Jacobs Truth #6

CH 11 Knowing does not make it Easier

Jacob's POV-

Two weeks, that's all it takes before I'm not sad anymore. I'm not sad anymore because anger has taken the place of my sadness. I feel anger towards my mother, towards Rockwell and surprisingly I feel the most anger aimed at my dad. I need him here with me even with all his faults he was my ally and was always on my side. But now because he couldn't just let mom go or except the fact that Jesse is gay, I don't know if one or both caused him to loose his mind but whatever threw him over the edge doesn't matter because he isn't here. He is gone and I want him back.

All the sudden I'm blinded by the lights in m room turning on. "What the fuck?!!" As my eyes adjust to the sudden light  I hear Everett moving around my room until he is sitting on the edge of my bed. "Come on Jake you need to get up, this moping isn't doing you any good."

I sit up and glare at Everett. "I think I'm doing just fine Ev, just leave me alone." Everett glares right back at me. "Why so you can drink yourself to death some more, god damn you smell like a drunk Jake. Come on get up lets get you in the shower."

Everett pulls my sheet off me and coaxes me into a warm shower. I feel revived after I am clean but I am still a little agitated at Ev for bothering me while I want to be left alone. I walk into the kitchen and see Ev at the stove scrambling some eggs. "What are you doing here and how did you get in?" I question as I sit at the bar.

Ev plates the eggs and slides them in front of me. "Eat Jake. I'm here because you haven't even called or texted me back in two days, I was worried about you. Plus you keep your spare key under the mat on the back porch it's not hard to get in." I scoff at him as I shovel the eggs into my mouth man I didn't realize how hungry I was.

"Ok I'm definitely going to have to find a new hiding place." Everett smiles. "And make a new spare key this ones mine now." I just huff at him and he beams at me which in turns makes me smile back. "Ok I admit I missed you the last two days but shouldn't you be at work?" Ev looks at me funny for a second. "No it's Saturday babe. I usually don't work the weekends unless I'm on a case."

I nod. "So then you wrapped up Fox's case for him?" He nods. "Yeah I got his husband yesterday checking into a hotel with the new lover and got the pictures he requested so I'm all yours all weekend." Ev wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh.

"Once your done eating we need to go grocery shopping you have no food. I was lucky I even found some eggs to make." I glare at Ev. "No I don't feel like dealing with anyone just order take out or pizza I don't care." Ev huffs. "Fine for lunch we can order some pizza but you need groceries, I will go get some later but right now I just want to spend some time with you."

I nod and take my plate to the sink. "Ok let's go watch a movie or something on the couch then." Ev follows me into the living room and I hand him the remote so he can go through the movies on demand. We settle on Mad Max and its a nice easy movie to watch. Ev slowly cuddles up to me until I'm practically in his lap but I don't mind the contact it's actually very soothing.

When the movie is over I see Ev's eyes are drooping so I wait until he has fallen asleep to get up and order some pizza for lunch. While I'm waiting for our delivery I wander into my room and pull out some photos of my dad and I. One of my favorite pictures is of me on my dads shoulders. He looks so serious in it but that was his default look and I can't believe how much I miss his scowl. I trace his face on the surface of the picture as I feel tears gather in my eyes once again.

Why? I think I have asked myself that question a thousand times by now. But why would my dad snap like that? He practically held my mother hostage. All because he couldn't except Jesse being gay or was there more? Was everything in our family just falling apart and he couldn't take it? These are questions I will never get answers too. And it's really hard not to just place the blame on my mother like I want to, but I knew my dad better than anyone and if he wanted something there was nothing in the world that would have stopped him from getting it.