After Winter - Harry Styles [Wattys 2013]

Chapter Twenty-Three

~Emily~ 

"Emily, wake up." I groaned, eyes still shut tightly as I felt someone shaking me awake. I grunted once more, turning to the opposite side as I pushed the person's hand away. I didn't want to wake up. At least not this time.

The person was persuasive, though. She managed to still shove me repeatedly until I had fluttered my eyes open, only to see Jill's hazel eyes staring down at me. I sat up, examining the frown creasing on her face as I wondered what was wrong.

"Why do you look like someone just rejected you or something?" I teased, trying to lighten up the dark aura that has taken over her. But she refused to lighten the mood up, her frown only increasing as she looked at me with so much sadness. She heaved a deep breath, forcing out a smile as she chucked me the clothes she had gotten from Harry's flat.

My eyebrows quirked, "You actually got this?" I said in disbelief, examining the pile of clothes I owned as she evaded my gaze, hearing a hum of assurance coming from her. I looked at her, pushing the clothes away, my focus solely on her.

"What's bothering you, Jill?" I asked slowly, afraid to push any of her buttons. Ever since I woke up today, she's been acting all uncomfortable around me. Like, something actually happened back in Harry's flat. My lips were pursed in a tight line as I waited for her to speak up.

She looked at me with so much grief; like someone just died before her eyes. But as quick as I noticed the look she gave me, she masked it with something else. She forced out a smile, "Nothing's bothering me. It's just... Harry wanted me to give something to you." She spoke softly, her hand tugged securely behind her back.

My head perked, "What is it?" I asked, curious as to why she wasn't straight forward with me. She sighed as she handed me the item, my breath hitching as I remembered exactly what it was. It was the pillow Harry had given me back when we arrived here nearly a month ago, the quote still appealing as it was ever since I had received it.

Just like that, memories came flooding in my mind. All the childish antics he possessed and how he looked amazing without that much effort every time I had my eye on him. I enjoyed how there are times when he would act so funny and childish at the same time intimate and endearing when it came to me.

But most of all, what struck me the most was the fascination that's been haunting me ever since the night in the rooftop. The fascination of him saying he was in love with me and how his lips crashed on mine. It was so surreal, I almost wished it happened.

I shook the thoughts away, Jill snapping me from my reverie as she called me, "Are you alright, Ems?" She asked slowly, examining my expressions carefully. A small smile tugged on my lips as I shook my head, feeling tears brimming in the back of my eyes.

She looked at me with grief, squeezing my hand with reassurance, "Everything will be alright, okay? I know you're having difficulty because of Harry and the case filed against the one who stabbed you, but just remember that after all this, everything will be perfectly fine." She said calmly, looking like nothing in the world is bothering her as of the moment.

I wanted to believe her. I wanted so badly to believe that everything will indeed be alright as time passes, but I couldn't dare believe it. I can't believe it because I know that nothing is so sure right now. I know that what Harry and I had will never come back and I hate how I keep blaming myself for everything.