Behind Closed Hearts

Chapter 32

"Who is it?"

James worked his jaw, staring at Aleks in complete shock with wide eyes. He slowly shook his head, bringing his hands to cover his mouth, and lowered his eyes to the bedding.

This… This wasn't supposed to happen at all.

"James! Look at me, damn it!"

Aleks' voice caused James to flinch, but he forced his eyes up regardless to look into Aleks' eyes. His face was pained and full of worry and his hands clenched uncomfortably against James' shoulders.

"James," Aleks said much slower, seriously, "Tell me."

James reacted without thinking, following his instincts as his blood rushed through him. He threw Aleks off him and sprang from the bed.

Stumbling, James' knees hit the floor, scraping, but he was up again in an instant, throwing himself at the door. He knew this was his brother, but his mind was screaming at him! He needed out, NOW.

"Damn it, James!" Aleks called out from behind him.

Grabbing the doorknob, James wrenched the door open. Aleks was suddenly there, slamming the door shut before he disappear through it.

"Leave me alone!" James screamed at him.

Aleks' face contorted in complete anger. "Leave you alone? James, for God's sake, I'm trying to help you here!"

"I DON'T NEED IT OKAY?" James went to grab at the doorknob again, but Aleks knocked him aside, slamming James into the wall with a tight grip on his shoulders. He struggled, trying to throw Aleks off him.

"Stop it!" Aleks yelled. He pulled James forward and slammed him back against for a second time.

The jolt of pain that rippled up James' spine caused him to cease his struggle and out of nowhere, he was sobbing, messily and loudly, out of irrational fear of his own brother. James shot Aleks a betrayed look and struggled to control his panic.

Aleks stopped, looked bewildered at James' tears, and then snatched his fingers away from James as if they were burned.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry!" He went to reach for his brother again but James flinched once again.

Aleks was horrified.

Glancing up Aleks, James saw his chance.

He was looking at him with wide eyes but he also had his hands pulled to his chest and was standing further from the door than James. With one glance at the door, he bolted, not wasting any time this time. He pulled the door open easily and was through in a second, flying out blindly.

"James!"

It was fight or flight; the adrenaline took over. James sprinted, taking hard turns until he was almost at the front of the house.

His vision tunneled on the front door but someone suddenly stepped into his path and he collided hard, falling painfully to the ground, entwining with the other person. It was Eddie. He glanced up to his right; Jordan and Seamus staring at him in disbelief.

In that moment, James couldn't hate himself more.

He was up on his feet, just as Aleks came around the corner behind him. Jumping over Eddie, James was at the front door and outside before anyone could stop him.

He sprinted down the front steps, almost colliding with Joe and Dan who were just coming up the sidewalk.

"James!" Joe cried in surprise.

"Stop him!" Aleks called after them. But it was too late; James had maneuvered around them and was out on the road with no shirt or shoes, again, running blindly.

--

James had lost them by taking a shortcut through the park and now he was running up his familiar street towards his house. Once inside, he slammed the door so hard that it shook on its hinges.

He stood there for a moment in the middle of the foyer, panting hard with wet eyes. He frowned, closing his eyes, and then, slowly, he began to slide down until he came to the ground.

His clammy hands pressed against the cool floor and James stared at them, curling them into fists.

What was he going to do now? He shifted and pulled his legs to his chest. What was everyone going to think of him? He nestled his head down into his arms and his shoulders shuddered.

It was only a brief moment that he was sitting there on the floor in the middle of his foyer, when Lily suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs. "James?"

His head snapped up and he looked at the woman through his tears. He couldn't answer and instead he whimpered. That's all that it took for Lily to run down the stairs and drop down on the floor beside him, gathering him into her arms.

He couldn't help it. He wrapped his arms around his guardian and allowed himself to be comforted, hiding his face in her hair. She pressed a warm hand against his back, rubbing slowly. "Oh, James, what's wrong?"

He shook his head, sniffing, trying to control himself. "It'll be alright," she murmured.

"Did you find out what that noise was, Lily?"

James peeked out at the stairs. Nathen was standing there, staring at the two in confusion. Lily began to stroke his hair. "It was just James," She said slowly.

"Oh," he said, and slowly descended the stairs and then sat at the bottom one, beside them. James leaned back into Lily and they sat for a moment. Luckily, James was no longer crying but he made no movement.

He felt humiliated… but safe?

Suddenly there was a loud pounding on the door and he flinched harder into Lily shoulder. He already knew who it was.

Nathen moved around them went to the door, answering it. "Hey. Oh you're James' brother, aren't you?"

"Where's James?" Aleks demanded, looking into the house.

Nathen opened the door wider, revealing the two on the floor. James looked up and met his brother's eyes. Aleks looked stricken.

"James," Aleks said. "We should really talk about this…" he trailed off.

James opened his mouth to reply. Nothing came out.

"Maybe," Lily interrupted, looking between the brothers. "Maybe you should come back, Aleks. I'm not sure what happened here, but I think James needs some time." She looked down at the boy in her arms and rubbed his shoulders.

Aleks stood there, defeated. "But…" Lily looked up at him, a protective, stern expression on her face.

It made Aleks stop. He lowered his head and said a simple, "Okay." He turned on his heel and left the threshold and disappeared down the pathway.