Mental

Chapter 2

"I think that's everything," I spoke softly.

"Okay," was my mother's only sentiment before she turned and walked out of my room, closing the door behind her.

'Alone again.'

I sighed. Today was the day I moved into my dorm room in college. It's August now. After the news of my father's death, time seemed to move like it was on crack.

His funeral was in December. Many people came and gave their condolances. After that, the rest of the semester flew by, and before I could think it was May. Graduation day. I was number 10 in my class, but that still wasn't enough to get my mother to show up.

'She wouldn't have came even if the circumstances were different,' I thought bitterly.

My mother had been different since my father died. She was never the most nurturing woman, but now I barely even get a look from her. She's basically an alcoholic recluse now.

To say I feel guilty would be an understatement. The fact that it was my body that killed him made me feel like shit. It didn't matter that it wasn't my mind that killed him.

It didn't help that Aiyanna replayed the moment she killed him over and over. She didn't kill him quickly. She made him suffer. She made sure that his final moments were filled with nothing but agony and despair.

I haven't slept in days. Whenever I try to, all I can see is my body burning. I hate to say it, but I know that it's in Hell.

Obviously I never told anyone of this. I wanted to, truly, I did. But I would either be in prison or in an institution right now if I had. So, I kept my mouth shut and carried on normally.

Now here I am. In college. I had turned eighteen in June and decided to go to university out of state. Acacias University in Miami had offered my a full academic scholarship, and the campus was beautiful, so I took it.

Jermaine had gotten a basketball scholarship to a University in Texas, so I was truly here alone.

I didn't mind though. This felt kind of like a fresh start. I was plannibg in taking full advantage of it.

'Of course you don't mind being here alone with no one to recognise you. You can get all the dick you want and not have to hide it! Of course, you wouldn't have to hide anything anyway. Nobody loves you.'

"Shut the fuck up!" My voice cracked a little. "I have people to love me! You don't! You're not even--"

"Are... Um. Are you okay?" I heard a soft voice ask.

I turn my head to the door to see a boy who is around my height and build with a slightly darker and smoother complexion. He had a head full of hair pulled into puff on top of his head.

'Damn. He's beautiful,' I thought before replying.

"Yeah. Uh... Yeah. I'm fine. Just having a moment." I spoke quickly while fixing myself up. I felt the need to look presentable in front of him. "I'm Kyrie. You must be my roommate?"

He sat his things down on his bed on the other side of the room. "Yeah. I'm De'Nari. Nice to meet you."

"You too," I responded. "Sorry about what you walked in on. I talk to myself and stuff sometimes. It's a nervous habit." I start to unpack my things as I start a conversation.

"It's fine." He begins unpacking his things as well. "I do that too. It's a good stress releif, sort of." He smiles at me as he talks. His voice is soft but masculine at the same time. It fits his gorgeous face.

'Damn, Kai. It looks to me like you have a little conpetition. How could you compete with that. He's so beautiful and soft and pure looking. What nigga would even look at you after he seen that.'

As Aiyanna talked I started to feel inklings of jealousy creep into my heart. It got so strong that I zoned out of my and De'Nari's conversation. I supressed it as best I could, but it didn't go away fully. I don't know what it is about Aiyanna, but she just has a way of getting under my skin, into my brain.

Despite her attempts at trying to get me to dislike him, I liked De'Nari. He was a cool and laid back person. He told me he was from Detroit and that he was raised by a single father. He did okay in high school, but that will probably benefit him now.

He was gay too. That wasn't hard to believe. He was just so pretty.

"My father was uneasy about it. He doesn't think it's right, but he wants to try and understand me because I'm his only child."

"That's really great," I spoke. But, I didn't speak. It was my voice, but I wasn't speaking. "I wish I could come out to my mon, but I don't think it would be that nice. She's too set in her ways."

'What the fuck?! I didn't say that? Did I?'

'Of course you didn't. I did.'  Aiyanna said with a little giggle.

Da'Nari spoke before I could comprehend what she said. "Damn. I'm sorry. It must have been hard growing up around that. At least now you can relax and be yourself now." He smiled at me and grabbed my hand. It made my heart warm for a second.

"Yeah. Righr," I mumbled. I looked at my phone and saw that it was alnost midnight. "We should go to bed. We have orientation in the morning."

"Yeah. I guess. Do you mind if I use the shower first?" he asked getting off the floor and stretching.

"Go ahead."

"Thanks." He got all his things together and went into the bathroom. I heard the shower start running a minute later.

My mind went back to how Aiyanna managed to completely override my control and speak for me. She dragged me out the fucking closet! I wasn't even sure I liked men all the way.

'Oh honey. Stop trying to deny it. You're a homo. The sooner you admit it, the sooner we can find someone to satisfy your dick cravings with 8 inches in your guts.' Her voice was so loud in my head it rattled my brain. I got an instant migrane.

I sat there on tge floor in a sort of transe. Aiyanna had never been this way before. She never was able to over power me or my control. Age shouldn't be able to. She's a figment of my imagination!

It was at that moment I felt it. That feeling. When you know something is only going to go downhill.

An omen.

'I can really start to play tomorow...'

******************

I finally updated! It takes a lot for me to get in the nood to write. Vote and comment.

Should I do character photos for this book?🤔