Short Stories

The Virtuous' (Part 2)

You are convinced, that no matter how good a person truly is, when survival is put on the line, that person can and will do anything to survive again. That does not make the things that person does or says during that period of insanity good, or even relatively okay. It just means that, that could have been anyone else doing those unforgivable things.

You also believe that the human mind works on its own sometimes, almost separates from your conscience and physical body, and when your mind is put under a great amount of sudden stress, the mind involuntarily protects itself. It hides the past from your memory, or it protects you with a titanium shield as a whole, as if just to be cautious that it doesn't happen again. And it doesn't, so within time, the shield will rust and fall apart, at the feet of the person who broke it down for you, the person who saved you from your sub-conscious, from yourself. 

At one point, that person for you, was Tommy. You were all alone, your whole family had died, and although you didn't have to give them all mercy, their deaths still weighed (something equal to the world) on your shoulders. You found the group in a moment of peril, for them that is, and little small and insignificant you, saved them. You used your last shred of sanity on a random group of humans with a decaying man named; Murphy. To be honest, you didn't question your actions before, after or even during the fight, only a mere hour post those heinous' torturing you and Tommy, do you begin to question it. But none of that mattered in the moment after you saved them, and your eyes landed on the beauty that was and is; Thomas. 

You always shook your head (like every other 13 year old) at chick flicks and your parents being adorably, cliche, you never thought you would find anything like those unreachable fantasies. But the moment you met his eyes, you knew that you wouldn't be one of those people, the ones that go crazy for their own personal survival, as long as he was with you, you wouldn't.

Now, you have become numb to your feelings, to the memories that are burning your eyes every time you simply blink, and now you are starting to believe that maybe you could become one of those people. Because now that he's not by your side, it doesn't seem so impossible anymore.

You stop in front of a rack of plain black t-shirts, your stare dangerously blank and your presence (for Addy) no longer joyous and bubbly, but instead draining and depressing. So, with a grim smile, she leaves your side, leaving behind (for you) merely a small, cool, breeze. Even though the air around you is sticky and burning, the breeze chills you through to the bone, and leaves you that way.

You run a finger across the stitching of one of the shirts and cringe as an image flashes behind your eyes, one of the man running his knife through the stitching of 10k's shirt, and suddenly you're holding a knife. Your unconscious wraps you into it's clawed grasp, and squeezes you, making it hard to breathe as you become the one hurting 10k, only this time there is no questioning it, you are hurting him, there is no 'indirectly' about it. 

Your blade slide across his cheek bone and his eyes bore into your soulless ones, and you feel nothing for him, and that thought is enough to scare you out of your mind. Literally.

You gasp and find that you have the t-shirt in your fist, you're squeezing so hard your knuckles are a pearly version of the colour white, and you grit your teeth in the struggle to release the tension. You race around the store, grabbing a vest, black jeans, and brown boots.

You find your own pile of clothes and change behind a curtain before finding Addy and Murphy near the door. You greet them with a false smile and let them lead you out.