The Hot Girl Called Mommy

Falling pieces (Chapter 22)

Sorry for the late upload!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last week I COULD NOT UPLOAD :( I was not in the house on both days and when I got back I was exhausted. I have to study so much now every week. My uploads will be on weekends from now on (Fridays count). If we're lucky, I might upload during the week (but its not likely). Thanks everyone for reading, voting, commenting, and fanning. I can't thank each and every one of you enough.

Enjoy :)

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"I still don't like that guy," Ryan insisted.

I rolled my eyes. "What do you have against him anyways?"

"You should see the way he looks at you. He's like an animal. Trust me, I would know. He just wants to get into your pants."

My jaw dropped, and I attempted to push him off the edge of the lunch table. Obviously, my plan didn't work. Ryan didn't budge.

"He is not! He's just teaching Liam as a part of his graduation requirements. It works out for both of them."

He scoffed. "You bet it does. Liam gets smarter, this Jacob guy graduates, and Jacob gets into your pants. It works out perfectly doesn't it?"

I huffed. "What is your problem? We have nothing going on between us! Jake is just a friend." It wasn't like my relationship with Jake was any of Ryan's business. One had nothing to do with the other.

He muttered something under his breath.

I scowled. Why did it seem like I was trying to explain this to my boyfriend? Yeah, I like Ryan and Jacob. But I like Ryan more. It's the stupid part of me that can't let him go no matter how rude or obnoxious he is to me. Besides, Ryan may be annoying, but he also has this sweet, caring side. He doesn't show it often, and if he did, I know he'd be a different person. My heart has already fallen for him despite how often I've told myself that Ryan is just the wrong guy to get close to. He's irresistible. Jake is only a friend. Jake was supposed to help me crush Ryan and teach him a lesson, but that's not possible anymore.

I'm in too deep.

Now that I've fallen for him, it's too late. I'm just letting pieces fall where they want now.  The only thing I want is not to be hurt in the process. I'm sick and tired of this back and forth between us. And I'm sick of watching out for Liam and being strong for our family at the same time. I want to care about myself now. I want to be selfish for once. 

I sigh. I can never be selfish. Not when it comes to Liam. I put him first no matter what. As troubling as raising him is at times, it's nowhere near as rewarding to watch him grow up. I want Liam to be raised in an emotionally stable environment. He can't have that if he sees his older sister crying every day over stupid stuff. I want to be supported and loved by someone who's not my family. Someone who's not Liam. Someone who's not Chase.

I want Ryan to love me back.

Is that really so hard? I considered the Friday I kissed Ryan at the carnival. My brother still didn't know. If I could only date Ryan, then everything would be fine. Ryan would care about me, and I know he wouldn't leave me or cheat on me. If he was that jealous over the way Jake was looking at me, then he had to have feelings for me. Didn't he? Was it possible that he liked me just as much as I liked him?

Not that it mattered anyway. Ryan would never be able to ask me out if he liked me. At least, not openly. Chase would never approve. He was so protective now when it came to guys. Usually you couldn't tell because I never hung around the guys, but I noticed the way Chase's muscles tensed when I was too close to one of his friends. I knew.