Forever Second

004

It was dark and noisy. The smell of sweat and alcohol hung heavily in the air as we stepped into the living room that had been transformed into a dance floor for the night. Strobes went off as the DJ in the corner continued to spin songs I was unfamiliar with. I lost Dan in the crowd almost instantly. Undoubtedly he had already been pulled away to some dark corner to make small talk with his friends.

Unfamiliar faces swirled around me, unaware of my awkward presence in the room. I turned to Phil and saw that, he too, had been whisked away. So much for us sticking together, I thought bitterly. I scanned the room, trying to peer past the dark shapes that grinded and drank in the dark, seeking out a place to grab a drink. Unable to locate it from where I stood, I pushed through the throng of people, holding my injured wrist close to my body. Dan had convinced me to wear the brace tonight. The itchy fabric irritated my skin and only added to my increasing agitation. I needed a fucking drink stat.

I emerged into a small clearing and saw the holy land. A small table had been set up next to a wall, adorned with cups and various bottles of the sweet nectar I desperately craved. I snatched up the first bottle I saw, to hell with cups, and took a large gulp. The liquid burned my throat, forcing my eyes to water as I tried to keep it down. I pulled from the bottle again and again until the burning subsided. I could’ve been drinking water at this point and wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference. I slammed the empty bottle back on the table and picked up another. Round two. I didn’t even bother looking at what I was drinking. To be perfectly honest, it didn’t matter to me what I was drinking. All that mattered was that I was, and halfway through bottle number two I was thoroughly drunk and steadily on my way to plastered.

It was during my third long gulp from the bottle that I noticed someone standing next to me. The rapidness of which I turned my head to look at my new companion caused the room to lurch in such a way, that I had to spit what I already had in my mouth back into the bottle. Can’t let anyone else drink off that one.

“Easy there little lion. Are you trying to make yourself puke? Because let me tell you, there’s better ways of doing that.” Phil said. Of course it was Phil. His icy blue eyes stared at me, a hint of concern etched into the corners. He was smiling at me, something that I attributed to the red plastic cup in his hand.

“Speak for yourself lion man.” I slurred back at him, pointing to his cup with the neck of my bottle. I accidentally let some of the liquid leak out into his cup and quickly tried to snatch it out of his hand, but he was too quick for me. “You shouldn’t drink that. No. No no no. I spit in the bottle. Bad, bad Autumn.” How long had I been here? About ten minutes, and already I couldn’t speak coherently. I giggled to myself as I wondered how the rest of the night would go.

Phil pried the bottle from my hand and threw it in the trashcan where it clanked loudly against the growing pile of already discarded bottles. The sound pierced through my head making me wince. I looked at him with annoyance, wondering what the fuck he was doing. He might've said he forgave me, but I still hadn't forgiven myself, and I wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now. He set his cup down on the table and steered me over to a vacant couch, forcing me to sit next to him.

“Where the fuck is Dan?” I asked. My eyes were only halfway open at this point and it was getting harder to focus on everything happening around me. My head spun around, searching for him. I hadn’t seen him since we arrived, throwing my sudden anxiety into a tailspin.

“He’s around. Probably talking to someone. You know how he is at these parties. He walks in and leaves Dan at the door.”

“Huh?” Phil sounded drunker than I was.

“Oh you know what I mean. Everyone wants to see Danisnotonfire, not Dan himself.” I just nodded at him because I still didn’t comprehend. Really I just wasn’t paying attention. I wanted to find Dan and get the hell out of here. Phil should be angry with me, and the fact that he was sitting here pretending like nothing happened was troubling. I needed to get away before I said something else I would regret. The alcohol had made its way to my brain, amplifying everything around me to the point I couldn’t concentrate without effort. The music boomed out from all directions, and I struggled to hear what Phil was trying to say to me, catching him mid-sentence. “…So I thought that maybe you and I could—“

“What?” I yelled back loudly. The music went silent for a moment as the song changed into a slow, longing ballad. It sounded familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on where I had heard it before. The lights stopped pulsating, basking the room in a dim glow that I was thankful for.

