No Silver Lining...

chapter 5

I was at Jeffy’s place, mom had dropped me off and went for shopping with my aunt so it was just us kids at home. Me and Malissa were in the kitchen baking brownies, the kids were watching T.V and Jeffy was sleeping. After putting the brownies in the oven We made ourselves coffee. I sat on the kitchen stool when Jeffy came into the kitchen.

When did you come? “he asks me it’s true a boy’s sleepy voice is the sexiest shit ever”

Like half an hour ago “I say, I still didn’t have the guts to look at him while I talked”

He didn’t say anything so I looked up at him and saw he was staring at me damn it what the fuck did I do that your staring at me! I looked back down, blushing like crazy.

When are you two gonna admit that you like each other? “Malissa says rolling her eyes and walking out the kitchen leaving me and Jeffy alone, I forgot she didn’t know about us.

So is your mom here? “he asks breaking the awkward silence. I can’t believe it when were talking on Facebook we can’t shut up and now it’s so hard to even start a conversation.

Nah, she and your mom when out for shopping. “I say trying to sound casual”

Again nothing, I can feel his eyes on me so I don’t bother looking up at him. Jeffy walks towards my direction and puts his hand on top of mine, looking down at me what’s he doing?! If anyone comes into the kitchen were both dead.

Why are you blushing? “He asks knowing very well why.”

I’m still looking down but I know he’s smirking. He moves his hand away from mine and just as I thought he was going to go away, he comes right in front of me and puts both his hands around the kitchen counter where I’m sitting, surrounding me between his arms. I’m going to die.

I asked you a question. “He says teasingly”

I know he’s taking advantage of my shyness and it’s getting on my nerves. With all the courage I have I look up at him, straight into his eyes for the first time ever since he told me he liked me.

I’m not blushing “I say”

Though he’s still smiling at me STOP! I thought he was going to be surprised by my answer but there’s no change of attitude. I couldn’t look into his eyes any longer so I turned my head towards the oven and try getting away from him because if I don’t I’d faint.

I think the brownies are burning “I say and move a little forward to get down but he comes even closer, completely closing the gap between us holy fuck!

No there not. “he’s says still smiling"

He’s just standing there, so damn close.

Look at me. “he says”

But I don’t dare because I swear if he sees how hard I’m blushing he’ll probably make fun of me.

What he does next nearly gives me a heart attack. He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head up so I’m looking right into his eyes again.

Stop Jeff-

Why? “he asks cutting me off”

Because if anyone sees us like this, we both know what’ going to happen.

After like 30 seconds of standing there doing nothing He sighs, stepping back allowing me enough space to get off the kitchen stool. But he doesn’t leave the kitchen he just sits there watching me as I check on the brownies, I lift my eyebrows up at him giving him the “why are you staring at me sign”

What? I can’t look at my own girlfriend? “he asks smiling”

Ohmygod that’s the first time I heard him call me that.

Rolling my eyes at him but smiling at the same time, I see the brownies still need about 10 minutes.

I thought you said they burned

Well I was wrong “I say sitting on the table across from him”.

He gets up and sits next to me didn’t I just tell him what a big risk this is!. He intertwines our fingers and just as i was about to tell him to stop Jeffy hides our hands under the table. Good cause if anyone comes in at least they won’t be able to see that.

He’s not saying anything so I guess he’s waiting for me to start the convo.

Say you love me ‘I tell him dying to hear those three words come out of his mouth"

I love you. “He says after a minute’s pause but….it’s the way he said it I thought I was going to get happy get shivers and goose bumps but instead I felt nothing other than sadness and disappointment, nothing. Did he even mean it?

I let go of his hand, not wanting to but feeling like I had to and got up to check the brownies, it still needed a few minutes but I don’t care, I needed an excuse. I took them out and placed them on the table. I turned to look at him and saw the pain in his eyes, the pain I caused him I know he’s upset because I didn’t tell him I love him instead just got up and totally ignored it but he doesn’t love me I know it.,I heard the not so sure part in his voice he doesn’t then why’d he say it? Why has he been lying to me for the past 18 days or something?

I went out of the kitchen with a piece of brownie and sat down to watch T.V with the kids but just as they saw the brownie in my hand, they ran to the kitchen. Phineas and Ferb was on which lifted up my mood a little, I laid down on the sofa and turned up the volume. The kids came after a while and we all sat down together to watch it though Malissa and Jeffy waren’t with us which I was thankful for because I can’t stand lying to Malissa over and over and Jeffy well….. I’m gonna have to ask him to tell me the truth but I know I can’t say it to his face because if something bad happens I’m gonna end up crying and I don’t want him seeing me in such condition. I fell asleep after a little while but mom came so we left, I didn’t say goodbye to anyone I just put on my shoes and went downstairs to the car. I decided I’m gonna try avoid seeing Jeffy as much as possible.While i was thinking about what happened Only My mom came down to the car so I guess Jason was staying over.

Alison are you alright? “my mom asked”

Yes, why? “I said a little too quickly.”

Well, that wasn’t very nice of you, what you did up there.

I was sleepy mom, leave me alone. “I said annoyed, why does she have to drag herself into everything”

When i looked at Jeffy after he said that, he wasn't looking at me. It's like he was trying to avoid eye contact, He promised he'd never lie to me and the first thing i told him about myself was that i hate people who break promises.