if you're reading this..

unhealthy coping

I down a bottle and hope I'll find the answer at the bottom.
I'll think about the consequences in the morning tomorrow.
Right now, I don't care, just trying to get you off my mind.
I don't care how long it takes, I got nothing but time.
but the drunker I get the more I contemplate calling.
Why the hell didn't you catch me when you knew i was falling?
So many unanswered questions dance around in my brain.
Can't tell if I'm just an alcoholic or if I have finally gone insane.
But I'm not your problem anymore, I'm on my own,
And the only time you needed me was when you felt alone.
Never once have I ever turned my back on you, or turned you away.
And ever since I laid eyes on you, I have regretted that day.
When I ask you why, you're at a loss for words and have nothing to say,
I shouldn't have to convince you that you should have stayed.

I would of been better off without you, or at least safe and sound,
I trusted you to save me, but instead you let me drown.
And really, it's alright, it's not like you're impaired, I had no impact.
But when you left me, you could have left my heart intact,
You didn't have to rip it out and play with it to make me remember you,
Cuz now I'm sitting in an empty corner crying in a dark room,
I turn down anyone and shut all people away when they try to get close,
I thought we were just playing when I said I loved you the most.
I see now that was the most honest part of this relationship.
you hurt me, and still the thought of you and someone else makes me fucking sick.
I get it now, this was all a wager, some sick game in your head,
But next time you want to have fun bet on your own heart instead.