destruction

i sit here with my headphones in and my lights out thinking about you. 

 my heart likes to speak sometimes. it speaks softly, yet hits me harder than the time before. 

i believe love is everywhere, but i also believe that true love comes once in a lifetime. it's not just the way you look at me, or the barbarian stories. you can make me smile when all i want to do is cry.

 when i want to die you make me feel that spark of life.

 you can do something as simple as say my name and i'll begin to feel all warm inside. i'm afraid you notice how much i need you, but then i remember that i need you more than you could dream. i'm not one to love easily, but i love you more than you can conceive.

 my heart is starting to get weak. it was once suggested to me to take a deep breathe and let it all go, so i decided to try. 

oxygen filled my lungs, my chest expanded. 

but for some reason i couldn't exhale. i know this is all crazy, because i don't even know when or how you became so important to me.

 this world has constantly got me at odds with myself. though sometimes i look up for guidance it's so nice to have someone that brings more peace that pain. 

but i can't really explain it all to you. i sometimes think it's how different our love is. 

there's something about being destructive with someone that's romantic.

god, there are so many things i'm too afraid to say. i just don't really know how to say how i feel. 

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i hope u guys liked the intro to my first story! 

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