Bullshit

Chapter 3

Harrys POV:

The icy glares that Louis was giving me the bus ride to L.A made shivers run down my spine. By the time I calmed down from my sob session I was all out of tears. Even if I wanted to cry, which I did, I don't think I would be able to. 

Zayn was also sending me glares. Why? I have no idea. It might be because I was crying all night, but it could also be for totally different reason. I just shrugged it off, Zayn was the least of my problems right now. We still had another 3 months of tour left... all of which was on a small tour bus or in a hotel. I couldn't avoid Louis if I tried.

I looked out the window at all of the city lights passing by. We had just arrived in L.A and now we were waiting to get to the hotel. Everything here was so bright and noticeable, big light up signs marketing the newest fashion or make up. Things that make you look 'cooler', or get more friends. 

The bus came to a rolling stop in front of a luxurious looking hotel. I looked up at the sign. 'Hotel Bel-air'. I got up from my seat and stretched, hearing a satisfying crack sound in my back and neck, it felt good to stretch. 

The other boys got up to, Louis made sure that he avoided all possible contact with me, not once looking me in the eyes. He was acting like I wasn't even here!

I grumbled quietly and grabbed my bag, walking into the fancy lobby. We all walked up to the front desk and the lady gave us a tired smile, I don't blame her, it was midnight after all, of course she was going to be tired.

"Reservation for Micheal Smith." Liam told her.

That was the name that we used whenever we booked a hotel, we didn't want crazy fans finding out that we were staying here.

The lady looked something up in her computer quickly and smiled, handing us a key.

"Room 53." She told us.

Liam nodded and said a quick thanks before leading us to the room that we would be staying in. Liam opened the door and we all rushed in, personally I was feeling exhausted, and I'm sure everyone else was too.

"Okay, so Louis and Niall will share a room, Zayn and I will share a room and Harry you get one all to yourself." Liam said. 

We all nodded and heading off into our rooms. I let out a sigh and locked my door, I didn't want anybody bothering me right now. I went over to my suitcase and pulled out one of Louis' jumpers that I stole when I was packing pur stuff. 

I pulled it over top of me and let out a small smile, it fit me a little tight but that didn't matter. I turned off the lights and lied down in my bed and closed my eyes, happily accepting sleep.

We were cuddled up on a couch with a blanket thrown losely over us, our legs intertwined as we watched a random movie that was on.

"Boobear... do you think we'll get through?" I asked.

Tomorrow we would be finding out the results and weither or not we would move into the finals.

"I hope so Haz." He sighed.

I gulped and looked up at Louis, pressing myself tighter against him.

"L-Lou... if we don't make it through, will we ever see eachother again?" I questioned, the sadness clear in my voice.

"Of course we'll see eachother again Harry. We can even get an apartment together." He told me.

A smile instantly found its way onto my face.

"That would be awesome, I would really like to live with you." I admitted.

"Then its decided, once this is all over we'll get a flat together." He said.

"Good." I muttered, curling into Louis' chest.

Just as I was getting comforatble a deep evil sounding chuckle came from Louis.

"Ha! Please! As if I would share a flat ith a FAG like you." Louis scoffed.

I furrowed my eyebrows and got off of Louis' chest, I could feel the familiar painfull feeling in my chest again.

"W-what are you talking about... y-you just said..." I trailed off.

"I said all that before I knew you loved me." He growled.

Louis quickly stood off of the couch, and wrapped his arm around Eleanor. Wait, how did she get here?

"Yeah Harry, if you want Louis to love you, you have to look like me." She sneered.

Louis smirked and pulled Eleanor in for a heated kiss. 

I wanted to look away or close my eyes, but for some reason something was forcing me to watch their display of affection.

"Nothing will ever be the same Harry, I hate you now!" Louis told me, before kissing Eleanor again.

I shot up from my bed, cold sweat and tears were on my face and pillow. I tried to cal my breathing by taking deep breaths but it wouldn't work.

At the begining it was a nice memory from the X-factor days... but then it turned into an awful nightmare. 

I quickly took off Louis jumper and hugged it to my chest. Dream louis was right, nothing will ever be the same again. He hates me now! Once I had finally calmed down a little I looked at the clock with my blurry tears filled eyes. It was only 4 am! And we had to get up at 10. 

I was sure that I wouldn't be able to sleep again, so I slowly got out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stripped so that I was naked. My reflection in the mirror didn't look anything like me, I had dark bags under my red puffy eyes, my nose was red from all the crying, my curly hair looked greasy and was flying everywhere, I looked pathetic... which was how I felt right now.

I shook my head and walked into the shower, letting the warm water run down my body. I stayed in there for about an hour before I got out. It made me feel a little better, but I still felt like absolute shit. I slipped on a new pair of boxers and Louis' jumper before sliding into the bed again.

I closed my eyes but sleep woulsnt come, images of me and Louis cuddling, or sharing stories filled my mind. The time where we were close and happy, when he actually cared about me.

I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts, the past was the past. Now, he wouldn't even dare to think about spending an imtamite moment with me. I let out a deep sigh and curled into the bed, hugging a pillow to my chest. 

Maybe one day I'll get over him... over the pain that he caused. Although I knew that some part of me wanted to hold onto him forever, never forget about everything thats happened between us. 

But if I ever wanted to be happy, I have to.