Alone

30

Something happened to me and people are starting to notice. I haven't said a word to anyone and whoever would try to talk to me, I would always glare at them or ignore them, like Enid, she's been trying to talk to me since she got back. She helped Glenn and Maggie. The day that Carl almost died made me realize something: I've always been the one who got hurt, I always thought I was the one who would always get hurt or I would be the one to die first. It's changing me and it's changing Carl too, he's becoming colder, but I haven't seen him around lately, I don't know why, but I've been trying to avoid, I mean I know why but it's complicated. I was out by pond (they took out all the bodies and burned them) reading a book I found in Deanna's little library, The Magicians by Lev Grossman. I was almost done with it, just one more chapter and I would move on the 2nd book, but I heard someone call out for. I sighed knowing who it was. I close my book and turned around to see Carl and Avie coming toward me. I get up and wait for them to finally get over to me.
"We're going outside the wall, come on." Carl said, and starts walking towards the wall. I look at Avie and she shrugs. We follow Carl and I see Enid sitting down in the gazebo writing. I stop making them stop. I go over to her and once she noticed me she quickly put her notebook down.
"We're going outside the wall, want to come?" I asked, she looked at me surprised, she nodded her head and got up.

Once we got over the wall, we followed Carl into the woods. No one said anything as we walked through the woods. I don't know where Carl was taking us.
"Look." Enid said, pointing at a deflated balloon. She went over and picked it up, it had a bag with a note inside hanging on it. She took it out.
"What's it say?" Avie asked.
"It got wet. It's all gone." Enid said.
"Come on." Carl said, and we continued walking.
"It doesn't look that old." Enid said, walking with us, but still looking at the note.
"I mean, we can't read what they wrote, but just by doing this, they're saying something."
"What?" Carl asked.
"'We're not alone.'" She chuckled.
"We knew that." Carl said
"We saw it. People died."
"Why are we coming out here?" Enid asked.
"'Cause we're kids. It's what they do." Carl said, like it was obvious. I shake my head and sigh.
"We're not kids anymore." I said. Carl looks back at me and look forward again. As we continued to walk in silence, I realized where we were going; we're going to that hollowed out tree Enid found. As we got there I went inside the hollowed tree and sit down. I took out my book and continued reading it. Everyone else sat by the fallen tree. After finishing the book, and having nothing else to do since I forgot to bring the 2nd book, I stared at the blue sky. I don't know why but it felt calming. Suddenly I heard leaves rustling. My head snap in the direction it came from. I got up and took my knife out. I got out from the tree and see Enid and Avie coming over to me. Carl had his gun out and was looking through the tree line. I saw two figures walking. It was Michonne and Spencer. What are they doing out here?
"It was just Michonne and Spencer." Carl said.
"What were they doing?" Avie asked standing next to me. Carl put his gun back in his hostler.
"Walking. I don't know." He said sitting back down. I went over to grab my book from the ground.
"I don't want to come out here anymore." I heard Enid say quietly. I look back and see Carl getting up. HE looks back at me and motions me to grab his hand. I go over to him and grab it, hesitating at first. Carl noticed that. We walked through the woods again, this time heading back to camp. All of our heads snap as soon as we heard a low snarling. Carl let go of my hand and takes out his knife, he slowly walked over it, with us following behind him.
"Carl." Enid called out.
"Michonne's out here. I'm not leaving it." Carl said, and he whistled. As the walker started close to us, my eyes widen. It was Deanna. I could feel my face turn into a frown. I gripped the book.
"Hey, come on." Carl called out for it. Enid and Avie started to panick.
"What are you doing?" Enid asked, sounding scared.
"Come on." Carl said, ignoring her. I whistled calling it over too.
"Fatima! What are you doing?" Avie asked.
"Stop." Enid said.
"Just go." Carl said.
"We should kill it." Enid said. I look back at her and see her taking out her knife.
"Go home." I said quietly. She looks at me like I was insane.
"No." She says.
"Enid -"
"This is bullshit. It should be dead." She said, I go in front of her and Carl grabs her arm.
"Let go and move out of my way." Enid says to the both of us.
"Just leave." Carl says. She stares at Carl with disbelief. I felt something grab my shoulder and pull me. Carl pushes Enid away and grabs me, pushing the walker to the ground and pulling me behind him. He looks at me mentally asking me if I was okay. I nodded.
"You're not killing it." Carl said to Enid.
"What the hell is wrong with the both of you?" Enid asked.
"You wouldn't understand." Carl said. I look back at Enid and she looked at me hurt and with disbelief. I shake my head.
"Just go home." I said quietly. Enid shakes my head and runs off. I motion Avie to follow, she nods and starts running after Enid.
"You should go home too." Carl said. I look back at him. He still had the walker on the ground.
"Shut up." I whispered. I turned back around, this time taking out my knife. It was silent expecting for the walker growling.
"Where have you been going at night?" Carl asked.
"I've been circling the wall." I said.
"Why?" He asked. I shrugged.
"I don't know." I said. He doesn't say anything.
"That was a little harsh." I said, looking at him. He shakes his head.
"She wasn't listening to me." Carl said, angrily. I sighed and roll my eyes.
"Carl, stop acting like -"
"Like what?" He yelled angrily, looking back at me.
"Like me!" I yelled back with anger filling my face. He looked taken back, but still mad. I shake my head.
"Fatima, I was shot in the eye," He yells. The walkers starts growling louder.
"I almost died!"
"You don't think I don't know that?" I asked lowering my voice.
"I was there."
"But you weren't." Carl said. I gaped
"What is that suppose to mean?" I asked.
"You weren't there when I woke up," He said with anger filling his voice. I look at the ground defeated.
"You didn't come to see for all that week, everyone else did, but you. Why?" He asked. I sighed.
"I didn't want to see you." I said, still looking at the ground. I could feel my heart pounding.
"You weren't suppose to get hurt." I could feel him looking at me with confusion. Tears started filling my eyes.
"I - I always thought I would be the one who got hurt or you would out live me..." I was holding back the tears.
"But I was wrong," I looked up at him.
"Seeing like this - like that... hurt." He doesn't say anything. I look at the ground.
"I'm gonna go." I said, and before he could say anything, I ran off.

