This Long Distance Is Killing Me

This Long Distance Is Killing Me- Chapter 1

A/N: hey guys!:)..okay soo..I'm glad people are enjoying this so far!:)..if you have any comments please leave them! I really actually like this Jalex fanfic better:)..haha

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Jack's P.O.V~

After telling Rian and Kara, I'm back in the car for the third time today. I didn't know how well Rian would take it, but he took it surprisingly better than I imagined would happen. But for Kara, she brokedown which made me even sadder on this thought. She wished me her best wishes and to stay safe, and left the room before I had a chance to reply. Rian also wished me luck and spent like 30 minutes on how he will miss me and how I would promise I'd keep in contact as much as I can. Of course I will keep that promise to the best I can, I don't really know how much I can communicate with them when I leave..I don't even know if I'll be able to talk to any family members or anybody. And that makes my stomach drop, I always have talks with Alex at night, we always go over our future plans, how when Alex graduates college in a year, that we're going to find a place together. But after I leave, he's going to have to do it himself. How could I be so careless about anything else around me?

I close my eyes, leaning my head against the cool window pane. I'm nervous to say the lest, well more than nervous, I'm straight up fucking terrified on how Alex will react. He may get up and say we're finished, erase me from his life and move on. Or he can breakdown and beg me to stay, that I can't leave him like this. That we have so much ahead of us we have planned that he can't do himself. Those thought makes my heart clench. I take a deep breath through my nose and exhale out my mouth. I feel a jolt of the car stopping and that's when I finally open my eyes to Alex's friends house he's staying at until he can afford an apartment for himself.

Me and Zach make our way up the walkway to the front door, taking a half step forward and extending my slighty-shaky hand, I ring the doorbell hearing it echo throughout the house behind the wooden door. I step back when I hear the slight pitter patter of running coming from somewhere inside the house before the door is ripped open and I'm engulfed in a hug. With a smile on my face I hug back before entering the way too familiar home, toeing off my shoes and following Alex into the den and onto a couch before snuggling into my side. Zach takes a seat in the recliner that he calls his own.

"So Jacky why'd you come over?" I hear the boy cuddled into my side pipe up. I look down to see a bright smile and questioning eyes awaiting some sort of answer. Taking a deep breath in and letting it out I find myself stuck. Should I tell him now? Or wait for an escape to say so? I can't see the sight of my Alex breaking down in front of me. Him begging on his knees crying, heart breaking into a million shattered peices that I won't be able to pick up and reasmble..I close my eyes and shake away my thoughts deciding to wait till later to talk about it.

"Well I just wanted to see my Lexy.." I say with a smile present on my face. Squeezing the smaller boy molded into my side like a peice of artwork. I catch a stern look from where Zach is seated but as soon as it comes it's disappeared into a bright smile.

"So Lex how's the college work coming along?" Zach asks leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees looking at Alex. I feel Alex sit up and ramble on with Zach about college, and how he's so excited to leave and get an apartment with me to start our little family. As Alex and Zach mingle I fade into the background and drown out all my senses with my thoughts.

What will happen to me over in Irag? How will Alex ACTUALLY react to this? Will he be able to survive without me by his side to protect him from the fears of life?

Sighing to myself I bring myself out of my outrageous thoughts and include myself in Zach and Alex's conversation.

This is going to be one long visit, I think to myself.

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A few hours into Zach and I's visit, I find myself in the kitchen with Zach getting drinks. I know why he came in here with me, was to coax me into telling Alex finally when I have had many windows of opportunity. I'm terrified of the result, but I have to.

"Jack, you gotta tell Lex before it's too late..you can't hide this no matter how much you really want to." Zach whispers to me as we walk back into the living room sitting back down in our original spots(mine next to Alex with him curled into my side) and watching the not so interesting flashing images on the tv screen lighting up the room with it's glow. I shift in my seat so I face Alex on the couch. I look at Zach over his shoulder seeing him nod before I say the six words that will break my little Alex's heart.

With butterflies chewing up my insides, I blurt out, "Alex, I'm going into the Army..".

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A/N: WOAH IT'S ME AGAIN!!:D haha well school has been holding me back from wattpad :/..well yeah :) I hope you like this!!:)