nine lives.

what we've always needed.

I let out a soft sound, warm and content and very very happy with my position at the moment. I was laying on Kenma's chest, Kuroo had gone out with Bokuto and Akaashi, to a party, and he knew Kenma didn't like those. He scoffed, muttering best friend traitor and laziest boyfriend, because Kenma knew Kuroo was going out to a party, so he had come home with popcorn and three movies. We were well into our second one, the snow falling outside, and it was strange, really strange.

I had never expected to go to university, I had never expected (before hand) to live that long, and then I had turned into a cat, yeah, there was still absolutely no explanation. Kenma held me tight one night, back when we were still new at the whole getting used to and dating, it was a big step from being someone's car, and we had spoke in the early hours. He told me, sometimes, miracles happened without a reason, but they always happened for a reason, and sometimes, we couldn't explain things, and that was okay.

I didn't know what the reason was, but Kenma was drawing lazy patterns into my shoulder blade and it made me smile. I scooted closer to him, lifting my head just the smallest amount to kiss the underside of his jaw, and he shivered and his brow raised as he looked down at me. "You're affectionate."
"Was just thinking about you is all." I said, smile lazy and tired, I was to relaxed here, and he hummed, hair pushed back because he had been cleaning earlier (we both had been) and home was the one place where having too big of a field of vision didn't make him anxious. And this was our home, the tiny two bedroom apartment that Kuroo, Kenma and I lived in. Kuroo complained the whole first few months, about hearing moans through the walls and the sounds of intimacy, instantly blaming the two of us.

Turns out, it was actually the neighbour.
(Kenma and I didn't work like that.)

"What would you rate your flux today?" I asked, because we always asked each other, it was the way he knew when I was feeling strictly platonic, or the days I wanted to hold his hand, sometimes, if we were feeling brave, kisses were a must on the days where our feelings lined up.
He hummed, tilting his head to the side, and then he looked back at me, the movie playing but he smiled and pushed the hair from my face. "Affectionate."
"Which kind?"
"The romance kind." His cheeks were red when he said that, and I laughed, arms snaking around his waist and I buried my face in his chest, hearing his heartbeat increase. "What about you?"
"Hm, let me lay like this for a little bit, then I'll probably be there too." It wasn't that our relationship lacked any sort of feelings of romance, we had them, just from time to time, I'd rather lay beside him in bed and hold his hand, and sometimes, we were just friends. Others, he came home red in the face and feeling brave, myself barely getting out the words "welcome home!" before his lips were on mine. It hadn't gone anything past that, and I was more than content, I had some old scars, and we had tried once, back in our last year, and that ended up with him crying and myself having a panic attack.

We were the most amazing couple I had ever seen, and we didn't need physical intimacy to be that way.

Because after awhile, just the fact that he was feeling romantic, made me feel all warm, and my toes curled under the blanket because the air outside was cold and the snow fell, even in Tokyo. "I'm there now."
He laughed, deep and low, I could feel it in his chest because he smiled down at me, hand raising from my shoulder to play with my hair, and I turned to rest my forehead on the side of his neck. I drew patterns in his collar, the two of us having moved back to the movie, Christmas was almost here, and the night was late. "Do you want to go on a date?" He asked quietly, and my eyes widened, looking up at him with a brow raised.

This was a first, he had never called or outings a date before, and for some reason, it was kind of a solid comfort.

"It's eleven at night Kenma." I said softly, and he smiled, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close.
"I feel like a bad boyfriend, we've been together for four years...I've never taken you on a date." This was why he was feeling affectionate then, and I smiled as I raised my head to press my lips solidly against his own, fingertips pressing alongside his jaw, and he sighed against me.
"We don't do dates Kenma..." I said with a soft laugh against his lips, and I pulled back and pushed his hair from his face, our legs tangled under he blanket, and it was a kind feeling. "You're not a bad boyfriend, am I a bad girlfriend for not taking you on a date?" I pursed my lips, hands still on his face, and he leaned into the touch, I had done that once too. I had never stopped, his touch was the only thing I was ever selfish about.