In Love With a 1D Fangirl

Part 4

The sour smell of boiled cabbage hit Colin square in the face like a champion heavyweight, seeking out his nostrils and hammering away the moment he set foot in the kitchen. Steam billowed from a pot and combined with the odor. The overall effect reminded Colin of the boys locker room after gym class. At the stove, responsible for the stench, his mother stirred at the stuff with a large, wooden spoon.

“Is the washing machine broke?” Colin pulled the front of his shirt up over his nose and mouth.

“No. Why?” replied his mother. Her attention remained on the steaming pot.

“Just trying to figure out why you’re boiling dirty socks on the stove.”Though his mom only shot him a look, it carried enough annoyance that Colin still felt the need to duck.

“I’m doing sheets next. I’ve found it’s the only way to get out certain stains.” The knowing tone in her voice stopped him cold. He flushed behind his makeshift ninja mask.

“Okay, okay. Truce.” His mother’s apparent eagerness to play her new favorite trump card bothered him. How long before she forgot about it? He stood silent for a moment trying to decide how to proceed.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“What did... I mean, how... What was your first date with dad?” The words fell awkwardly from his mouth. His cheeks grew warmer and he felt like he had just tossed a heavy rock into a mine field.

His mother stopped stirring and turned around. A grin played on her lips.

“Now there’s an interesting question. Colin, have you found a girl? You have, haven’t you? My little boy is growing up.” She sniffled and faked wiping a tear away from her eye.

“Mom, cut it out. Yes, I’ve got a date, okay?” Colin moved to the kitchen table and pulled up a chair.

“Calm down, I’m only playing. So... what’s she like?”  She resumed stirring.

“Well, she’s a girl. And, she’s... pretty. And, uh, she... she...smells nice. Oh, and she likes music.” It hit Colin like a splash of cold water: he didn’t know a single thing about Zowie other than the fact she was obsessed with One Direction.

His mother stopped stirring again.

“Colin, you are my son and I love you more than you know. And I say this with as much care as I can. Please, whatever you do, do not write her poetry.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you find this so funny.” His foot caught on the chair and it slammed on the hardwood floor as he rose to leave.

“Sit.” It wasn’t request. Colin’s mother turned off the stove and joined him at the kitchen table.

“Honey, you really need to relax a little. But, since this is clearly a touchy subject, I will stop teasing. Now, what’s going on? I’m all ears.”

“Her name’s Zowie. I asked her out and I have no idea what to do. It needs to be something good.” Colin fidgeted with his hands. It irritated him when his mom teased him, but now he just felt awkward. He tried looking anywhere but her face.

“I’m sure whatever you do will be fine. It’s just a high school date. No need to go overboard. Just do something she likes to do and have a good time.” That was easy for her to say. She didn’t have to see Zowie every day in the halls. Perhaps asking his mom was a bad idea.

“I don’t really know what she likes besides One Direction.”

“I’m really hoping that isn’t something sexual. Do you and your father need to have ‘the talk’?”

“What? No! One Direction is a band. Well, group. They don’t really play instruments so calling them a band gives them too much credit.”

“Well, excuse me. Tell me, though, if you know nothing about her, why did you ask her out.?”

Colin blushed and didn’t say anything. His mind raced for an answer, but other than listing physical attributes, he had nothing.

“Ah. I see. Sweety, there are more important things than a pretty smile. It makes things a lot easier. But, you’ll figure that out. Knowing you, it’ll likely be the hard way. Just go to a movie or get something to eat. Now, I need to finish dinner.” She ruffled his hair and kissed him on the cheek before returning to the stove.

Maybe she was right. A simple dinner date could do the trick, but what? The idea flashed in his mind brighter than any streak of lightning. He couldn’t resist laughing out loud. It was so simple!

Taking the stairs two at a time, he bolted up to his room. Not even bothering to shut the door, he went straight to his computer. Come on, Google, don’t let me down. Colin’s fingers tapped furiously at the keys. Letters appeared slower than he typed and the words “One Direction’s favorite foods” appeared on the screen.

76,600 results appeared in a blink. That was easier than it should have been. He clicked the first link.

A simple list with each boys name came up in the middle of the screen, surrounded by advertisements: Niall- Nandos, Harry- sweet corn, Zayn- chicken, Louis- carrots, Liam- chocolate. What the hell are Nandos? He’d have to look it up later. For now, though, the path seemed clear. Almost every restaurant served chicken, and it was impossible to stay in business without having some kind of chocolate dessert. Niall Horan’s personal tastes not included, a One Direction themed dinner date was the perfect solution.