Caroline
The last couple days with James here have been nice. I've been trying my hardest to be happy and enjoy the time I have with him but my mind keeps going back to Luke. James and I are on our way to the airport, he's got a flight back to Arizona this morning and then I have to rush over to campus and take my last final. I reach down in the console to grab my phone, forgetting that I don't have it. Yesterday morning my head being all over the place I left it on the roof of my car and didn't realize until I heard it smash on the ground as I started driving away.
Stopping and getting a new phone is gonna have to wait until after I go see Luke. I need to tell him I'm sorry for not letting him explain himself and ignoring his calls and texts. I was just so mad and hurt that he'd been there all night with Jen. And then James showed up and I wanted some time with him before dealing with the whole Luke thing. We pull up to the airport and James parks the car.
Getting out I walk over the driver's side, sad that he's leaving. "You sure you don't wanna just stay a few more days?" I ask giving him my best puppy dog eyes.
"Not the eyes, Boyer." He says laughing reaching over and touching my cheek. "I'd stay if I could you know that."
"Yeah I know. I'm just messing with you. It was nice having you around though. I didn't realize how much I missed hanging with you."
"I think about how much I miss you every day." He says quietly, stepping closer to me.
"James." I say looking down, shaking my head.
"I'm not going to no matter how much I want to. You have no idea how hard it's been to not kiss you these past couple days. I miss you. I want you back. I want us back. I'm still in love with you, Caroline. There hasn't been anyone that's made my feelings for you change."
He's looking at me waiting for me to say something but I can't find the words. What do I say to that? I'm with Luke. Yeah we're having problems but I still love him. And I love James too, I'm just not in love with him anymore. At least I don't think I am. He did drop everything and fly out here to be with me. He's always been there, we've never really fought or had any problems until Luke was in the picture.
"I...uh...hmm." I stutter. "James I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that right now. I love you, you know that I do but I..."
"I know." He says still standing close with his hand on my cheek, he moves his finger over my lips cutting me off. "I just needed you to know how I felt. I love you Caroline, we belong together."
James pulls my face up to meet his and places his lips on mine. I close my eyes and let him kiss me, letting our lips move together like they have so many times before. It feels so familiar and safe. For just a second I feel like I'm back home in Seattle sitting on the trunk of his car after a football game, no Nashville, no bars, no fights, no trashy roommates. Just me and James.
I open my eyes and look up at James and into his perfect hazel eyes. My guilt taking over this quiet moment and already starting to set in. We shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have kissed him back. I can see it in his face how much he still loves me. The last thing I want is to lead him on or hurt him again.
"James, I have to go." I say putting my hand on his and pulling it away from where he was still holding my face.
"Ok. Just think about Caroline. Promise me you'll think about it?" He asks quietly.
"I will." I whisper softly looking down afraid of what I might say or feel if I look him in the eyes again.
"I love you." He says kissing my forehead. Before I can say anything he grabs his bag and turns to walk thru the sliding doors of the airport terminal.
