One word

chapter 47 - guilt

Kalin's p.o.v.

Dillion rushes into the office that Christian and I are in.

"I get it now! You're pregnant!" he shouts in glee.

I see Christian face palm himself.

"Dude it has been a wreck, which reminds me, you're off the hook of kitchen cleaning," Christian says while suppressing a laugh.

"Why wouldn't anyone tell me though?" he asks.

"So that we could have this moment," I giggle out.

"Oh. Makes sense."

He shrugs his shoulders then walks out.

He is such an idiot. I tell Christian through our mind-link so that Dillion can't hear.

Yes he is, but you still love him.

Not as much as I love you.

I am currently sitting on his lap so he is easily able to violently kiss me. We only separate when there is knocking on the door.

"Come in," Christian grumbles.

James steps in.

"How are you feeling Luna?" he asks in his soothing voice.

"Well the throwing up part seems to be gone since two days ago, which means that I really am growing faster," I perk up.

"That's good. Usually a human is puking for four to six weeks, and a she-wolf for a week and a half. You were throwing up only four days, which makes me think your due date should be in one month and three weeks."

I feel like my jaw drop. That's less than two months. That means that Lisa will be here when the baby is four months old. Would she not attack if she knew? I silently laugh at this. She wouldn't even have mercy on her own mate. How reckless would she really be if she knew about the love-ball growing in me? Would she even think about mercy now? Most likely not. Why would she now show care and affection when she had the man her soul connected to just slaughtered like he was nothing but scum beneath her shoes? Why am I thinking about this now? Can't I at least wait until I am holding my precious child? Why worry about it at all? I couldn't even try to control it, so why pretend that I can?

Kalin? Are you okay?

I snap out of my trance to see two pairs of worry filled eyes looking straight at me. What happened? What did I miss?

Kalin, do you need to lay down or something?

"No I'm good. What did I miss?"

"We were discussing an ultrasound. James wants to watch the progress of our baby. Is that okay with you?"

"Do you have the stuff already?"

"Yes, it is quite a simple process really, and you can even learn the baby's gender if you wish to in maybe a week," James explains.

I simply nod my head. I haven't even thought about the gender of our baby. I only picture my holding them in a soft blanket and looking at their piercing blue eyes.

Are you okay?

Yea, just doing a lot of thinking.

About what?

Do I tell him the truth about my sister and how much I'm afraid of her wrapping a noose around my neck and taking everything I have and letting me do nothing about it? About how much the simple thought of Lisa hurting anyone in our pack sends a shiver down my spine? About how easily I used to laugh with her as a child and feel nothing but pure hatred for her know? Or do I lie and use anything else as an excuse?

Food seems to be the only thing on my mind.

The guilt is already seeding into me. He gives me a look saying that he knows that I was lying, straight to his face.

"When will you want me to schedule your ultrasound?" James ponders.

I look at Christian. I don't think I can trust my voice right now. If I open my mouth, then I will cry and beg him to forgive me for so bluntly lying to his face. Okay, I probably wouldn't, but it would definitely crack which is enough to tell that I was lying. His eyes hold questions that his mouth doesn't dare to ask.

"How about later or tomorrow?" he asks without looking away.

"Later on today will work unless there is an emergency."

I hear James say as I hear the door shut as well. Our party of four has now became three. I force my eyes to look away. I already feel them watering up a little bit. Maybe this will help keep my guilt hidden as well.

"Do you not trust me to tell the truth? I know you were thinking about Lisa," he whispers.

The hurt is evident in his voice. I feel a tear finally falling down my check. Christian softly lifts my head up and wipes my falling tears away.

"It's not that, it's just I don't want you to worry about my problem," I speak softly.

"What is yours is mine and what is mine is yours. Lisa is no more your problem than she is mine. She is actually more my problem because you don't need to stress. Stressing is bad for the baby."

"I know. I just don't want her to be here right now or at all, and I'm no use to the pack, and I just don't know what to do."

I'm full on crying now.

"Hey, you're keeping this pack together right where you are standing. Don't underestimate yourself."

His voice is so calming and it makes me tired to a small degree.

"It is almost lunch time. Why don't you eat before everyone bombards into the kitchen, then take a nap baby?" he coos at me.

"But I have to make lunch."

"I can do it."

"No I will," I stubbornly say.

He sighs will throwing his hands up into the air to signal a surrender.

"Fine. Whatever the momma wants, the momma will get."

I smile at my triumph.

Luna, Alpha, the ultrasound is scheduled the same time as lunch. Is this okay or would you rather do it some other time? I can easily change it to a different time. And if you wonder about lunch, Jasmyn said that she can make some mean sandwiches if needed. James asks.

Before I have any time to say anything, Christian tells him that the time is perfect and couldn't be any more perfect. I grumble a few words of where he can kiss me. I hear him chuckle as I get up to go the doctor's office that is right down the hall. He easily catches up to me.

"I would gladly kiss you there and anywhere else you would even remotely want me to," he whispers seductively into my ear.

I stop moving and turn around and he starts to laugh uncontrollably.

"I don't think anyone can blush any more than what you are right now! You are so pink in the cheeks!"

He emphasizes the word so. I turn back around and storm off. I don't know why it made me so upset, must be hormones. That's at least what everyone else blames it on. Christian suddenly pops up in front of me.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

I look into his puppy dog eyes and smile. There is no way I could ever resist him.

"Fine," I whine.

His smile makes his entire face glow. He takes my hand and we enter the doctor's office together, as an Alpha and Luna should.