Chapter 1 //

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He pressed his forehead against mine, "I love you so much," he chuckled "Oh my God, it's crazy how much I love you." I felt my face turn bright red for some reason. This wasn't the first time he told me he loved me, but it just felt different.

    "Promise me when you're a big rock star, you'll write a song about me and mention me in your award speech."

     "And what do you want me to say?" I smiled.

    He cleared his throat, "Thank you, Jack Thornton. For being the best human in my life but also fuck you for never breaking my heart, depriving me from ever writing a song like Taylor Swift." he grinned.

    "That was beautiful." I declared. "But, what makes you think I'll get an award or become famous?"

    "Because I know. You have one of the best voices I've ever heard, and between your voice and Daphne's bass guitar skills, there's no way you won't." he reassured.

    The rest of the day was a blur to me. I remember falling asleep and waking up two hours into my nap with tears in my eyes, "I love you, you're my best friend." I sniffled, "It's so weird to think of a life where I won't wake up to you every morning."

    "Shh..stop crying, there will never be a day where we aren't together. I love you too, Lena. Where is this coming from?"

    "Bad dream, I guess." I lied,"Let's just go back to sleep." 

    In the morning, we woke up next to each other. I quickly got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, applied my very minimal makeup. Eyeliner, lipstick, and mascara. I pulled out a tee-shirt and jeans from my overnight bag and put them on. I left my clothes from the previous night, bunched up on the bathroom floor and made my way back to Jack's room.

    He was ready to go. "IHop?" he eagerly asked, already knowing my response.

    "Whoever makes it to the door first doesn't have to drive!" I yelled out, before sprinting  out of the room and down the stairs. 

    I made it to the door first, but not by much. He rolled his eyes in defeat and with that we hopped into his gray 2007 Toyota Camry. 

    The ride was filled with casual conversation. It wasn't till we arrived that it all went downhill. 

    I was two bites into my chocolate chip pancakes when I heard him clear his throat.

    "What are we doing?" My heart sank. I tried to act stupid but I knew exactly what he meant. Without looking up, I replied "Eating pancakes." 

    "That's not what I mean and you know that, Lena." I could feel him clenching his jaw. I finally looked up from my pancakes and into his big dark brown eyes. I sighed.

    "Jack..." I began, "you know you and I aren't regular people. We've known each other too long and have too much history.." I reached over and placed my hand over his hand, "We can make it through anything." I smiled. I could tell by his expression that he still wasn't fully convinced. This was the result of me applying to out-of-state colleges.

    "I just don't get it...do you want to leave Utah?" he asked, concern washing over his face.

    "I just want options!" I slightly raised my voice, annoyed at the entire situation. He immediately went back to eating his french toast. Silence filled the air.

"I'm not leaving you, okay...I'm not leaving you or Utah."

His face softened but still no further words were exchanged. When the meal was done with and we payed for the check, I turned to him and softly asked, "Do you not want to be with me right now?"

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