when?

good friends&bad habits

Warning:this chapter might possibly be triggering so be careful. I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT RIGHT NOW IT IS WEDNESDAY. NO I AM NOT UPDATING LAST MINUTE. You probably thought this would never happen. Ha. ALSO I MADE THE MISTAKE OF LETTING MY FRIENDS PIC THEIR OWN NAMES IN THIS SO ALL OF THE NAMES ARE "UNIQUE" SO YEAH that's all that needs to be said. I hope you like this trash I'm writing~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Math was by far my least favorite class. I didn't know anyone in that class and it was the only class I didn't have an a or a b in. C's were like F's in my mind, but no matter how hard I tried I seemed to always have an "F" in that class. I told myself it was the teachers fault because I honestly had no idea what she was talking about half the time, but really it was my fault because I spent more time fantasizing than listening to what she was saying. One day in math the teacher was changing seats and put me next to a kid name Tony and behind a girl named Effy. I had never talked to Tony before and I had only even come into contact with Effy once, when I was telling her I liked her adventure time leggings. I had always wanted to be friends with her but I didn't think she'd wanna be friends with me. I figured I'd just annoy her if I tried to talk to her so I should just not. After a few days I had failed at my plan not to talk to her. I had several conversations with both Tony and Effy, who both seemed to be very cool people. After a while I began to sit next to Effy in instead of Tony, we always talked about the most random things and I loved it. I don't remember much of it but there's one conversation between Effy and Tony that i never forgot. It was about self harm, Effy told Tony about how she'd been doing it since 3rd grade and it wasn't very bad, that conversation had always stuck in my head, especially with me already considering self harm myself. 

   I woke up to 50+ messages in the kik group chat I was in, with Effy, our friend Jessica, and a few other random people. Our group chats were the best thing ever. I got ready for school pretty slowly because I was replying to them whenever I could. On the bus I put my earbuds in with the volume all the way up so that I could't hear all of the things Jane and Imani were saying about me. I was obsessed with the band  "Brand New" and would basically just listen to them on repeat 24/7. When I got to school I met Effy in the quad are and we talked until the bell rang, I went through my day not paying attention in class and checking my phone whenever I could. At lunch I was now sitting with Effy and Jessica, which I didn't like very much. I could see Jessica replacing Effy and I knew that Effy could see it too. And as much as I loved sitting with Effy, I missed Winter. We were growing apart and I hated it so much. Winter was my first friend when I moved into this state and I never wanted to lose her, but there wasn't much I could do about it. 

   After school I went to the park with Tony and Effy. I brought my iPod and blasted Avril Lavigne's "Here's to Never Growing Up" on repeat. I spent most of the time on the swings, or just walking around in the grass. We played truth or dare and Effy dared Tony to act like a stripper, we played Miley Cyrus for him to strip to, and it was hilarious. I loved my new friends so much, I couldn't ask for anyone better. 

    I came home to my mom yelling at my sister about something stupid, I didn't bother to listen. She was in a bad mood and that was never good, so I called my aunt to ask her I could go to her house, she didn't answer and just before I was about to call her again I got a text from my grandma saying she was in town and asking if I wanted to go to a book store with her. I went outside to wait for her before I even texted back.  At first everything was fine, my grandma and I get along great for the most part, in fact there's only one thing we argue about. 

"you should read this book" she said handing me a book, that was about "finding the right religion for you"  

"I already have a religion, Gran" I replied hoping she would end the conversation there

"atheist is not a religion, and even if it was it's not the right one. Why can't you just be Mormon like the rest of the family?" 

I hated how she did this. I didn't tell her that what she believed was wrong, so why did she do it to me? I kept trying to change the subject but she kept bringing it back to this. 

"I can't believe my own granddaughter would be so ignorant to think-" I cut her off before she could finish

"Ignorant? If anyone's ignorant here it's the person who can't accept that anyone has a different opinion then them" she looked mad when I said this but it needed to be said. 

"you know what, you're not my granddaughter. You're just a selfish bitch, and you can find you're own way home" she said as she walked out of the store. 

Holding back tears I called my mom. I explained to her what happened and she just said "my mom is right, have fun getting home" then hung up. Thankfully the store I was in was only a 10 minute walk from my house. As I walked home in the dark I was sobbing. When I got back to my house I went into my room and grabbed the blade from under my pillow. It had stained blood on it from years ago, but was only put under my pillow this morning. "I can't do this anymore" I whispered to myself, still sobbing, as I slid the blade across my wrist as many times as I could before I started to feel light headed. Then I heard my phone go off and saw a text from my aunt 

Auntie: I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry, if you want to get away from everything you can come stay with me for a while  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well that was emotional :) I'm sorry for my little emo chapter, I promise the story wont have parts like this super often ? I dunno, but it gets better I swear. I'm a dumb person please do not do the things I do, except for the things I do at the end of the story cause they're good. Does anyone else find it weird that my writing sucks in my intro/outro paragraphs but its good everywhere else? Like as soon as I'm not typing a story anymore I just can't type. I dunno but I'll have the next chapter up before this weekend is over. Thank you all so much for the support!! (P.S. It's Thursday and I'm updating, not last minute at all. I'm amazing wow.)