Aura

Chapter Thirty Four

"I can't believe you and Prince really are over," Tayanna said dipping her hands in the chip bowl as we sat in her room sprawled out on her bed after school. "I thought you two were soul mates." 

"Guess not..." I trailed off. "But how are you and that guy?" I asked trying to remember the scum bag that ruined me and Tay's friendship. 

"Khalil?" As she said his name an unfamiliar look grew across her face almost like she was scared or something. I couldn't really identify it and it scared me in a way. 

"Yeah..."I stared at her facial expression for a minute before speaking again. "Yo, you okay Tay?" 

".... Oh.. ugh yeah." She got up from her position on the bed and her face went back to normal in a fake attempt to mask her sadness or anger or... whatever that face was. "I just was thinking about how terrible I was to you." 

"It's okay, Tayanna--" She interrupted me as she grabbed my hands interlocking them. 

"No it's not Laylani. I was going through something and I just I shouldn't have treated you like that for no reason. I wanted to apologize for so long but your life just seemed to continue and a part of me didn't think... you would forgive me." 

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have let you go so easily." 

"And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Prince's child. I just didn't think he was gonna prolong it that long." 

"Let's just not talk about the past."  

"Deal." 

"But, you never answered my question." My eyes watched her and she looked away. "How is Khalil?"

"He's good." 

"Tayanna..." I started and she knew I knew there was more to what she was telling me. 

"I'm pregnant." 

"WHAT?" 

"Yeah Laylani." 

A million things ran through my mind and I couldn't even think of which one to address first. I knew Tayanna forever and I would never in life expect her to get pregnant. Was that what had her so on edge? Instant pictures of her walking a stroller through college played in my mind. 

"So what are you gonna do?" 

"I haven't told anyone yet... not even Khalil. I have no idea." 

"... If you do keep it? Do you think he would be a good father?" 

"No. I hate him!" 

Her words shocked me because she had just told me he was good seconds ago. What the hell was going on with Tayanna? It must be the baby making her feel this way because Tayanna was always the chillest most laid back person I knew. 

"What? Why?" 

"He's a dog. He expects me to sit at home and twiddle my thumbs while he's outside doing whatever the fuck he wants with whoever he wants." She walked to the mirror and had lifted her shirt and it was crazy how there was already a little bump bulging from her. It was subtle, you would never even notice if she hadn't lifted her shirt. "And his temper... He has anger issues." 

"He doesn't like hit you or anything does he?" Our eyes met and she again looked away in embarrassment answering my question instantly. 

"HE HIT YOU?!" I practically yelled but my voice was muffled by Tayanna's shushing and her hand cupped over my mouth. 

"My mother is home." She started. "It was just one time Laylani and he apologized. Plus, I hit him first. Look, Khalil loves me he just has been through a lot in his life and he has a lot going on with him besides me." 

"So are ya'll broken up?" 

"No." 

"NO?"

"I mean I hate him but I love him. And now I'm holding his child." 

I tried not to judge as Tayanna went into detail about their abusive ass relationship. The way she explained it made it seem like the abuse came from both sides. She said that sometimes she would swing on him and they would just start fighting. Like full on, swinging at each other and hitting each other in the face and allat. I started to think about Prince and how, he never hit me back despite how many times I hit him. What would I have done if he did? 

We both had school the next morning so at around 8 I walked across the hall and went straight into my room to be alone with my thoughts. I felt like between the year of 2015 and 2016 so much shit has been dropped on me and I just have no more energy to even address any of it. My life was so great and carefree just a year ago and now I had stress coming at me from every direction. 

I laid in bed and thought about all the things that life had presented me in the past few months. I turned over on my side and looked at the picture of my mother. I wonder what she would say in a situation like this. She would probably tell me to be strong. The fab lyric "God gives the hardest battle to the strongest soldiers" came into mind. 

Was I pitting myself? I mean I had been through a lot but at the same time I still had so many blessings. I had two parents that loved me tremendously and although my mother died, I had her for most of my life and she loved me as well. Yeah, I lost Prince but that's apart of life. Sometimes people aren't meant to stay but just to make appearances. 

I picked up my phone from my night stand and scrolled through my Facebook timeline. I looked at my friend request and seen that I had a new friend request from a boy named Oliver Perkins. I clicked on his name and the balmain model I had met in class pictures filled my screen. He was seriously gorgeous. I accepted the friend request without a doubt and then locked my phone to try and catch some sleep. 

---

My car was still held captive by my father but thankfully since Tayanna and I were friends again she would drive me. We sat in her car listening to Bryson Tiller, Just Another Interlude as we pulled into the parking lot across from our school 5 minutes before the warning bell for first period would ring. 

"So... you're sure that you're pregnant?" I asked shutting the door behind me as I got out of the jeep. 

"Positive." 

"Well you know that I'm here--" 

"Shhh" Tayanna interrupted me as two boys walked up behind us as we crossed the street during the crosswalk. 

"Wassup Tay?" One of the two boys said. I immediately recognized Oliver to be one, but the other one was different. 

"Hey guys. Oliver, Akiel, this is my best friend Laylani." 

"We've met." Oliver said he flashed me his model smile and I smiled back warmly. 

"What's good?" His friend beside him asked. They continued to walk up past us and we followed behind. 

"Those are your friends?" I asked Tayanna watching them as they walked. 

"Nah, not really. We are just cordial and what not." 

"Oh... okay."