Bill was walking his daughter to school one day, dreaming of sogging chips. His daughter was dreaming of Harry Styles. He had so much to do, like picking up Cheerio's and farting on his bed while watching the Telenovelas he never understood. As he reluctantly waved his daughter goodbye for school, her daughter ignored him and pretended he was a rock. Oh, silly daughter. Just then a tall, slim, beautiful woman caught his sights. She had coarse, strawberry-blonde hair and wore the deepest lipstick, even deeper than the Mariana Trench. He walked by quickly before he saw the wrinkles around her forehead and mouth that would make him toss and turn in his sleep.
Melissa was suspicious. She saw him staring off into space and knew it wasn't for her. So, she took out her pink, fuzzy unicorn diary and began to write.
Dear diareh,
I waz cleaning da countahs when Bootiful Bill came intah mah house. He waz lukin' off intah spaice and tinkin bout meh i tink. I luv im SMH
Luv ya,
Melissah
Hallo. I hope you like this story and listen to it when your car radio is stolen. plz vote
