John...?

Part 1

Sometimes things happen when you're down. When you just want to cry it all out. When you believe you're the only one on Earth.. when there happened something you can't take back. When you would love to regret. When there is loneliness and pain and only you could understand it.. nobody would.. nobody will.. nobody can help.

"I'm nothing.." John says when he looks at his feet while sitting on the ground in the park.. The wind is kindly and the weather is nice. A lovely summer day but an unhappy John. 

Something is wrong.. nobody knows what it is. Nobody can believe the love he does miss.

Slowly he lifts his face when he hears children playing with a ball in the grass. Looking into the sunny light between the trees, he sees the children, happy without any worry or care. There lives are good.. 

Heavy as his head feels he let it hang down again. looking at the grass between his feet. He wonders if anyone can see him.. wondering if anyone knows what he thinks. A day a night.. a week long.. the guilt has been growing and the world just carries on living.

His hand feels in his pocket of his leather jacket. Looking for cigarettes. He finds one without taking it out of his jacket, his fingers run up and down on it. He's quiet. everything is quiet, aside the children who have their little play time.

John lifts his head when the sun disappears. He sees someone standing in front of him.

"Go away." John says, croaky and moody. The smell of alcohol leaves his mouth.

The person he knows but doesn't want to know keeps standing. "Paul. Leave me the fuck alone." He says louder. 

The Cigarette in his pocket gets torn by his fingers, ander and confusion are the bos.

The person sits down and moves his fingers under John's chin, making sure he looks in his eyes. "I can't leave you alone when you're troubling with yourself." The voice says.

"Fuck off. Paul." John mutters. 

"I keep here." Paul replies.

Quickly, John's free hand grabs Paul's wrist and he puts his nails in the arm of his friend. "LEAVE ME!!" He yells.

Paul almost faints, the nails hurt.. they go deep in his arm. He swallows although he can feel himself go pale.

John lets go and pushes him away powerful.

Paul keeps there.. laying on the ground for several seconds.. or minutes.. He looks at his friend who looks uncontrollable back.

John gets up and leaves.