BEEP BEEP BEEP came the alarm clock to my left. I got up and looked at my clock. 5;02am. With a start I bolted out of bed. Two minutes. It wasn't a huge change in my life, but it was two minutes off schedule. I dressed myself as quickly as possible and scurried down to our kitchen. It was rather small, but it had a cozy feel to it, even if it was cheap. I got a pan out of the cabinet when I hear a loud bang, followed by a slap on my back that could have cut through steel.
"Arthur! Look who's up! Trying to cook again? Move aside and let me cook oatmeal and scotch eggs!" Came my oldest and loudest brother, Allistor.
"Oi! I can handle eggs!" I sneered.
"Maybe boiled eggs. Heating up things is your trademark move." Alistair sneered back as I shoved him.
"Fuck off!"
"Well our little Arthur does tend to heat things up quite often. With food, people and all of the boy's dalliances." Came the calm and cool Gavin, wearing his signature red dragon shirt from when he was in school.
"Shut up! You bellend!"
"What about bellends now?" Connor smirked appearing with his twin out of nowhere.
Seamus smiled like the devil would once he received a new soul. "Oh Connor, don't be nosy. I'm sure Arthur is just trying to see who has a bigger-"
"Stop ruining my morning you gobshites! I get to cook, I got up before you did!"
"But I'm the best cook!" Alistair bellowed, hitting me on the head with his fist.
"No you are not! I can cook better than you can any day!" I angrily burst.
"NO! WE CAN!" Came the twins.
"Well I can cook better than Seamus can. He makes his fish taste like chicken." Alistair laughed.
"OI! You wanna go laddie?! I'll shove your dick so far up your nose, you'll blow your snot through your head like a whale hole!" Seamus slammed Alistair's head into the table.
"Ha! You can try! You can't even lift Peter!" Came the smushed face.
"What about me?" Peter yawned as he came down the hall. Our home was four stories tall, with the first floor being occupied by the pub. I took this as my chance to sneak into the kitchen and begin cooking.
"So you ready for work Conner?" Gavin smiled. He was the nicest of all my brothers, but he could be a total ass if need be.
"Yes. I met a real pretty thing yesterday who gave me her number and told me she'll she me again today. Her shorts were all the way up her thigh. She was way prettier than Seamus's chick."
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU SAY ABOUT MARIAN?!" Seamus shouted and sprang off of Alistair.
"Always gotta start shit huh, you little git." Alistair shoved Gavin.
"I SAID SHE LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF HORSEDUNG, PILLOCK!" Connor said grabbing a blender from the counter.
I sighed and continued to cook, as Gavin and Alistair squabble about trivial things, ending with Alistair in a headlock.
"SAY THAT AGAIN ABOUT ME FLOWER AND I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR BALLS TO FEED THEM TO MY ARMY OF CANNIBALS! THEN I'LL TEAR OF YOUR HEAD AND GIVE IT TO SOME LOSER ON THE STREET WHO NEEDS A WANKING HANKIE!" Seamus grabbed Connor's collar.
"WHAT IS WITH YOU AND WHALES? GOT A SECRET FETISH OR SOMETHING? GO ON, TELL US!"
Peter hopped on the counter and slid next to me.
YOU ARE READING
50 Reasons Why
FanfictionIt's Senoir Year at Hetalia Academy and All Alfred Jones can think about are football, his brother's dalliances, his sinking grades, and the tutor who knows it all.
