Unthinkable - a The Selection fanfiction

Fights and Raids

Will and I were making our ways to my brothers' room. We passed several guards, whom I greeted, since I'd already known them.
"You know all of them?" Asked William bewildered
"Yeah. I spend more time with them than with Kat" I replied, feeling a little guilty.
William looked weirdly at me
"That's a first. I like it"
I just kept quiet, I didn't know what to say.
I saw Mark and waved at him. He came up to us with another officer whom I'd never seen before.
"Your highness, you should be aware that the guards say that if you don't ask her to marry you, one of us will" said Mark in all seriousness. I blushed in an instant. It was way to early to talk about wedding.
"You know that that's my choice right?" I asked.
"Why yes, but you are so awesome it would be an honour being turned down by you!"
"I know she is. But it's been just a few weeks you know?" Retorted Will while he kept on walking.
"And adulation won't do the trick" I replied over my shoulder.

***

I won a bet with William about how I could actually attend Silvia's lessons. So I got to write to my family. I wanted to know how dad, the Carlsons, Ethan and Kit were doing. I wrote them five pages long letters. I told them everything. I told Ethan everything about what actually happened with Silvia, about the dates and meetings with William and the other girls, of which the number dropped to fifteen -it looked like Will had a thing for numbers multiples of five, and asked him how his wife was, since Giorgiana was pregnant. I asked Kit the same questions and told the same things, but held some details back, as well as I did with dad and Dorothy.
Will made sure they got them by the end of the day. When he saw I didn't stop thanking him, he just replied
"A bet is a bet, you owe me nothing sweetie". I was taken aback, since he said it in all seriousness.
We were in my room, he had watched me write my letter patiently.
"Do you like tea?" Asked Will nonchalantly.
"I love it. It's my all time favourite beverage!"
"Good. I'll ask a maid to bring us some"
"No, I'll make it. We could go to the kitchen"
"You are aware that the help is here to... Help, right?"
"Yeah, but you see, they have better things to do than... You know... Serve us?"
"It's their job"
"Can't I make it easier?"
"Aren't you headstrong?"
"That's why you like me" I was kidding but he stood up and came closer to me.
"You are right" he was whispering by now, not that I couldn't hear, we were so close our nose were touching. I knew what was coming. And I could feel my heart jump out of my chest. Quite sure William felt it through his own ribs. Then the prince swiftly wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. I felt like it lasted forever, but when we broke apart, I realised it didn't last as long as I'd wished and he left me wanting more.
"Maybe we should go get that tea" said William in a low tone, which made all the huskiness in his voice come out. I just nodded, since I couldn't seem to form a coherent thought. He grabbed my hand and lead me to the kitchen.

***

I waved at Charles, the chef, when we entered. Everyone in the room bowed to Will.
"Can I help you?" Asked Charles
"I'm just going to make some tea. Would you mind it if we stayed here?" I questioned
"No, please, make yourself at home. Do you want me to make the tea?"
"No, I got this covered, thank you chef." replied William to my surprise.
Will then proceeded to put on the kettle. I picked out my favourite type of tea and William's as well.
"As your highness wishes" replied Charles, going back to his work.
We were doing small talk.
"Can I ask you something?" I was not very sure, but I had to. Rumours had it that he had already kissed a few girls. Clara was the first. And this was upsetting me, now that we kissed, too.
"You already have" he replied laughing. "Go ahead sugar"
"Why did you kiss me? Why did you waited this long?"
"That's two questions. First, I like you, despite your many flaws. Second, your brothers told me you've never had a boyfriend so I didn't want to upset you. And I wanted to be sure I felt something for you"
"My brothers don't have a say in this. I decide who is allowed access to whatever part of my body. Another question" now I was even more hesitant. Did I really really truly wanted to know? William just nodded. "Have you and Clara kissed? Or you and any other of the girls?"
"Have I... Excuse me?"
"You heard me" I replied slowly
"Does it matter?"
"I... Yes it does." I tried to reply as calmly as I could manage.
"How so?"
"Because..." I couldn't talk. No way. When I got upset, usually I started crying, with tears and sobs and all of it. And I couldn't talk. For the knot in my throat, the tears in my eyes, the breath stuck in my lungs.
"Yes, yes I have. Clara shows her feelings more clearly that some people" replied William angry. I couldn't quite grasp the reason why.
"Man, she's an actress! Do you really think she's here for you?! Did you really buy it!?" I didn't know why I was so upset. I mean, I was aware it wasn't going to be an exclusive relationship.
"Do you really find it hard to believe someone can be here for me?! How can I be sure someone is here for me?! How do I know you haven't come here just for your brothers or to ask me to make you a guard?!" he was partially right. Partially. And he was furious. I could tell from his eyes, like a storm was gathering in them.
"I don't find it hard. I know I'm here for you. I couldn't be here for my brothers, I had no certainty of coming here. How could you possibly think such thing about me? Don't you see the affect you have on me?" Alright, I tried not to show what my feeling were, but... The kiss should've been enough explanation.
"Then why are you making it such a big deal?"
"Because everyone hates those who once would be twos. It is a miracle Clara is so high up in the surveys. People still hate those who would be upper castes. And I wouldn't give a dime if it didn't affect your choice in the least. But it does! You need to take into account what the people want. You would never dare to choose Kono, because she is the last one. But... I... Excuse me." I excused myself, stood up without bothering to put away my mug of tea and ran away, trying to hide my tears of frustration. I thought I'd hear Will follow me to tell me that he maybe didn't mean it, but nothing. How could he not understand that I did indeed have feelings for him? That I was in this because it might be good? That I'm not here for the crown? Nor my brothers? Nor the uniform? I thought to give this a shot, I wasn't even sure I'd been picked. This was just better than been psychologically abused at school. This was a way to forget how Sean stabbed me when he found out that, even if he drugged me and dragged me in an alley to scare me, he woudn't have been able to make me drop out of college.
I went to the gym, hoping to throw some punches. There were Kat and Amber, my brain recorded it, I was glad Kat made friends. As bubbly as she was, the other girls didn't hang with her much. I didn't feel like talking and they understood, so they just stood there watching me hitting the hell out of the punching bag while crying my eyes out. I was so thankful for them. The simple way they could understand me, even though we didn't spend much time together. I didn't go to dinner. The next day I stood in my room. But by 3 in the afternoon I was tired of just crying over myself for something I'd known was bound to happen.
I was cooking some ragù [bolognese sauce] when the sirens went off. I didn't understand what was happening right away.
Charles told me to go with the guards but I couldn't leave these people. The safe rooms where they stayed were weaker than the ones for us. They needed someone to protect them. So I grabbed the knifes I could reach and went with them, shushing their protests.
The room we went to was little, there barely was room, food and water for everyone. And it was cold. Not that I was dressed warmly.
I tried to make everyone relax, but they ended up explaining to me these people were those who'd had problems with the new system and the absence of castes. They didn't really wanted something, beside their old status and privileges back. They hadn't killed anyone yet, just lots of injured. My brothers!