After Winter - Harry Styles [Wattys 2013]

Chapter Twenty-Nine

~Emily~

"If you love Harry wholeheartedly as you tell me, then tell me to stay away from you." He taunts and he knows I can't muster any willpower to do that. He knows I can't tell him to do exactly just that and the fact that he has me right where he wants me is very frustrating; especially in my part.

I stood frozen, my hand clutching my bag firmly, my back facing him. I could almost picture the growing smirk on his face at the way I reacted to his dare, knowing fully I couldn't do what he wanted me to do. I close my eyes tightly, my fists clench as I turn to face him.

"Why are you making me do this?" I ask softly and his well-known smirk fades in a second. He frowns, his eyebrows creasing at my statement. 

He doesn't bother to reply so I urge myself to continue, "Why do you want me to choose between you and Harry? The both of you mean so much to me and you can't possibly expect me to choose between two of the most important guys in my life." I say and I swear I see his face soften even for just a second.

He huffs, looking at me with sincere eyes, "I'm not making you choose, Emily. I'm making you realize. Think about it. If you love him just as much as you tell me - then why are you here? Why did you walk out when you realized the song was for you? Why would you even bother going with me when you're alone with Harry?" He says and I become lightheaded with thoughts clouding my mind continuously.

"I came here because you're my friend and-"

"-No."  His voice raises and I jump in shock, taking a step back as I feel fear engulfing me at the sight of Louis. His fists are clenched as well as he tries to calm himself, squeezing his eyes shut before opening it to look at me once more.

"I know what you're doing, Ems. And I'm sorry but whatever you do, you can never bring my friendship with Harry back. No one can, not even you." He says and his last words pang painfully in my chest as I watch him go back to the park, shoulders slumped in defeat and aggravation.

I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration, cursing at myself for even complying to this "friendly hang-out" with Louis. I huff before turning around and heading towards the main driveway, my grip firm on my bag.

I don't know what stung more; the fact that Louis made it clear that I don't love Harry wholeheartedly, or the fact that nothing, not even I could mend the broken friendship him and Harry have established. Everything came down to one particular reason: Me.

I'm the reason their friendship met its certain downfall. I'm the reason behind Harry and Louis' continuous banters. I'm the reason their friendship is nearing the end of its existence. My mind searched for a possible solution to is undefined mess but failed miserably. I couldn't possible fix a friendship that doesn't want to be fixed. I couldn't force myself to try to fix something that can't be fixed.

How are Jay and Anne gonna react when they find out? How are they gonna react when they find out their sons stopped being friends all because of a naive girl who fell in love for her best friend? A naive girl who isn't even certain if she is, in fact in love with her best friend.

No. I told myself, I love Harry. 

It is true, anyways. I do love Harry; more than he will ever know. But how can I assent to something that is highly doubtful? How can I prove I love Harry wholeheartedly when I left him in his flat alone with just one call from Louis?

I shake my head vigorously, pushing the thoughts aside, walking briskly as soon as I spot a sign that leads me back to where Harry's flat resides. I love Harry. I really do. But what if the kind of love I have for him does not conform to the kind of love I make myself believe that I have for him? This is all too confusing and I stop myself from going any further the moment I lay my eyes on the lobby of the complex building.