~After the Rain~ (Soramafu)

A Bright Flash On The Sky

As I looked to the cats I realized that, like the other times, my eyes swoll and I continually sniffed. I had ignored it all the times before, because I thought it was just a cold that would pass quickly. But I was wrong and this time it was much worse than the other times. I felt like my throat tied up and I couldn't breathe normally. I was really scared and tried harder to breath, but that didn't work out at all. Soraru shouted something to Kain and Sou. I didn't get what he said. I didn't realize what exactly happened around me, but I could guess that they called an ambulance. I was really not in the condition to think about this and the only thing I did in my fear was to reach out for Soraru's sleeve and grab it.

He looked really worried at me and I saw the same fear in his eyes that was in my heart. I really thought I would die because of this and at that time I didn't even know why I felt so sick.

At this moment I felt that Soraru hugged me and stroke over my back. If we hadn't been in this situation, this would probably have been the happiest moment in my life. Sadly, I felt too sick to feel happy about this, but I realized something. If I died Soraru never would know what I felt towards him. This thought was really depressing. I mean, even if it could destroy our friendship, not telling him is much worse. If I imagine that I could die while he said something like, "I love you, too." I surely weren't scared of the death anymore. Even though I really preferred living.

So I decided to collect my last breath and tell him how I felt. "Soraru", I took a deep breath and looked at him with an honest and at the same time strained gaze. "I love you." He looked as surprised as someone who saw a flying pig. I think I just destroyed our friendship. Even if he said something after that, I wouldn't have realized, because I already passed out.

As I stepped out of the hospital, I saw Kain and Sou standing there. Alone. Soraru wasn't there. I felt a bit disappointed but also relieved that I didn't have to speak to him now. It surely would have been awkward. So I walked to them and they immediately asked me lot of questions. I explained that I was just allergic to cats and that it wasn't that serious. The doctor said that it was good that they called the ambulance so fast and because of that I thanked them. "I'm really glad that I don't have to stay there. I don't like hospitals at all." I smiled a bit as I said that.

"I'm" Kain started to speak, "really relieved that it wasn't something too serious and that you are fine." He smiled at me. I smiled back, but my gaze slowly went to Sou. He looked bothered somehow. At the moment he realized that I was looking at him, he forced a smile and said, "It was really surprising that..." he stopped and his smile faded, "that you told Soraru that you love him." When he finished his sentence he turned around and walked with fast steps away. I was totally confused by this reaction. Kain realized much faster what happened just now and followed him right away.

They weren't that far away when Kain stopped him and started to say something to him in an angry tone. I didn't get what they talked about. The only thing I heard was that Sou said, "I love him and I can't do anything against it! This jealousy destroys me! I can't take it..." He trembled a bit as he said that, but I couldn't say if it was because he was angry or sad. This day couldn't get more confusing that it already was. Who did Sou love? Me? Soraru? Was he jealous of me or of Soraru? But my question was answered at the moment Kain said, "He stands right here and you are here with him! You are the one who is by his side now, not Soraru! Don't waste your time with pitying yourself. Try to make him love you. Show him that you are better than Soraru!"

I thought at that moment I shortly forgot how to breath. Sou loved me? I was such a fool. I haven't only destroyed my friendship with Soraru, I hurt Sou too. I felt how tears were running down my face. I felt so lost. How should I make things right again? I didn't know. Could we spent time like before? I didn't think so. I started to cry harder as I realized what I did with my thoughtless action at the café.

Suddenly Sou hugged me and I looked at him confused again. I hoped that this week wouldn't continue like this. That was just too much for my brain. I still sobbed a bit as he whispered, "It's alright. Don't worry too much." He turned around and walked away. I was still a bit confused, but his action comforted me a bit and I wiped away my tears, while I was watching him leave.