Me and Older Men : Janie

Ten

"Please, Please pick up." But it rang and rang until it finally sent me to voicemail. Like all things in my life, a series of unfortunate events. The deadline he set was past due and now he refused to even allow me to explain why. I mean he had no idea. I was in the hospital but turning off his phone was a dick move and yet here I was plotting on how to make it to where he was, which I assumed was home.

Right then and there I decided to leave this place, it was just a bump in the head and I wasn't even in the ICU unit, no need to stay here when I could save what I thought I had with Janus. Good thing big buildings kept maps of emergency exits around every corner, all I had to do was find the stairs in the little map to plan my escape route. No one paid no mind when split out of the room with both my purse and shoes in hand, no one batted an eye at my disheveled state or my crazy hair. A peek to the nurse's station but one was there, either I was really lucky or movies lie to you all the time. No nurses, no Kent, just people going around doing their business but even still I was so nervous. I was afraid I would start laughing-crying on the spot like it always happens whenever I got in an uncomfortable situation.

The coast clear but I still had doubts, I kept thinking stuff like 'I'm my own boss of me and if I wanted to get out of the hospital it was my choice', but still, if Kent was around and that meant that if he saw me trying to leave he would try and stop me. I almost tripped but pretended to by starting to jog, which you aren't allowed to in places like this, with sick people! Get a grip, Janie. Either way, once I was out the main door I started sprinting. Feeling how the hard ground started to break my skin.

Never ran so fast in my life.

Jumping off the last set stairs and ran barefoot all the parking lot listening the slapping sounds of my naked feet on the pavement.

I still had enough juice in my phone to call an uber and waited at the bus stop, the adrenaline rush kept me from feeling cold and the pain I should be feeling on my naked feet. Somehow I lost one shoe and as I wiggled my naked toes I saw no use on putting on the other one. A small red line ran from my wrist to my elbow, maybe it from when I was running and hit the corner of the metal bars of a stretcher.

I sat impatiently inside the car biting my nails thinking about what I would say to him trying to ignore the burning sensation on the soles on my feet, I dreaded his reaction, mostly likely rejection but I still had to try.

I had to know where I stood.

The car had barely stopped when I jumped off and slammed the door, bye-bye 4.95 rating. I slammed my fists against his door not caring about his neighbors sleeping, I called his name and even kicked the door but no sound came from inside the apartment. Making camp in front of his door wasn't the answer, wasn't the right way to deal with this but it was this or nothing.

Setting down with my head on my hands; I was still a bit ditzy and the bump was still throbbing. Looking around me I noticed that small specks of blood had stained his welcome carpet. My feet were bleeding, that started the tears rolling, hard. The realization of this whole situation was stupid, me from not making up my mind faster and also me from letting this new guy make me so boy crazy that I was now feeling sick, all bloody and achy. An incoming worried text from Ryan made me realize that I had forgotten about him so a quick text telling him I was fine and I would call and explain in the morning.

I was so tired, I just wanted to sleep for days and forget about everything else about school, about Kent, about Jan, about everything.

After making the decision to leave after an hour sitting in front of his door I pushed myself off the floor and started limping when I heard voices coming my way. From the sound of chuckles and giggles it was most likely a couple of love birds. I was quick enough to hide on the next flight of stairs, pressing myself back to the walls trying to make myself invisible.