Lose (Harry Styles)

1.7

It was one o' clock in the morning and I sat in the living room, holding a towel to my forehead. Again, another bruise had formed. I wonder many things.

I wonder why Desmond is filled with such anger.

I wonder why Darrel has sided with my father.

I wonder why my mother excepted me to rely on Desmond even though he was the one who took me away from her in the first place.

I didn't understand, nothing made sense.

All I knew is that my father had turned psychotic and planned to take me or kill me, somewhere along those lines. Anne said long ago that I wouldn't last here with Desmond and she was indeed correct. I'm dying on the inside, slowly. Very, very slowly. I don't know how much of this I can take. I also don't know how long it would take for Harry to completely snap at his father.

I wondered a horrid thought. I'd never wish death upon anyone but I wondered how things would turn out like if Desmond was dead.

I shook my head at the unpleasant thought. I was sure that I wasn't going to the live when Desmond came back into the living room. He was furious. Absolutely furious.

Zayn entered the room and sat on the couch in front of me, glaring at my face as my eyes dropped to the floor. He looked pissed, real pissed. The room was silent and all I could hear was the sound of Zayn breathing.

"You just had to go out right?" asked Zayn. I look up to see him shake his head. His face was tear stained and is nose was red.

"I-"

"No, don't you dare speak" he snapped.

I clamped my mouth shut.

"You don't understand how he is god dammit" said Zayn "he does more than just beat up his servants, he beats everyone around him, he kills them."

Tears filled his charming brown eyes and his lip quivered. I could tell he was trying to hold it down since he found it unmanly. He continued to rant.

"And the worst part is you can't change him! No therapy, no medicine can cure this!" he says, his voice raising. I looked at him in fear.

"As cute as you are Darcy, you just ruined everything for me."

"I-I'm sorry" I say

"Don't be, I suspected you to do something stupid like that anyway."

A burning sensation was felt at my throat and tears filled my eyes.

"You now put my sister's life on the line" he said "another wrong move and she'll be dead as well as me-"

"Okay, okay I'm sorry!" I say and drop the red stained towel to the floor. I stood up, my eyes shooting lasers. I don't know what came over me. I guess this is part where I break free from my fear and embrace the fact that I need to be strong.

"I screwed up! I know! But I'm not going for what Desmond is doing! He is a sick and mad person, killing people and all, don't you dare start blaming things that he is doing on me!"

Zayn was stunned. He looked at me silently.

"Okay" he mumbled.

"Why is Desmond like this?" I groaned rubbing my temples.

"He has a multiple personality disorder" said Zayn while sighing.

I sighed, frustrated to hear that another person had a mental disorder.

"It makes him destructible" says Zayn "when he is his normal self he is calm and he can focus, he knows what he is doing but when his mood switches he acts like everyone is against him and will not tolerate anyone who disobeys him."

"Does that mean Harry has a disorder too?" I ask. My mind seemed to not be cooperating with my body tonight because the words escaped my mouth without me realising. I guess it's just apart of me wanting to know about Harry.

"Fortunately he hasn't got his fathers jeans so no" says Zayn

"So he is just naturally rude then" I say

"well not exactly" says Zayn "living a life like this traumatises him, you know."

I nod, I tried to understand but I haven't lived this life for as long as he has.

Zayn glanced at the ticking clock on the wall. After Desmond dropped me home, well more like dragged me home, he went back to collet his possessions. Bonnie didn't defend me, only because I begged her not to. I'm glad she didn't because it would save her from getting hurt. As for me, well, things weren't going to go well for me.

This team that we had formed wasn't a team at all. Everyone against each other as much we protected one another. Bonnie defended me but only on certain occasions, Zayn obeyed Desmond but spoke inappropriately of him afterwards, Harry loved his father but yet hated him too, Desmond wants to protect us all but in a way he wants to kill us all, and I......well I don't trust anyone.