Forever and always*gay love story*

Chapter Eleven

(Javier's POV)
Sebastian kissed me. Actually, Sebastian is still kissing me. I haven't pulled away yet and neither has he. Obviously the only reason I haven't is because I'm in shock. I mean, Sebastian is straight! Or at least I thought he was. Then again, most straight guys don't randomly kiss other guys. Right? I pushed him away.

"What the hell, Sebastian? Why did you do that?!" I shouted. Sebastian was breathing hard, like he'd just run a race. His eyes were wide and I'd bet money mine were too. I touched my fingers to my mouth, still in shock. I couldn't figure out if that had really happened or if I'd like blacked out or some shit.

"I...I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me..." Sebastian muttered, soft and shakily. I just looked at him. "I wanted to come in to talk to you about how I feel and how the way that you feel, hurts me. I never wanted to hurt you. Its just, I couldn't allow myself to get close to you. It was too risky. And yet, now, I feel like I don't want to leave you. When I saw the burns and cuts on your wrists, I couldn't believe I'd ever thought that our bullying you didn't affect you. Because it obviously did. You just always took it so well...you never said anything. I know that sounds stupid, I mean, what could you have said? I just want you to know that I'm sorry." Sebastian finished quickly. I felt tears in my eyes.

For so long, all I had ever wanted is for him to accept me and to be friends with him. And now he's saying he does but I just cant believe it. All I can think about is when he left me and then became the kind of person that he used to hate. Does he expect me to trust him? I want to...but I just cant. I looked up at him to see him staring at me, seemingly waiting for me to say something.

"I..I don't know how to respond to this. I appreciate that you are apologizing for everything, but saying you're sorry and actually proving it are two different things. I can't just forget about everything you did to me. I wish I could, but I can't." I told him quietly. Honestly...Sebastian nodded, slowly and sadly. I frowned. He moved to leave but I stopped him, placing my hand on his elbow. He looked back at me cautiously.

"I said I can't forget. Not that I can't forgive." I whispered. Sebastian looked surprised, like he couldn't believe I was going to give in so easy. As a matter of fact, neither can I. It was just something about him that made me want my best friend back, no matter how changed he was.

"Javier, I want to try this again. I guarantee that I will fuck up a lot, but I want to try to be friends again. And umm, that kiss? I'd been wanting to do it for a while. I've just been to scared. After all, we weren't exactly on the best terms..." Sebastian said quietly, almost desperately. I hesitated briefly, then nodded. He looked ecstatic about the fact that I would give him another chance. Then again, I was just as surprised as he was..
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Early the next morning, I woke up to the sound of my phone vibrating on the bedside table. Groaning, I rolled over and pressed the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I said, frowning when I realized I didn't know who it was. I probably should have checked the caller ID...

"Hey. It's me." I heard Sebastian's familiar voice on the other end. I held back another groan. Whatever this was couldn't wait? It's 4 a.m!

"Umm, hey?" I questioned, confusion evident in my voice. I heard a sigh on the other end of the line. I raised my eyebrows, even though he couldn't see me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me. I held back an explosive stream of expletives. He called me this early to have a simple conversation? What the hell?

"Why are you calling me? I'm fucking exhausted, that's how I'm feeling." I huffed angrily. I couldn't see him, but I imagined Sebastian biting his lip as he contemplated his response. Finally, his voice came back.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay... That there wasn't a repeat of the other night. I've been awake all night contemplating whether or not to call you, and I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I needed to hear your voice telling me you were alright.." Sebastian said, slowly, cautiously, as if afraid his answer would anger me. In all reality, it did the opposite. It had been a long time since anyone really felt the need to check on my well-being. It warmed me from the inside out.

"I'm okay, Sebastian. A little sore from before, but thats all. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night." I replied, ready to get the last hour and 45 minutes of sleep I could manage.

"Oh... Javier?" I heard quietly, Sebastian sounding so close to sleep. I sighed quietly.

"Yes?"

"May I take you to school in the morning? Please?" He asked gently, once again seeming to fear rejection. By this time he would have realized... I could never deny him anything. Not even my life..

"Yes, Sebastian."... You've already taken my heart....