Bullshit

Chapter 24

It was about midnight now... or was it two? I  can't remember anymore, nor do I care about the time. Nothing is worth caring about anymore, not time, not my career, not love, nothing. For now I know, that caring about anything will only lead to a painfull clench in my chest and tears down my cheeks. After all, my carreer is in shambles, bassically no one respects me anymore, and Louis is married to the 'perfect girl'. ALl hope that my pathetic heart might of held out for him is now crushed, crushed by his small, soft, adorable little hands. 

Currently I was sitting at the bar, taking sips out of my scotch as I watched everyone dance. Specifically Louis and Eleanor. They would dance extremly close to one another, and during the slow songs they would practically be hugging, her head resting on his chest. Sometimes I could see him whisper things in her ear, and she would let out a giggle. I think thats was I'm going to yearn the most for. The little things. I want those whispers in my ear, or the light touxhes across my skin. I want him to call me, just to make sure that I was doing okay.

Quickly I shook my head and downed the rest of my scotch, slamming it down on the counter. No, I couldn't think like that. I was trying to make Louis' life better, and I cant do that if I'm miserable. When I'm sad then Louis' feels guilty, and I don't want Louis to feel anything but love and happiness. 

"Another." I told the bartender, wiping my lips from the excess scotch. "But no ice this time."

The women gave me a worried look and took my glass, dumping out the leftover ice that was in the glass. I could understand her worry, I've already had four. Not to mention the five glasses of whine that I had before I ventured over to the bar. She filled it anyway though and placed it down in front of my, making sure to use the coaster. I drunkenly took out my wallet and grabbed two hundred, placing it in front of her. 

"Here, keep the change darling." I slurred. 

She picked up the money and looked at me with wide eyes. "This is over a hundred dollar tip." He said, her voice gull of surprise. 

I smacked my lips together and brifly tried to think of the math, but it ended up hurting my head to I decided to just leave it. 

"Well, you deserve it." I mumbled. "Maybe you can get a boob job!"

After that I giggled loudly. disrupting a couples conversation. The pair walked off towards a table, their faces full of annoyance and disgust. I didn't understand it? Why was everyone leaving me? By now I had driven nearly everyone away from the bar, they would either just drink some of the wine that was at the tables now, or briefly come over and grab a drink before dissapear and leaving me all alone. 

"Yeah well.... fuck you too." I spat at them as they walked away. 

I turned back to my drink and shook my head, looking up at the bartender. "You haven't left me! You're so nice to me." I muttered, giving her a lopsided grin. 

She gave me a tight smile, as if it was forced. "Well, it is my job to stay behind the counter sir." She said. It made my heart clench. She was only here because she had to be, if she wanted she would leave me, just like everyone else.

Quickly she turned away from me to deal with another customer, a little boy who wanted some chocolate milk. Aw, he was so cute. He had to be about five, maybe even younger. I wonder what Louis' and Eleanors first child would look like, if they would have a boy or a girl. After all, she was due in seven month. Seven fucking months before Louis had a child of his own. He would have something imporrtant to care for, someone to spend his life loving along with Eleanor. 

Slowly but surely Louis would start to fade even further away from me, he would miss a few of my calls at first. Then he would only come over once every few weeks and then once every few months, After that he would ignore all my texts and calls altogether, and the only time I would ever have any contact with him was when he sent me a Christmas card. But then I would move and I couldn't give him my adress, and then the only time I would ever see him was if he was ever on the telly. 

A harsh broken sob escaped my lips, making the little boy look at me breifly before his mother dragged him away. I don't blame her, I wouldn't want my kids to be around a drunken idiot either. With a deep sigh I downed the last bit of my drink and placed fifty on the counter, I couldn't remember if I paid already or not. 

Maybe I should just get out of everyones way, Im only being a burden to everyone here, no one wants me. I dont even want to be here anymore. It was too dark and stuffy and everyone was dancing together and having fun and it only made me more depressed. 

Somehow I managed to stumble outside into the chilly air. I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing that I had some type of warmth. Some one to hold to keep me happy and warm at the same time. LIke Louis. He was always warm, even in the winter. He was like a furnace. 

Eventually I made it to the back of the hotel where I heard giggling, and a strangley familiar voice. With furrowed brows I walked over, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I rounded the corner my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. 

There was Eleanor and a few of her friends, which wasn't that bad. But the surpsing part was the sight of a martini is Eleanors hand and a cigerette in the other. I drunkin;y walked over to her, my finger out accusingly. "Y-y-you liar!" I spat at her.

The small girl looked around at her friends, rolling ehr eyes at me as if I was merely a child. How could she do this, how coould she lie to Louis and make him think that she was pregnant. Either that or she was smoking and drinking while she had the baby, but I doubted that seriously. 

"Go back inside girls, I got this." She stated. 

Her friends looked around at one another breifly before shrugging and heading inside. 

"Youre a bitch! A hoorible l-lying... liar!" I shouted. 

She scoffed loudly and took a drag from her fag. "What are you gonna do about it?" She raised an eyebrow. 

"I-I'm gonna tell!" I warned. "I'll tell him, and he'll break up with yooou!"

"And then what? He'll fall madly in love with you? It won't work that way Harry. If anything, that poor sap will throw a little tantrum before coming crawling back to me. Besides, Louis wont believe you." 

I shook my head, feeling my brain rattle. "N-no. Lou trusts me! I'm honest to Boobear." 

Eleanor took another drag of her cig before throwing it on the ground and stomping it out with her high heel. She placed her drink down and walked towards me. 

"Listen, Haz." She mocked Louis' nickname for me. "I'm sure that you wouldn't do that to your little crush." The curly haired devil smirked. 

"What are y-you talking about?" I questioned. 

"Well think about it. Louis has the perfect life now. A beautiful wife, a thriving carreer and more money then most people make in a life time. Do you really want to ruin that for him? Do you want to ruin his happiness? To be the one that ruins his wedding day." She asked. 

I gulped loudly and looked to the ground. DId it really want to ruin this for him? Could I be the one to destroy his chance at a perfect life?

"I-I..." I trailed off, tears building in my eyes. I didn't know what to do. The alcohol in my brain was rattling my system, I couldn't think properly. Hell, I could barely make out an understandable sentence. 

"Exactly. Now why don't you run along back to your lonely little flat and leave me and Louis alone, It doesn't matter if I'm pregnant or not anyway. Its easy to just fake a mis carraige, all I would need to do is pay of some doctor and the problem is solved." SHe stated a matter of factly. 

Tears were falling down my face at an increasing rate and I sent her a glare so deep I hoped it killed her. 

"You-" But I was cut off by the sound of a familiar voice. 

"Eleanor? How could you?"