I can still remember the smell of coffee wafting through the late afternoon air from the cafe across the street to where I stood in line. The sweet aroma invaded my senses and seemed to warm the frigid October air. I pulled my white cardigan tight around me. I had stood on that square of sidewalk for two hours while we waited for the doors to open. When they finally did, I, along with the other hundred or so girls, were ushered inside and to a lengthy corridor. The closer I got to the door at the end, the more distinct their voices became. It was finally my turn. The tall security guard gave me a small nod and motioned towards the handle. I opened the door and my eyes fell upon the boys. My boys. The ones that saved me. Saved me from myself. Tears swelled and threatened to fall but I fought them back.
"Hey, babe!" Calum welcomed me, embracing me in a hug.
"Hello," I managed to choke out. I couldn't stop smiling.
Luke pulled me into a hug without a word, just a large grin.
"Hello," Michael greeted me next.
"Hi," I replied, wrapping my arms around him.
"Saving the best for last?" Ashton asked me, laughing. The laugh that had always been able to make me smile, no matter how upset I was. Without a word, I embraced the the boy who had helped me forget about the past and the pain, even if only briefly. I buried my face into his chest when I couldn't fight off the tears anymore. The boy who had always seemed like a perfect figment of my imagination was now here, in my arms.
"Oh babe, don't cry. Be happy!" he said, pulling my shoulders away from him. He wiped the tears from my face.
"I am happy. Finally," I said, wiping the tears with the back of my hand. A smile spread across my face and he pulled me into another hug.
That was four and half years ago.
Today, I am again wearing white, but this time I opted for something more formal than a cardigan.
"Are you ready?" my dad asks me, his eyes looking more moist than usual. I nodded, doubting I could form any actual words. He offers me his arm and I wrap mine around it. The doors open and the music starts to play. Everyone's eyes are on me, but mine are on the man's at the end of the aisle. I've never seen him smile so widely. His best friends behind him smile and nudge each other.
When we reach the front of the church, I notice tears beginning to swell up in his eyes.
"You look beautiful," he chokes out, one of the tears escaping.
"Oh babe, don't cry. Be happy!" I whisper, repeating his words from the day we met.
"I am. Finally."
