The Way We Were

Chapter 6 //

I cleared my throat loud enough for Michelle to look up from her wedding planning.

"Guess what I did last night."

Michelle, clearly annoyed, answered, "I don't know, Lena. Did you...swim with the sharks?"

"Nope." I replied, "I had dinner with Daphne, and Jack,-- and Jack's new girlfriend."

"Well, Lena, you knew it was gonna have to happen eventually." Michelle said, in an attempt to comfort me.

"You didn't even hear the best part, Michelle. Claire Shaw, my Claire, is his new girlfriend."

That captured Michelle's attention at last. I could practically hear Michelle's jaw dropping to the ground.

"You're joking, right?" she questioned.

I shook my head, "Went to go surprise him. Five minutes into the visit, I hear "Hey babe!" and out of nowhere, emerges my best friend."

Michelle sat back in her chair. "What a bitch." she sighed in astonishment. "I'll disinvite them."

"No!" I objected, "I made it seem like I was okay with it. Like I'm so happy with Hunter that it doesn't even matter."

"Well...aren't you?" she slowly questioned.

"Aren't I what?" I responded, confused.

"Happy with Hunter."

I hesitated before answering, "I am. I love Hunter. But, that doesn't make it alright for my best friend and my first everything to be together!" I slowly began raising my voice.

Michelle threw her hands in the air, assuring me that she was not questioning me.

I quickly changed the subject, "So, how's the wedding coming along?"

"It's coming alright. It's weird to think that I won't be Michelle Payne anymore." she said, more to herself than me.

"I'll let you get back to it." I smiled, leaving the room and making my way back upstairs to my room. Michelle getting married felt just as surreal to me as it did to her.

I knew everyone would have expectations for me to follow in her footsteps. Did I see myself marrying Hunter? Yes. Did I always envision my life being spent with Jack? Of course.

That's what made picturing my life so difficult.

Who would I be waking up next to? Besides the groom, I had always dreamt of a beach wedding. It'd be a small wedding, with only family and close friends. The next day we'd find ourselves drunk off love and margaritas in Cancun, where I wouldn't be Lena Payne, I'd just be another guest. Then when the time was right, I'd have twin boys. They would drive us crazy, but at the end of the day, just as we were about to lay our heads to rest, we would look at each other and ask each other "How did we get so lucky?"

I dazed off to deep thoughts of the future and what mine would look like.

Where would we live? LA was where my life was and I love the diversity, but would it be suitable for raising a family? I always imagined raising my two twin boys in a small quaint neighborhood, somewhere like Utah. But after coming back, I can't imagine myself relocating here permanently.

What would my boys name be? Hunter Jr.? Jack Jr.? What would happen to my career? Would I still be making music but just put touring on hold while I raised my boys? How would I be able to juggle being a PTA mom and playing a stadium halfway around the world?

I had so many questions that didn't have answers. My chest began to tighten and I had trouble breathing.

My hand reached for the phone and began dialing someone. I had no idea who I was calling, it was like I had no control of my body.