the road I believe was speaking to me and although I couldn't stop crying for the first hour I still remember it's whispers. my mind was drawn to the constant images of a girl with a small waist and purple painted bruises. I hated that I couldn't stop thinking of her and I despised it more that she had such a habit of control on me. yet, as for the road's phrases they were complicated.
the charcoal cracks with yellow stripes were peaceful reminding me to simply breath. I was soon hypnotized and listened to there demands of not staying addicted to the powders of the drug.
Rosemary.
but when the small specks of yellow rose from the horizon line I made a small turn to the left and went home. I called my mom earlier telling her I was staying over someone's house and found her asleep on the couch where I took the nearby blanket and covered her. I went to my room after charging my dead phone and it soon buzzed after minutes when it turned on.
the light of the flashes made the red marks on my knuckles vibrant.
god I hated everything.
I gazed over the notifications on my phone taking note of one specifically. calum called and texted. I was obviously confused but I tapped on a few buttons dialing his contact. he answered after seconds.
"where the fuck were you?" I was taken back and sighed before answering.
"I haven't talked to you in about two months and you're asking where I've been. Calum you could fuck off." I answered before the small saying brought back another memory of her. I fucking hate it.
"listen I know. fuck, listen dude." I nodded my head and laid out over my bed. "I've been acting stupid lately. I get it you really like this girl. I know what's it like but it's just the whole Leah thing that happened to me I don't want it to happen to you." it only he was quite frankly aware of the situation. yet to expand on his statement is difficult. Calum is different when it comes to girls.
the boy may not admit it but he's afraid. his parents would often argue and it was mostly his sister and him. as he grew older he never had an infatuation toward girls. he wanted to be distant and I understood that. then high school came and it was a game of pleasure only. again I understood and didn't really care.
but then there was last year.
one girl with bubbly, brown eyes moved to Australia. Calum wasn't his old self. instead his movements were filled with trepidation and a mesmerizing stares. he told me of how he ran into the girl at the beach one night alone and laid on the sand feeling absolutely lifeless. he then laid with her.
she smiled and he smiled they talked about a lot of shit. days and days passed and he finally asked the girl to see each other at the beach again. it became a common thing. the girl with hazel hair and streaks of red fell in love with the boy of chapped lips and curly hair. but as of all love stories, it crumpled down.
she was diagnosed with leukemia at the end of the school year and was forced to move with her dad back in America so he could pay for the girl's treatment. they planned many months of long distance as Calum was sure of her recovery. then the three Skype calls a day turned into one and phone calls were only once and the text messages were gone. at the end of the Summer Leah died.
Calum was mixed with regret and sorrow but most of all utter depression. he wouldn't talk, he wouldn't eat, he wouldn't sleep, and he wouldn't play. Music was a habit to Calum but there was none of that. he was locked within a bubble of his own grief. one night I found him at the beach where they laid together and I laid with him. he admitted his mind was full of screams. he told me he should've never fallen in love.
love was stupid.
love was hopeless.
love dies.
love is death.
he kept yelling and yelling until he whispered how much he missed her. that was the last night of my broken best friend. he became happy and himself again. although he says he's fine I know he will never be the same. but I'm okay with that. I always remind him; change is good. however now that your caught up, Calum has always been afraid for me. he won't let none of us go through with he went through. I respect that.
"and so I guess I'm just terrified so I freaked out. I'm sorry I just need my fucking brother back." I didn't notice but a small simper was plastered onto my face and my head moved before I could answer.
"I never left buddy." I could sense a smile through the and felt the sigh of relief as he spoke up.
"so what is this girl to you? she seems to be special." This made my skin prickle with dissatisfaction and my mouth fill of distasteful hatred.
"as of now it's complicated. but can I ask you something?" he said a yes and that caused me to take a deep breath before proceeding.
"do you think that Leah was your soulmate?"
"in all honesty?" He questioned and I agreed. "Michael I believe soulmates are real and Leah may have been mine but we get more than one chance sometimes. we are obligated to one person and that's why there billions of people in the world. but to answer your question, yeah I think she was." That made me want to die of absolute torture.
Rosemary was controlling my every movement and she didn't even know it. "Calum I think Rosemary is my soulmate and as cliche as that fucking sounds. I love her." I mumbled and he sighed.
"I am aware of this." he paused. "but why are you telling me this, tell her you asshat." I let a small chuckle escape and then all the utter happiness left once again. I felt alone.
"I can't."
"why?"
"because we fucking kissed. she kissed me and spent the night and we just talked. I fucking adore talking to her and I just feel like everything is alright when shes here and I get these goosebumps. she makes my hands shake and I hate it Calum. she's afraid. she said she doesn't want to hurt me and I don't know what that means. I just can't believe I love her. why do I love her? this is so fucking confusing. why are girls so complicated?" he laughed on the other end making myself now confused realizing that his response to my rant was ironically complicated.
"damn you've got yourself a tough one." I groaned running my hand through my hair.
"you're not helping!" I yelled and chuckled again.
"okay, okay I'm sorry. but listen I don't know a lot about this for god sakes I've only loved one person and she's literally dead. I think about her everyday. I still have her picture on my phone and everywhere in my room. but I do know one thing. Michael don't wait."
"don't think about all the possible ways to tell her you love her and don't pay attention to her words of whatever she's saying just do it. fucking tell her you love her and don't waste time. trust me. do that and you'll thank me later." I was silent at first then spoke into the speaker.
"Calum I love you." I could see his smile from my own image of crinkled eyes and a small giggle.
"okay Michael. Just get her back but hey I missed you. the whole band has." I nodded although he couldn't see.
"I missed you guys too."
"good well I'm going to leave you to sort of think all this through. I expect you with a status report tomorrow at school so I can hear all about my best friends girl." I of course agreed as he ended the call and I was faced with the inaudible silence once again and the small whispers of her voice.
so this chapter is sorta short and all but it goes into depth of calum's past but mALUM IS ALIVE AGAINNNN WHICH MAKES ME HAPPY but im sorry this was kind of boring in a way and also i apologize for not updating in awhile ive been extremely busy and stuff. but also i have been in the past very harsh to my stories.
sometimes i updated too much and it became more of a priority then a hobby and i don't want that with this story. (which I believe i said before) i want you to enjoy reading the story and i want to enjoy writing it. which i do. as i hope you like it. however i hope you have an amazing day and to always keep your head up bc i care about you :-))))
