Torn

Chapter 9

AN: So by now I guess we've already established that photo editing is not one of my talents. I'm extremely sorry about that. I hope the chapter will make up for it :D

Please imagine Harry with a fedora.

Love you all

Selena...

"Are you even listening?"

"Oh sorry, can you repeat?"

Aleen sighed, probably losing her patience. I can't blame her though, I haven't been myself these past days. These past days since...

I don't want to be fucking friends with you anymore.

I flinch, the tears almost coming out again. Despite all the hurtful words he said to me, I can't find it in me to be mad at him, because in all honesty, I don't have an ounce of right to be. I caused that, I put those words in his mouth; I pushed him to hate me.

I do remember choosing Taylor over him many times, neglecting my unfairness towards the situation – towards him. That was my lame attempt to wash my wrongdoings. I knew I deserved his anger, it was my karma but I can't deny the way it cut so deep and stung so harsh. His forest orbs that I got used to seeing full of warmth and comfort was hard with fury.

I did sense another emotion from him, hidden beyond the ugly feeling he was throwing at me. But cast these bitter sensations aside, I admit, I was thrown off guard by all his questions. It was the first time that we addressed that night so bluntly after delicately tiptoeing around it and if it wasn't for the significance of the topic, I'm sure my mind would have been quick to conjure up not-so-decent thoughts.

I don't know if it's only because I saw him again, but ever since Cara's party I have been doing a lot of things that I shouldn't – things that I worked hard to go against during that 2 years. But instead of being headstrong I put all my effort to waste by asking him to lay next to me, writing a song from the memory of his naked body and relishing in the little comfort brought by the knowledge that it was jealousy that prompted his ire.

What the hell is wrong with me? It was just a mere fuck, dammit!

Maybe it was, but why did warmth cascade over me when he not-so-discreetly hinted that he wanted more than one night?

A curse goes off within the realms of my mind, apparently I've got another inquiry that I don't want and shouldn't want to answer.

But out of everything else, there is one thing I'm sure about, the guilt. I'm guilty that I'm the root cause of this pandemonium, I'm guilty of thinking and acting like a bitch in heat, I'm guilty of being the worst friend and I'm guilty of dragging Niall into this mess – Niall that is probably the most innocent of all of us.

I don't even like him that way, yet I go out with him three times. But of course, I don't blame her.

"So I heard a particular Irish is in the same city as you"

I roll my eyes, certain with the way Taylor's wiggling her perfectly arched eyebrows from the other end.

"If you're talking about Niall then yes, I bumped into him this morning" I reply, pulling the phone a safe distance from my ear and just as expected she lets out a shriek, needless to say she's a fan – if not the instigator of 'Nialena'

"Oh My God, so what did you talk about? He asked you out, didn't he?"

"Well he di – wait a minute" I pause, suspicious "How did you know he asked me out?"