funny jokes, insults, comebacks and more!!

50 awesome comebacks!

(Phone ringing)… Excuse me it's your village, they want their idiot back

A mud pack is good for the complexion. I suggest you leave it on.

About as sharp as a shoelace

After many hours of study, research and observing you we have come to a conclusion… You're thick.

Ah! Your gonna run over me! Oh sorry, you're so big I mistook you for a car

Ahhhhhhhhhh! It's Leatherface! Oh no wait it's you

All day I thought of you…I was at the zoo.

All of your ancestors must number in the millions; its hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.

All the branches fell off your family tree when you were born

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

Any more up yourself and you'll be inside out

Anything that is not you is attractive to a woman

Are those your tits, or did Laurel and Hardy leave you their heads?

Are you a moron, or are you possessed by a retarded ghost?

Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?

Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?

Are you sure you're a human? Cause last time I checked humans don't have scales.

Are your parents siblings?

Ass

At your speed you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.

Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.

Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul.

Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing.

By some strange chance, are your parents cousins?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Can I borrow your face? My arse is on holiday

Can you turn around I'd like to see your face… wait, that's not your ass?

Careful with that joke, it's an antique

Close your mouth! Crap is coming out of it.

Come again when you can't stay quite so long.

Did your parents have any children that lived?

Do you go to the zoo for a family reunion?

Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?

Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.

Don't get lost in thought; you'll be a total stranger there.

Don't go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know you've got a palm.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks so

Don't let your mind wander… it's too small to be let out alone.

Don't say things like that; it just makes you sound stupid. In fact, don't talk at all. It just makes you sound stupid.

Don't try so hard, I couldn't like you any less.

Don't worry, you're just upset that your hair is straighter than you.

Don't you ever get tired of having you around?

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling —- in your skull?

Don't you have other things to think of? Oh! I forgot! Your brain capacity is too small for you to be able to think!