“I asked if you wanted to dance.” Phil replied, leaning into my ear so I could hear him this time. His breath sent shivers through my body as it rolled across my neck. Despite the fact that it was a slow song, the offer sounded like water in a desert. It only took a second for it to happen, but in that second I forgot all about my search for Dan. I turned and focused my gaze on Phil. At that moment the only thing in the world I wanted to do was dance.

I grabbed his hand and stumbled onto the dance floor, dragging him behind me. I spun quickly on my heel to face him and stumbled, sending myself careening into the couple dancing next to us. They shot me a dirty look and I muttered a quick apology while I straightened myself up. Phil pulled the hand he still held clasped in his own and led me back to him. I knocked into him, tripping over myself again. He placed his hands firmly on my waist to balance me and I responded by throwing my arms around his neck for support. I’d had enough tripping for one evening.

We moved in slow circles, side stepping in a pattern that was both comfortable and in sync. I laid my head against his chest, my forehead resting in the hollow of his neck. Inhaling deeply, I breathed in his scent, his skin smelling strongly of the scent after rain. I couldn’t get enough. I found myself relaxed in Phil’s arms, easily blocking out my previous worries about him. I had been ridiculous to accuse him of hurting himself and fighting with him like I had. I only hoped he knew how sorry I actually was, but maybe he had really forgiven me already like he said. Although I still disagreed that there were truth to my statements. 

The room around me started to spin, our dancing intensifying the dizziness occupying my head, so I closed my eyes and allowed the music to wash over me and guide my movements.

Heaven is a place on earth with you….

My eyes snapped open. I remembered. This was the song that had lulled me to sleep the night of my accident. I looked up into his eyes, surprised to find him looking back at me.

“You were playing this.” I said quietly. I couldn’t look away from him. His face was inches from mine, his lips slightly parted on the verge of a reply. The alcohol that had worked its way into my system was hindering my judgement and all I wanted to do was lean up and kiss him. Our eyes stayed locked on each other, the outside world falling away around us. We were alone on an island we had created, neither of us willing to leave.

Confusion and longing quickly coursed through me while I silently wondered why this happening all of a sudden. I pushed it from my mind with effort as I waited for him to make the first move, my body growing anxious with each passing second. He was just staring at me, looking back at me with equal confusion and something else I couldn’t put my finger on. I couldn’t handle the tension in that stare. Drawing on the courage the alcohol had given me, I wrapped my arms around him tighter, tangling my fingers in his hair as I leaned in closer.

“Autumn…”

“Shhhh.” I said softly, bridging the gap further. My lips brushed against his so softly that if I hadn’t been the one doing it, I would’ve denied that it happened at all. Before I could advance any more than I had, he pushed me back suddenly and held me at arms length. The moment shattered. A mixture of guilt and longing spread across his pale face. Horrified at what I had done, I wrenched myself out of his grip and turned away, pushing myself back drunkenly through the crowd towards the exit.

I didn’t make it very far. As I neared the door I caught a quick glimpse of bright red out of the corner of my eye, a vivid contrast to the darkness around me. Curiosity got the better of me and I looked up to see a girl making her way up the stairs, dragging a boy by the hand behind her. I smiled up at them as I watched. They looked so happy together and I selfishly wished I could be in her place, heading off to a dark room with the boy I loved. Instead I was stuck rooted to the spot, watching them, as my own boyfriend was nowhere to be found. His best friend somewhere behind me, probably on his way to tell him what a slut I was. They giggled as the boy tripped up the stairs and sent his drink flying. He turned his head slightly as he regained his balance, but it was enough to see who it was. My smile vanished, recognition taking over and draining all the color from my face. Dan.

(A/N - Hey everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter more than the last one! Let me know in the comments if you have any suggestions on something you'd like to see in future chapters! Every read, vote and comment is appreciated. -Kamelion)