The ODD Couple

15. Unclear

"I don't think it's the right time to go out grocery shopping with you Harry."
Grocery shopping was an intimate thing to do. Then again, it was only me looking at it that way right?

"Why not? Don't you want food? I don't know about you but I need some to live Sushi Sasch! Get your ass out of my apartment and help me shop!"

And just like always, I had to relent when it came to him.
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SASCHA

"Sascha, I've decided to give us the best shot that I ever have."

"What? What do you mean? I-I thought that-"

"That I was going to break up?"

He paused. After a few moments I realised he was actually waiting for a reply, something that would give him confirmation that he was right. He always wanted to be proven right. The way he was looking at me right now, I could punch him in the face.

Whoa. Where was all this coming from? Ever since when did I have such feelings towards Derek?

"Yes. I thought, actually, I knew you'd break up with me after everything that happened."

"Is that how low you think of me?"

Yes.
"No Derek. It's just....we don't have that sort of trust between us anymore."

"I know Sascha. And that's why I've agreed to work on this relationship."

Agreed to work on it? Is it a business deal? When did I ever beg him to?
He needed a news update. Sascha Brewston never begs or pleads with anyone except her mother.

The mother, whose words started ringing in my head like warning bells. Would I want to wait for Derek? When did I feel like? Ever since he started off on trips, that were mostly informed about at the last minute, did I ever feel like I was waiting for him?
And the last trip that he went to, I didn't even miss him.

All because of Harry.

"Sascha," his voice brought me back from my reverie, "what is it? Do you want to try or not?"

No.

"I need time. I don't know. After what happened that day, the words you said, I just need a while."

Wrong. It was more hurtful to see Harry go away without a goodbye. I'd just lost a good friend that I've ever had so much fun with. All this was so wrong.

My mind went back to the time when that little girl in the park wanted candy floss. But the mother apologised profusely to her. It seemed like she didn't have enough money. That was when Harry bought one. And just when I thought he was going to give it to her, he just offered it to her. He even playfully fought with her when she took a bite too big.

Why did you share it and not buy one, I'd asked him.
"Because if I'd bought one for her to keep for herself, she wouldn't have learnt the lesson in sharing today. Some things can't be bought Sascha."

"Sascha? Sascha! You're spacing out again! When will you learn to stop day dreaming?"

Ugh. Derek's voice was too sharp, too controlling. True, I was a deep thinker and sometimes liked being left to my own thoughts. Derek hated it when I didn't talk to him at times. That boy couldn't ever give me some space.

"That's enough Derek. I said I will take some time. You can leave me alone now."
I said as calmly as I could.

"You're really testing my patience girl. Why can't you just make up your mind? What's so difficult about it? I've been with you for 3 long years. I'm sorry for the times I couldn't be there. But why are you having second thoughts about me just because of a guy, a foreigner to be precise, who you spent just 3 days with? 3 days can never level up to 3 years!"