Ultimate Dream (Zak Bagans Fan Fic)

One;

I laid down waiting on another MRI, I used to freak out but now it's nothing. A quick 10minute scan that would tell me what I already knew about my future, slim chance.

"Leigh we need you to stay still and not move. Try and control your breathing so there's no false readings" does this nurse not know I already knew this information?

"I'm very aware of what I need to do. Mum how many times have I done this?" I rolled my eyes and focused back on where my mind was at.

Sometimes me being alone with my thoughts where horrible, due to neglecting myself over this illness me and my mind where left to play. I've been diagnosed with terminal heart problems, yes it's deadly but the question is when it kill me? I was hoping soon, I had begin to not care and just waiting for death to come knocking at my door, sweep me off my feet and consume me. The noises of this machine where all familiar, the little whispers between doctors and nurses where annoying but the cries from my mother I tried to drown out.

"Okay Leigh you're done. Get dressed and we'll call you when the scans are done."

I stood up and looked at my reflection, how miserable I looked. I threw my top on and saw my mother break down crying again, I cuddled her sometimes I was comforting her through this all. I knew what my illness was and I treks making a better life but nothing brought a smile to my face so I gave up. My boyfriend had cheated on me with my best friend cause he couldn't deal with it all, such a dickhead. My friends moved on while I held stayed in the moment and that's when I was better off by myself.

"Mum. Please stop crying, take my hand okay" I held her hand a we waited and waited.

Stormed up and down the hallway "Excuse me? I'm dying and I really don't wanna spend maybe my last hours on earth waiting for a result I already know. Can we hurry?"

"LEIGH!! Stop it!" My mum cried out and collapsed to her knees, I kept forgetting about other peoples feelings.

The nurses seemed to listen to me and had my results, I didn't bother about listening, blah blah blah Leigh is dying blah blah blah this much money. I didn't want a cure, I wanted to go. It hurts everyday, to move, to smile, to even have any happy ideas nothing works.

"Mrs Haym, as you know Leigh's condition is in-curable and we just need to keep up the anti depressants and maybe some therapy? The nurse bowed her glasses down her nose and snarled at me.

"Haha therapy? No. Ofcourse I'm miserable. I will never get married, no kids, no travelling and possibly no sex! But therapy is not the answer, what listen to some shrink who has no idea? Tsk no." My mum glanced over at me "I'll try it ONCE!" I got up and left, I heard mum follow me slowly.

The drive home was silent, I didn't know what I could say to make her change her mind and considering what happened today she probably doesn't want to talk. We arrived home, she made phone calls and poured herself a cuppa. I lounged on the couch and watched Ghost Adventures, this show gave me life and possibly cracked a smile on my face. Mum sunk right next to me.

"Leigh please I love you. Can we drop the hostility, I want to be there for you and not have you chew my head off" I patted her hand, she kissed my forehead and brought me in for a cuddle "To be honest one sad thing is I'll never meet Zak." Mum kept quite, she must've been relieved when she knew I'd miss something in my pathetic life.

"Maybe we could arrange something? The foundation could make a few calls, give me a minute" she got up and left. I turned off the telly and headed to bed, it gets pretty exhausting when you're constantly bombarded with death. I drugged myself up, put on my oxygen and struggled to sleep with the loud noises from my machine. My room was downstairs, mum gave me a huge room with an ensuite just so I was comfortable. Mum had two jobs to pay the bills, I refused any treatment from the hospital as I hated seeing my mum struggle, she was a nurse and did part time work as a check out chick in the local markets.

I felt guilty with my mums sadness, I never wanted to be a disappointment. I had dreams of becoming a nurse too, fall head over heels in love and get married, start a family and grow old but those dreams where only dreams. I pushed everyone away so when hurricane Leigh comes through no one has to go through the madness and build themselves up again, I wasn't going to tear people apart. My dad left a long time ago when I was 11 and first diagnosed and he couldn't cope, good riddance I say he was a asshole. So it was just mum and me, we used to be heaps close but as I get older I drift apart from her so when I do die she won't be too hurt.

I was soon drifting off to sleep when I heard mum crawl in my bed "Can I lay with you for a little bit?" I giggled and pulled her closer to me, sometimes we didn't need words being around each other was enough. "Leigh what am I going to do when you go?" I closed my eyes and I could picture the heartbreak for her, "Ssh mum." "No Leigh, I want say this out loud. I'm going to be alone, I have no one and nothing. I love you and I'm so sorry for all this." I held mum tight, she wiggled away from me and kissed me goodnight "Oh I forgot, you're meeting the Ghost Adventures Crew tomorrow night" my face went red and I started to chuckle "I love you mum." She blew a kiss and off she went.