Music From my Heart

Chapter 4

When we did make it down stairs to the kitchen, everyone had already left and I decided to put all the dirty dishes in the sink. I was planning on cleaning them when we got done. It was a little awkward to be eating alone with Axel, but I felt closer to him now than we ever were. Sure, we grew up together and stayed like teasing friends, but now I felt like I could easily open up to him without any problems.The first and probably only person I could trust here. It's only because most of the people here are little kids. I think Axel and I realize we won't be getting adopted any time soon. I got both of us plates made and went over to the booth table the orphanage owned.With how many kids are here, it's not a surprise it's a booth and not a normal table. I sat the plates down and slid to sit next to Axel. He seemed a little gitty and made me feel a little uncomfortable. I began eating slowly glancing over at him smiled nervously. He seemed like a kid in a candy store. He was so energetic it was almost cute. I smiled a little at him as the awkwardness and my nervous feeling faded. He looked at me smiling.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked.

"Now I can talk to you and get to know you better than I have," he said calmly and seriously.

"Im not that interesting person," I said and took another bite.

"Tome you're the most interesting person I could've met in my entire life," he said which I quickly looked at him with my eyes wide blushing. He laughed a little.

"Don'tjoke like that!" I quickly exclaimed.

"Who said I was joking," he said smiling. "I want to know about your music and your past." When he mentioned knowing about my past I felt my heart give a hard and painful pound. It felt like a punch in the chest. I coughed a little from the sudden pound of my heart and choked a little on the air in my lungs.

"What?"I managed to ask. Last thing I wanted to talk about my past. It was the hardest thing for me to talk about. I was in a state of shock for almost a year and in a mental institute trying to get over it all. I was five years old, waking up to my parents screaming in agonizing pain, and watched them get brutally murdered. I called the cops and glad they came and took the man away from me before he hurt me to badly. I have both mental/emotional scars as I do physical scars from that night. I rubbed my upper arm a little and could feel a few of the knife cutting scars from that night. It terrifies me to think about it. There's no way in hell I could ever speak of it to anyone aloud.

"So what had you so freaked out earlier?" he asked softly looking at me.

"Next question," I said nervously and a little scared.

"Ok why did you say 'leave me alone' earlier?" he asked a little confused but still wanting to know.

"Next question." I don't care if I seem like avoiding his questions or anything, but I just couldn't talk about it.

"Ok,what did he look like?" he asked. My heart gave another hard,painful pound. I knew he was talking about the guy who killed my parents.

"No!"I almost screamed then ran away to my room. It was dark and I began panicking more when I went inside and shut the door. I ended up locking it without noticing. My door lock was outside my room. The reason being was because I never needed to lock it while I was inside. Kids can barely reach my door. I grabbed the doorknob trying to open it. Foster mom was talking to Axel.

"What were you guys talking about?" she asked him kind of mad.

"I was trying to see what had her so freaked out earlier,' he said feeling guilty and scared. "I knew it was her past..." the foster mom cut him off before he could finish.

"We never ask or talk about her past, now go and calm her down since it's your fault this time," she said pointing to the kitchen door and seemed really annoyed.

Axel got up and kept his head down. "Yes maim," he said then walked outside the kitchen. Once he passed the doors he heard my crying of terror and rushed to my room. I was pounding on the door trying to get out. I felt like he was inside with me. I kept seeing him standing over me with the same creepy smiling expression and the bloody knife. It felt like the blood was actually dripping on the floor. The blood was coming from arm, I must have cut it while I was panicking. I kept crying trying to break out. "Hold on Angel!" I heard Axel on the other side of the door. He sounded serious and determined to reach me.

"Axel?"I said through crying and my fear easily heard in my tone.

"Just hold on," he said. "I'm coming in, so back up."

"I can't," I said sounding even more terrified. "He is behind me."

"Trust me Angel, he isn't really there. Just back up," he said sounding even more serious.

I slowly crawled back a little. He quickly unlocked the door and opened it. Once he seen me he got on his knees and pulled me close. He held me tightly and kindly. I cried on his shoulder. I was completely breaking down right there with him. His grip around my waist tightened a little. I wrapped my arms around him. My blood from the open got on him and quickly noticed. He let go of me and pulled to look at my wrists. Once he seen the open deep cut he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bathroom. He made me hold my wrist under the water and let the blood go down the drain with the water. I cringed a little from the stinging pain of it all. He kept it under the water.After cleaning and drying the wounds he got some bandaged and wrapped them. I looked at him scared still after he finished wrapping them.Suddenly I threw myself into his arms crying again.

"I'm so terrified," I cried.

"It's okay, Angel. You're safe now," he said wrapping his arms around me tightly. He put his head on my shoulder gently. We stayed like that until I calmed down. "Do you need to stay with me tonight?"he asked in front of my door after we got cleaned up and already for bed.

"I think that'll be too awkward," I said slightly rubbing the back of my neck.

"Ok but if anything happens tonight, just come to me," he said then gave me a quickly hug. "Promise me."

"I promise," I said as we crossed pinkies. I smiled a little at him.