Red vs Blue: Tucker's Farewell

Tucker's Farewell

Alone in his bunk, Tucker lies awake at night, unable to sleep. Yesterday his best friend died, and tomorrow a ship should arrive to take him along with the rest of the Res and Blues off of the planet. He throws off his covers and rises to his feet. The faint glow from his sword provides enough light for him to walk to his new armor without being as aimless as Church's marksmanship. As he puts on the helmet he begins searching for the recordings that Church left him. Simmons made sure everyone got the personalized goodbyes Church recorded. Tucker hits play on the one that comes up first, not really caring which one it happened to be. A holorecording of Church appears in the middle of the room and starts speaking.

"Hey guys"

With an exasperated groan Tucker exclaims "I have to listen to this bullshit again? Don't you ever shut up? You talk more than Felix, and he was a fucking super villain!"

"If you're hearing this it means you did it. You won."

"Won what? The sniper rifle? Herpes? Again? Getting Caboose duty for the rest of my life? Wow, I'm honored. Chicks don't dig morons! I told him he could be my wing man ONE TIME and I scored negative pussy. I got shot down so many times that night you'd think the girls were Caboose in a tank and we were on the same team. Plus, you've died so many fucking times Caboose doesn't believe me anymore when I say you're gone. I literally found him sitting at the door waiting for you to come back the other day. He looked like a dog, he even had his tongue hanging out of his mouth."

"But with your help these memories they...they took form. They became MY voice, MY personality."

"Hey you can't pin that on us. There's no way it's our fault you're such a prick. If you want someone to blame look at that psycho girlfriend of yours. I mean I'm kinky, but you must be one masochistic fuck to date her. Seriously though, what was it like in the sack? You never told me."

"All of these things, are what make me who I am. But they are also holding me back."

"Wooooooooowwwww. Really asshole? Memories of us hold you back just like a Chinese Finger Trap holds back Caboose. Do you remember how he got out of those? Oh that's right, you're a dumbass and erased all your memories, so I'll tell you, because I'm a nice guy like that. He asked for help!"

"I wish there was another way. But I'm leaving this message. As well as others in the hopes that you'll understand why I have to go this time."

"Goddammit Church you're making Caboose look like the smart one! You learned the wrong lesson from last time! You're not supposed to leave a note when you leave. You're just not supposed to leave!"

"There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give his life to save the day."

"Oh my fucking God. Being inside that capture unit must've been a wet dream for you. You got to live out your God complex AND get blue balled by Tex at the same time. What a perfect world."

"And because of their sacrifice the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everyone lives happily ever after."

"No! No one is cheering! Remember when Doyle died and the army was more divided than Doc's personalities? Or how about when you left and Wash made me run laps? If he tries that shit again I will bring you back and murder you myself."

"But the hero never gets to see that ending. They'll never really know if their sacrifice actually made a difference."

"When as your death EVER made a difference? All it does is send Caboose into a spiraling depression, which even I think is sad, until we get you back!"

"Ain't that a bitch."

"Not as much as you."

Church disappears as the message ends, darkening the room once more. There's a momentary pause as the helmet readies the second message. Tucker isn't paying much attention, still irritated at his friend. He's slightly startled when Church reappears in front of him, ready to deliver his personal farewell to Tucker.

"Dear Tucker...Fuck you"

"Oh you PRICK!"