Sanity // s.m. [IN EDITING]

[26]

Shawn

***

The stretched, shiny black limousine with the dark, tinted windows began to slow all at once. I unbuckle my seatbelt and shut my eyes.

I turn to Sarah, who sat in the seat beside me, apprehensive. She gently moved her right palm up and down the bump of her belly, her left limp on her lap.

I scoot closer to her and place my hand on her stomach as well, on top of her knuckle, and with my other hand, unbuckle her seat belt for her. She looks up to see me, eyes watery, benign. Worried.

"It's okay," I whisper softly.

The clash between the car and the people came in one quick moment. Cameras flashed on the other side, and from what I could make out, reporter after reporter shoved and pushed their way through the newly formed throng with their elbows, calling out both of our names.

The vehicle, already moving at an extremely slow pace, halted in one swift motion. We both jolted forward.

"Shit," Sarah cursed under her breath.

"It'll be okay, just smile and wave and get inside," I nod my head slowly, hoisting myself back into the seat.

"That's not what I'm shitting about," she groans. "That damn jerk forward made me pee."

She was definitely showing. Last night, we were laying in bed, still, silent. I thought she was asleep, and she thought I was asleep-- but as we discovered, we were both laying wide eyed, minds racing. I finally turned to her after she tossed uncomfortably a fourth time, and pressed my palm to her forehead to let her know I was there.

"She's moving," Sarah had said, her voice quiet. "It's... weird."

"She is?" I quickly rotated my entire body to face her, my eyes meeting hers as I move my hand from her head to her tummy, sticking out from her blue t-shirt. "Will I be able to feel her?"

I couldn't see her in the dark, but I could feel Sarah's breath against my cheek as she gently rubbed her hands back and forth over her stomach.

"Maybe," she's said, smiling slowly, voice low. "Maybe she knows her Dad's here."

As it turns out, I was unable to feel the movement beneath Sarah's skin. It was only internal-- the baby wasn't kicking, so only Sarah could feel it.

I stayed quiet, and heard her sniffle slightly. I looked up, seeing that her eyes were welling up with tears. She wiped them away quickly, sitting up abruptly in the bed and facing the direction of the bathroom.

".. Sarah?"

"I'm fine, I'm sorry," she sniffled again. "I just really have to pee, and, I'm emotional. I'm sorry."

"No, I get it," I nodded, staring at her and seeing her struggle to stand and uneasily waddle towards the bathroom door. "Do you, like, need help?"

"No," she said over her shoulder, finally reaching the door and trying to twist the nob.

She became frustrated when it didn't budge, courtesy of the baby-proofing plastic knob cover. She kept twisting it, each time with more force than the last-- and just as I was about to jump up and help her, she snapped it off.

Slamming the door behind her, I was once again greeted by silence. After that, I waited a while for her to come out-- but soon drifted off before she did. That's the last thing I remember before the alarm blared on my nightstand a few hours later, and she was beside me, arm draped over my chest.