Forever & Alone

Forever & Alone chp.5

As soon as I parked the car outside of my house, I stormed in feeling anxious and angry all at once.

Fuck I miss her.

I screamed pulling my hair and pacing back and forth in the small, dark living room. I felt my breathing pick up and started gasping.

No, no. Fuck not again.

I started pacing more and I felt a thin coat of sweat form on my forehead. My thoughts starting racing and I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. My hands started shaking and I hit the ground gasping.

No, this can't be happening again.

I sat with my back against the wall and brought my knees up to my chest. I buried my face in my knees trying to take deep breathes and rocking back and forth slowly.

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I tried to focus on my breathing rather than the racing thoughts trying to plague my mind.

'Breathe. Remember, it's just chemicals'.

I kept repeating Alex Gaskarth's words in my head trying to calm myself down. As I repeated his words in my head, I also focused on my breathing to get it even again, and still rocking back and forth slowly never taking my head out of my knees.

I don't know how long I stayed in that position, but suddenly I heard a loud knock on my front door. I snapped my head up staring at the door from my position on the floor. I didn't move, didn't even dare to breathe or blink.  I just kept staring at the door with a blank face.

Another loud knock and now shouting snapped me out of my reverie.

"Claire! What the hell are you doing? Hurry your ass up and open the fucking door!"

I recognized the voice to be Ryder's. I stared at the door for a second more before taking a deep breath and slowing getting up from the floor. My back ached and the muscles in my legs were contract. I stretched them out groaning softly before walking calmly to the front door.

I opened the front door with a stoic face. Like I just didn't have a full blown panic attack moments before. I came face to face with the six idjits.

"Took you long enough." Ryder sighed while checking his phone.

"Claire, how are you feeling?" Reese asked from behind Ryder.

I paused not wanting to answer, but I did. "Hey, I'm feeling okay" I shrugged not caring.

My gaze dropped to the ground bored out of my mind. I get bored easily. That's why I would much rather be alone with my music. I don't get bored with music. That is until someone else spoke.

"That's good 'cause lately I've been feeling so strange."

My eyes snapped up to meet Jace's eyes. I was shocked that he responded with that. I looked at him for a moment not saying anything. Everyone else looked confused out of their minds once again.

Jared opened his mouth to say something, but before he could I spoke up not taking my eyes off Jace. "Like I've been re-arranged."

He grinned, his forest green eyes shining brightly. "Changed," He said.

"And these voices... the ones that I can hear in my head." I said casually, leaning against the door frame still looking into his eyes.

Everyone else turned to look at me like I was crazy. Well, all except Hunter it seemed like. Again he was looking down at the floor with a tiny smile.

"These fellas are telling me that I'd be better off dead." Jace replied with amusement.

I smirked. He has good taste in music I'll say admit that much.

"Okay what the hell are you two talking about?!" Reese exclaimed with confusion clear in his voice.

I tore my gaze away from Jace and looked at them. He, just like Ryder and Jared, hell even Vic, was switching his gaze between me and Jace looking at us as if we were insane.

I swear I faintly heard Hunter chuckle beside me. But it was so faint that I don't even know for sure if I heard it or imagine it.

I shook my head. "Nothing. So what are we doing tonight?"

Ryder opened his mouth to say something, but Jace interrupted him causing Ryder to glare at him. I turned to look at him again.

"Actually, I don't know if you knew this or not, but they are playing a show tonight. We should all go." Jace suggested still looking into my eyes.

I stood up straighter and my eyes shone a little with happiness and a small, but genuine ghost of smile appeared on my face.

I haven't seen Highly Suspect play live yet. I've been dying to see them. We have to go. I'm not missing this for the world.

"Who is playing tonight?" Vic asked looking at us really confused.

"We are going." I said ignoring Vic completely.

I felt Reese's intense stare on the side of my face but I didn't take my eyes off Jace and he didn't take his eyes off me.

"Yeah, let's go to that instead." Reese said to the rest of the guys.

I turned to look at him. He was staring at me smiling. I gave him a strange look, but his smile didn't falter. He creeps me the fuck out. Despite that, I was curious as to why he agreed to go to a show if he doesn't even know what band is playing. Why did he agree so quickly? I wondered glaring at him suspiciously.

"What band is even playing?" Ryder asked irritated that we didn't go along with his plan.

"Highly Suspect" Hunter said softly.

Every single one of us turned to look at him surprised. I was surprised because he knew the band, but the rest were surprised because he rarely ever speaks. I bet they don't even remember the last time they heard him speak.

"HE SPEAKS!" Yelled Reese causing me roll my eyes at him annoyed.

Dumbass.

"So it's settled then. We are all going to go see Highly Suspect play tonight." Jace said clapping his hands together once grinning like a stoner.

Tonight is going to be interesting. I'm sure of it.

----------------Author's Note---------------

OMFG its been so long since I updated this story. I didnt know it was this long holy shit. But i do remember that I had actually written this chapter a hella long time ago but everything from my computer got deleted and i lost it. Anyway this chapter is way different than the one i had originally written and i like this one way better.

I am going to start updating this story more often. I really like this story. I can speak in song references in this story and i love that. I cant do that in real life because none of my friends listen to the music i do. it sucks ass tbh.

i just hope at least one person is still interested in this story. i want to keep writing it but if no one is interested in it anymore i wont post anymore and focus on my other stories instead.

but anywho i hope you guys like this chp. I know its boring but this is the build up. trust me once the characters start developing more and getting to know each other better there's big secrets that will be revealed.

ALSO LISTEN TO THE SONG ABOVE! ITS THE SONG OF THE LYRICS THAT JACE AND CLAIRE WERE SAYING TO ONE ANOTHER! THE SONG IS BATH SALTS BY HIGHLY SUSPECT AND I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH!!!
I have seen them play live before. But when I saw them play I didn't have a clue who the were. I first heard of them and watched them play at Aftershock and I fell in love. Then I listened to their album 'Mister Asylum' and I'm officially obsessed.

okie anyway peaceskies motherfuckers i love you all ^-^