The Feeling With No Name

4||It's all I know how to do

Kellin POV

We were almost to the hospital, and I only had one thing one my mind. My blade. My wrist longed for it, and it had only been an hour since my last art project.... I needed more, I needed to feel something other than what I was feeling now. Justin was still crying.... I don't know why I'm not. These guys are my best friends, why am I not crying for them? They could die and my mind is not letting me cry. It is thinking dark thoughts. I want to see my friends, I want to cry for them, I want to feel something in my life other than pain!!! Is that too much to ask?

All of the sudden, I started sobbing. Just out of no where. What the hell is wrong with me? Justin looked at me with a worried look in his eyes. 

"Damnit Hills!!! Stop!!!" I suddenly screamed.

"Kellin..... Calm down. What is- why are you yelling?" He stuttered and started crying.

"No one else worries about me, so why should you? Don't worry about me, I've gotten through my thoughts before without anyone, why couldn't I now?" I yelled

"B-b-but what about Vic? I thought he.... I thought he loved you a-an-and I thought you guys were together, I'm sorry if I was wrong...." He sobbed.

"Yeah, if that's what you want to call it." I said sarcastically.

"Wh-what do you mean?" He asked.

"If you want to call Vic beating me to the point where I pass out every night, or him taking a blade and carving words into my body, or kicking me while I'm on the ground. Raping me every day and night, pulling me by my hair and forcing me to lay with him on the bed and "cuddle" love", I said making quotation marks with my fingers, "then go ahead. But I wouldn't call that love. I'm 19, and a high school drop out who can sing. I'm nothing special, I'm used to it."

"Kellin, why didn't you tell me he did these things?! What the fuck? He deserves to go to fucking jail!!" He screamed unexpectedly.

"Hills what the fuck has gotten into you? I said I'm used to it. And why is it such a surprise he hits me? I mean.... You only know the nice Vic. I did too, at first, when we first met and we started a relationship, he was so sweet and kind and the Vic everybody knew. Then he changed, just out of no where. I have no idea what happened. One day he was hugging me and kissing me and my scars and telling me how much he loved me, then that boy was gone. On May 1st, 2014 was the first time he raped me....." I said.

-Flashback-

It was around 12 AM and I was sleeping, well trying to. Then I felt a hand go up my thigh, to my "area" and grab me. My eyes whipped open and Vic looked at me, smiling.

"You are gonna love what's about to happen, baby. I promise" and with that, he thrusted himself on top of me. "Let's go, I hear you're a virgin. Let's change that."

I was scared, but didn't show it. He kissed me, I kissed back. This went on for about 5 minutes. That's when he sat up, still sitting on my lap, and grabbed my length... again..... I still had my sweat pants on, but he solved that problem. He grabbed the waist band of my sweats and yanked, exposing me and  grunting at the same time.

"Vi-Vic what are you?-" I was cut off by him kissing me. I didn't like this, AT ALL.

Then he grabbed me again..... This time it was more violent, and told me to get down on my knees. I did what he asked, and he grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked.

"Vi-" I was cut off again.

"Shut up, just enjoy it!!!" he screamed. Then he raped me. Just like that. 

"Vic, please, stop" I sobbed. He slapped me across the face and yelled "No!! Enjoy it!! Please baby, I'm only doing this because I care!!"

I continued to sob and sob..... and sob....... Until he eventually stopped what seemed like an eternity later, and when he did, he fell asleep. And I got the hell out of that room. I ran to the living room and laid down on the couch, shaking and too scared to sleep.

-End of flashback-

Hey guys!!!! Did you like this chapter? You guys really need to vote and comment too, because I think that my stories aren't good. I know you're reading, so please, take a second to vote?! Love ya guys!!!!! <3