New Summer New Boys

Summer....and....Shane

NEVER SETTLE FOR BEING THE CHARACTER IN SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY WHEN YOU ARE MEANT TO BE THE AUTHOR OF YOUR OWN.

First thought as soon as I open my eyelids is to speak to Shane. I get ready, grab my bag and head to the class. The class gets filled in no time. I wonder why Shane hasn't turned up yet. The teacher comes in too. After what seems like an hour Shane finally appears. The most absurd is, he doesn't sit next to me but goes all the way to the front. This makes it all the more harder to have a conversation with him. 

"I need to talk to you." I close the door leaving only us in the room.

"I have some important work. Bye." He says and tries to push open the door.

"No, I just need two minutes. Please." I request him.

I hear him sigh and get the green signal."look Shane, I don't know what suddenly happened to you? See mistakes happen with everybody. If you think that awkward moment will make a difference to our relationship then your wrong. I never thought anything about it. I don't want to ruin my friendship because of some stupid moment. You mean a lot to me. please don't ignore me like this." I complete without a pause.

"Your done? Can I leave now?" he asks so carelessly like those words didn't mean a thing.

"Why are you being so rude? What have I done?" I ask as a tear rolls from my dead cheeks.

 "listen, now face the truth. You never meant anything to me. when I saw you the first day, I figured out that your vulnerable and gullible. I thought its going to be fun to get a girl like you to talk to me. I had no work apart from studies in these two months so you were just a piece of entertainment. That's all." He finishes the most shattering words ever without a tinge of sadness.

"Tell me your lying. No. I just wont believe this?" I cry.

"Well baby, you just don't know the real Shane. Hope you try figuring that out." He laughs and leaves the room.

"Shane, please don't do this to me." I whisper trying to catch hold of his hand but he's gone. It is quiet for a long moment, just the thud of my heart hammering and the broken rhythm of my breathing. it was just the type of pain that doesn't feel real at first but when it hits you it takes your breath away. I cannot stand anymore, before my knees would give up on me I should rush home.

Me: please tell me you are joking. If it is soo then I will oscar you for that acting. I don't believe this.

I message him as soon as I reach home.

Shane: suit yourself then. You don't believe me when I am actually telling the truth. I really don't care.

Me: you cant do this to me. I spilled my entire life on you.

Shane: that's what I wanted. I thoroughly had fun getting on with you :)

I call him and he cuts. I call him again and again. This cant be true. I was spending time with someone who was never real. Tears starts rolling and this time there is no Shane to stop it. No he can't do that to me.

I lay face down across my bed, waiting for justice to find me. maybe a landslide would bury me. I really wished it would. I never wanted to see my face in the mirror again. I could no more breath through my nose. I want to end my life. how can I face the world tomorrow? it feels like I have nothing left to live. No purpose of my life. I am so prone to ending my life. I beginning to think that I have suicidal ideation. I remembered Shane's word and I promised him that I would never attempt but he was the one who broke the promise of never leaving my life. It just hurts only, when I breath.