It had gotten dark out, I was walking around the wall again. I haven't talked to Carl and I also haven't seen him. Ever since I stopped going home at night, I haven't gotten much sleep. I would sometimes see outside. I'm an idiot, I know. I honestly don't know why I circle the wall, I guess it just clears my head. I sat down against the wall and took my flashlight and start reading the 2nd, The Magician King. I heard walking coming from in front of me, I quickly shine my light on what or whoever it was. It was Carl. I sighed and go back to reading my book.
"What are you reading?" Carl asked sitting next to me.
"The Magician King." I said.
"What's it about?" Carl asked. I shake my head and put my book down.
"Carl, what do you want?" I asked. He sighs.
"I'm sorry for what I said -"
"Don't be, I'm the one who should be apologizing, I left you. I'm sorry." I said looking at my shoes. It felt weird not wearing boots. Carl grabbed my chin and turned my head toward him and kissed me.
"You know I love you, right?" Carl asked. I nodded.
"I love you, too." I said smiling. I got this weird feeling I've never felt before. Carl and I stared at each other. I slowly move in to kiss him and he does the same. It started out slowly, but we ended open making out. Carl started tugging on my shirt. I take my shirt off.
"Are you sure?" Carl asked. I smiled and nodded.
"Yes."

To confirm it, yes they did it. You're welcome. Anyways I forgot to mention, I started working and I sometimes won't have time to write cause I work for 9 to 6 so that's 10 hours, I don't work on the weekend though so I'll try to upload something every weekend. ~ Poppy
Ps. I was so uncomfortable writing that lol