Star Crossed Lovers

~Chapter 7 - Micah~

The night of the wrap party and I was so nervous. I just did not know how it was going to be between Sophia and I. The unknown was always the hardest. We as human go over it and it until it depresses us. And right now, that was pretty much what I was feeling. It made me feel so insecure about the whole thing. I hate feeling that way; so unsure about myself, about her, and about everything.

The worst thing about it, I kept replaying over and over what happened at our last meeting. It was agonizing watching her heart break into millions of pieces because of me. I let myself imagine what it would be like to see her again.

One scenario, I imaged her walking up to me and throwing her drink in my face telling me to fuck off. Which she'd have every right to.

The second scenario, we would laugh it off and be friends. Everything would go back to being as it was before it got complicated. I wanted so much for it to go back before it was complicated. That was just wishful thinking.

The third Scenario, we'd never see each other again. Fuck that. I didn't want that to be the end of this, whatever it was happening between us.

Then there was the fourth and the one I wanted most of all, but I knew it will never happen. That we get together and move on and be happy together. A guy could dream, couldn't he?

Yeah, I know I ended it. I had a wife with a baby, but that did mean I had to stop caring altogether. Did it?

But back to reality! No matter how hard we would try, it was going to be awkward. I suppose that was to be expected when two people fall in love that isn't supposed to. Love, was that what I was feeling? What Sophia was thinking? Love...Forbidden love. Bullocks, I was such an arse to let that go...to let her go! I still was! What Sophia and I had was real. I know it now. I can't keep lying to myself no matter how hard I deny it.

I remember standing in front of the floor length mirror the night of the wrap party, I realized then how much I'd been channeling my character, Jeremiah. It seemed I picked up a thing or two from him too. I had on blue jeans, a crisp white button-down shirt, and a navy vest. There was a navy sports jacket laying on the bed to go with the outfit. And of course, my brown Madden dress shoes to complete the look.

I quite enjoyed playing Jeremiah. He was the best character I've played since I began to act. It was like I was born for the role. Our lives paralleled so much so that I could relate to him and draw upon those similarities. Even fans noticed them and pointed out how like he and I were but I always denied it. My fans knew me better than I liked sometimes. It was like they saw me and not the actor me.

Like Jeremiah, I lost my mom at a young age, but his hurt ran deeper with the hard life he'd had as a child. Though he did have a good upbringing after he was adopted, he just never felt like he fit in with his new family. That caused him to lash out and get into a lot of trouble. Jeremiah only straightened out when he started an affair with his mother's friend. She taught him things he shouldn't have known about as a teenager. I never did any of those things; however, I did get into my fair share of trouble at that age.

Being in that movie was the reason I met Sophia in the first place. It was part of the reason I broke her heart.

It was three days of torture. It was like darkness had permanently set in. The light that was Sophia, my life was gone. And I knew I'd probably never see it again. I know I could have made it up to her if I tried, but I just couldn't find the right time to do so. Shit, I think I was just scared of hurting her even more. I had to push her away. There was no other way it could have worked with me being married.

"Are we ready?" Mary had asked me from the living room.

I think that we needed to be away from the city and go back to the UK. Maybe things would be different.