ride home, and now he was out of his comfort zone and the idiot smiling at him was to blame.
"Have you?" Dean laughed. "Well, then you know."
"I guess."
Dean looked at him with hooded, lazy regard, eyes smoothing over Cas' face and then down, to where the table cut his torso off. Cas cleared his throat and Dean flicked his eyes back up to him.
"You know about me?" Dean said all at once, , his smirk back, careless and curious. He pulled on his cigarette and Cas shifted a little, glancing out the window.
"Not much, really."
"That's surprising," Dean exclaimed, a little more animated. "Most people know all about me. Especially if they're at a Delta party. But you don't look like the usual. You must live in the library."
"I'm studying to become a Doctor," Cas interjected and Dean grinned, bared his teeth, almost like he was impressed or something.
There was a pause and Cas counted the grains of salt spilled on the table, distracting himself from Dean's eyes, until Dean leaned forward, palming his chin.
"So, you queer?"
Cas' face shot up and he inhaled sharply, staring at Dean who was smiling softly at him. Cas glanced away, his cheeks no doubt stained with red.
"So what if I am?" he whispered, and he couldn't believe he'd actually said it out loud. To Dean Winchester of all people. Fuck he was stupid. There was no reason for him to admit that, but - Dean didn't look offended. He didn't even look excited about it. It was as if he'd asked what classes Cas was taking or what records he listened to.fuck, he was stupid.
Dean nodded and shrugged. "I figured. Last time someone looked at me like you did at Lisa's, I got laid." Cas' eyes widened. "I don't even know you!" he hissed, "I just was trying to walk home, and you picked me up and - !"
"Now I'm buying you a milkshake," Dean finished for him. "And fries too." He tapped his cigarette out. "Pretty good for a first date, if you ask me."
"Wha- First date?" Cas choked out, turning to look at Dean with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open.
Dean only grinned at him, shrugging again "First date."
He said it so matter-of-factly, like this is the only reason why he offered Cas a ride- just so that he could take him to this diner and buy him some french fries and a milkshake, and then claim it as their first date. They didn't even know each other. Cas only knew about Dean from what Hester had told him back at the party, and Dean hadn't even asked for his name yet.
"You don't even know my name."
"Then tell me."
Castiel narrowed his eyes and leaned back in his seat, but Dean didn't falter at all. He just sat there, watching Castiel \. The way Dean was staring at him made him nervous and his voice faltered as he spoke.
"C-Castiel."
"Castiel," Dean repeated, easily rolling his name off of his tongue, and the way that he said it sent chills down Castiel's spine. It made his cheeks grow red and butterflies flutter around in his stomach.
"So is this why you picked me up? To bring me to a diner to get a milkshake and some fries?"
"Basically." Dean leaned back in his seat too, and he just looked so nonchalant, like he didn't have a care in the world. He didn't seem to care about being out in public with Cas, buying him food and claiming this to be their 'first date' out loud. "I saw you at the party and you looked, well, interesting. But then you left before I could talk to you. I was going to let you go, but, I figured, 'Hey, why not?' You only live once, right?
"You weren't even planning on taking me home, were you?"
"Not yet."
Castiel laughed softly, shaking his head as he turned back to look outside of the window. The street lights were barely illuminating the sidewalk, and a car passed by.
"That's not how you ask to take someone out."
"What?" And this time, Dean faltered.
"It's better to ask politely. Not offer them a ride a home, and then just not take them home."
"Well, I am actually planning to take you home afterward, if that makes anything better."
"I don't think that counts."
Dean didn't say anything for a few moments, and Castiel turned to look at him again, smiling softly when he saw that Dean had his mouth slightly agape, as if he didn't even know what to say.
"But, y'know, this is kinda nice. I was pretty hungry anyway." Castiel shrugged and Dean straightened up, grinning the way he had been before, bordering on feral.
Castiel pushed his glasses up with his finger and tapped his nails on the formica, a tense silence falling over them.
"So, tell me Castiel, what's your story?" Dean asked after a moment, jamming the remainder of his cigarette into the ashtray, one arm thrown over the back of the booth. He tilted his head at Castiel, inclining him to speak. Castiel stopped drumming on the table top and tried to think of something to say. He wasn't really the kind of person with a story - he was just going to school. He was going to become a doctor. He lived alone in a shitty apartment and pretended to touch girls at parties.
This was probably the most interesting thing that had ever happened to him, so he supposed he might as well tell the truth.
"I'm sitting at a booth with you, and this is the first time that has ever happened," he began, noting the way Dean's eyebrows shot up. "Ever."
Dean huffed and squinted at him.
"Don't tell me this is your first date ever."
Castiel stared at Dean despite the flush rising up his collar. Dean's eyes widened.
"You're kidding. Face like yours?"
Castiel remained silent and Dean covered his mouth with his hand, chuckling and looking at the counter for a few seconds.
"Well, damn," he said into his palm, looking back at Castiel, his smile peeking out between his fingers. "Guess that makes me kind of special, huh."
Castiel rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
"Just because it's my first 'date' doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I could have had my first date with anybody," he growled and Dean leaned forward, elbows on the table, slowly entering Castiel's orbit.
YOU ARE READING
Twist and Shout
FanfictionThe infamous Twist and Shout on ao3 about my OTP: Destiel ⚠️THIS STORY WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME ⚠️ This story was written by gabriel and standbyme on ao3 Summary: What begins as a transforming love between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak in the summe...