I needed time. time to drain out the emotionless features I paint and the the shaky movements I posses. I was surged with the feeling of numbness. for what was days unspeakable thoughts turned into weeks. so I sit eyes locked on the girl that resembled an eclipse.
although it was dark she glowed of a low red. it was a limited amount of time I could stare but when I did. god, everything seemed in place. it lasted minutes but I was drawn to the overdose of sixty seconds. yet, it hurt more when her lips that were formed into a impassive look then created something more magical when he arrived.
maybe I was just a time, a place, and thing to her. the past. because her eyes were locked with his and it was unbearable. "Michael buddy you're staring." Calum whispered placing his hand against my arm. I nodded aware of my motives.
the thing was I couldn't stop staring. I despise the boy with the chipped lip and buzzcut. it seemed like he was everything to her and that was once me. "dude just get over it." Luke mumbled still gaping down at his phone.
it sparked anger and Calum could tel one my hands clenched. "Luke you fucking masturbate every second you're home with unlimited amount of porn hub but you don't see me telling you to get over it. do I?" Calum at this point almost choked on his turkey sandwich and Luke eyed me with an unsatisfied glare.
"damn alright." he said. Calum lost his laugh and soon turned his neck to look at me. I was now stuck on concentrating at the white wood engraved with the many sayings of high schoolers.
"you're okay Michael?"
"just peachy." I replied a light, plastered smile placed on my lips as I automatically regretted my false statement.
"you really expect me to believe that Mike?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"believe what you wanna believe mate." I murmured playing with a strand a fabric left from my sweater. I heard Calum sigh and put both of his hands on his temples, rubbing them frustratingly.
"I hate seeing you like this." he admitted and that caused goosebumps to appear. I didn't want someone to talk to.
"me too. you're mean when you're sad." Luke added and that made a small chuckle fall.
"I'm not sad guys. don't worry, I'm just tired." I said. I knew they wouldn't accept what I told them but it was worth a shot. I wanted to seem like myself but it was hard when she was literally there pulling at me heart.
I just wish I could tell my feelings to simply fuck off. much like she would after the first half of our friendship. "if you say so." Luke informed and I flipped him off causing a small smile to come upon his face.
the bell rang shortly after that and we rushed into classroom full of teenagers dying to leave. I knew because I was one of them. it also didn't help since this was mr. Kyla's class and he seemed to still despise me.
at least the constant glares and small sighs said he did. yet, the day went on and I tended to stay oblivious. it was the only way to keep my sanity in control. however I decided to go over to Calum's house to say I'm actually trying to do something and by something I mean stay within my ignorant stream of emotions as Ashton and Luke bicker.
conversation stayed normal for the time being and that made the vexatious movements die down to tranquility. "I think I'm dying." Luke informed his eyes drawn to the screen.
"yeah I saw the picture of Natalie too." Calum concluded knowing what exactly Luke meant.
he just so happened to have an extreme infatuation to a girl with caramel skin and and raven painted hair. but with Luke's withering confidence and the certainty of herself being friends with the most well known people in school it was unlikely for anything to happen.
