Courage to love

I like you // Chapter 5

Oh darn. We are sitting side by side and very close too. Oh my God. My anxiety levels are rising again. I feel that my heart must idolise the actors from fast and furious a lot, or F1 racers at this moment. This is bad, no, this is horrible. For it has been accelerating its beats ever since we sat down, I wonder if he will be able to hear it if my heart continue stepping on its speed pedal.

"Ave?"

"Huh? Oh sorry, hi?"

"Hahaha you said you wanted to tell me something?"

"Oh yeah, about that..."

I breathe in.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about something. But please don't laugh at me or feel awkward about it, I just want to get it off my chest."

Looking at his confused expression, I hastened to defend.

"Um, it is not a huge issue, please don't worry! I'm just going to say what I think, you don't have to reply, at least not now. Um..."

"Hahaha okay?" He replied comfortingly despite feeling a tad uneasy. "No worries, just say what you want to say. I'll listen"

I breathe out, "Okay."  I closed my eyes and breathe in once more. "Do you remember how we met?"

"I don't think I can forget that. Hahaha."

"Hahaha I guess my clumsiness did not develop overnight. I was really sorry for spilling my fish ball noodles on you then. Though I felt really guilty at that time, but I just couldn't think of anything I can do to make it any better..."

"Lol Ave, that happened a million years ago and you already apologized then. If you are worried that I have not forgave you for that, don't be. We are friends remember? Hahaha."

Wow, he had to drop the 'f' bomb. Great, just fantastic. I am being friend-zoned this freaking moment.

"Well, that is not exactly the part which I am worried about. Thanks to that incident, you made an impression on me." I looked straight in the distance where I can see the shapes of the different clouds without tilting my head.

"A huge one. Like the reason behind the lyrics of songs I've listened, the meaning between the lines of poetry I wrote and most definately the feelings underneath the words in my diaries. Though I'm not very sure whether it's because I feel guilty, addicted, desperate or..."

I close my eyes and smile softly to the clouds while I continued to saying "... or because I like you."

The moment I ended that sentence, my mind was finally at peace and my heart too, calmed down. Everything around suddenly fell silent and for once, I can finally hear the sounds of nature. The breeze never felt cooler and my chest never felt freer.

I finally said it. I finally did it.