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“I got nothing, no magic words to stop your leaving, to end this hurt.” I Got Nothing by Darius Rucker
I stand up and keep stepping backwards until I hit the wall. She stares at me, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Ryan…please say something.” She begs. But I don’t. I just stand there glaring at the girl I loved. No words came to mind to describe how I was feeling right now. And I knew that if I did speak, it would just be random screaming at her. Not something I wanted to do.
My mind and heart were fighting at the moment. I was mad at her, definitely. At the same time though…well, I haven’t seen her in over a year. What’s a guy to feel? All I know is that I can’t stand to look at her right now.
She slowly gets out of bed and dresses before packing up some clothes. I watch her every move, trying to speak but failing. Tears streamed down her face making me feel more guilty by the second. It’s not me who should be feeling that way though. She was the one lying this whole time. Not me.
Her eyes locked with mine and she stopped packing. “I didn’t have a choice Ryan. You have to understand that. I would have been sent into foster care and I never would have seen you again. I-I was going to tell you before the wedding, I swear.” She wipes away a couple stray tears and I couldn’t help but think that it should be me wiping those tears away. “you can tell everyone whatever you want. I don’t care at this point.”
I was still pressed against the wall, as far away from her as I could be. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. She zips up her bag and glances down at her hand. The ring.
I watch painfully as she slips it off. The blue and silver shimmer in the moonlight as she sets the ring on our bed. Part of me wanted to pick it up. Pick it up and get down on my knees…do everything right this time. But I couldn’t move. It felt like I was stuck in cement, unable to get out.
The tears started again from her and all I could do was watch. “You know where to find me.” did I? my brain racked for where she would go but all the places seemed too obvious. She wouldn’t just go to Katies or something. She grabs the bag and leaves the room. I slowly follow, minutes behind her. I knew she’d have to grab the keys from the kitchen before leaving for good.
I stand at the top of the stairs, waiting for the front door to close. It was now or never for me to say something. To find those words that would just fix everything. But nothing comes to mind. I can’t keep her from leaving. Not this time, or last. And there’s nothing to cure the pain, to end this silence.
The only sound is of the wheels against the hard wood floor as she heads to the door. It creaks open and she turns around, staring at me. Her eyes are begging me to say something, to make her to stay. The door closes and I just stand there for awhile. When I do move, I slam the door to our room and watch as the ring falls to the ground, making a loud clanking sound. It was about then that I started to flip, throwing items around, glass breaking, shelves falling. I had to let out my anger somehow, and this was it.
I punch the wall just before sliding down it. The tears didn’t take long to start falling, and I let them. How could she do this to me? Lie to me for so long, pretending to be someone she’s not. How?
“Okay, I know you told me not to stop by, but I have to steal him from you Ronni. Just for-” I didn’t hear the front door open, or close. But Blake was standing in the doorway to the bedroom now, staring at the damage. “Holy mother of god.” His eyes travel the room and then finally land on me. “should I leave?” I shake my head no, “do you want to talk about it?” once again I shake my head.
He sighs and sits down opposite of me, leaning his back against the desk. “Well then, I’m going to do what I came here to do.” A smile spreads across his face, “Sarah told me she loves me last night. We were out in the gardens dancing and she just said it. I know I sound like a girl but it was so romantic. The lights were lit and the fountain was going. It was totally a scene out of some sappy movie. But I don’t care, cause she finally said it which means two things: we can finally move on to the next level of our relationship, if you know what I mean. And, well, SHE FREAKING LOVES ME!” he screams the last part and I can’t help but chuckle.
“well I’m happy for you both. But now that you can have sex, no kids yet. Okay? I don’t want to be an uncle for a much longer time.”
Blake stares at me strangely, “so what do you call Sydney and Charlie?”
I slap him, “you know what I mean.”
“yeah, yeah. No kids from me.” There was a short pause before he spoke again, “so where is Veronica? She told me to leave you alone today because she wanted to spend time with you…”
I take a deep breath, hoping I wouldn’t get out of control again. “uh, well, long story short. Sky was pretending to be Veronica and she left this morning.”
“so the two girls you love are the same person?” I nod since his question was technically true, “well aren’t you a lucky bastard.”
“but they aren’t the same person Blake. That’s the problem. Sky was nice…Sky as Veronica was a bitch.”
“she was acting Ryan.”
I glare at him, “was she acting when you two were together?”
Blake moves so that he’s closer to me, “Ryan, focus on this for a second. You have been searching for Sky for over a year now. She’s been right here, with you, the whole time. Yes, she was pretending to be a bitch, but you would have guessed otherwise. If she didn’t act like Veronica, then you wouldn’t believe she was Veronica.”
“It’s just hard, okay? It had to be you, you of all people that she…did whatever with. She couldn’t have chosen someone else.” All I hear from him is a laugh, “what, you think this is funny?”
“Dude, do you hear yourself? Sky chose me because it would piss you off. She knows you, she knows your past. I know you’re smart but in all honesty, you haven’t been too smart through all of this.” He gets up and walks out of the room. Minutes later he returned with a stack of things and dropped right next to me. I look down and see the picture of Sky and I on the top. Blake looks ready to leave, but says one last thing before doing so. “She was right under your nose and yet, you couldn’t see her at all.”
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To Find the Lie, We Must Discard the Truth
Teen FictionSequel to "Blue Sky..." About seven months after Sky leaves, Ryan is set up in another relationship. Though the new girl isn't too far from his first love. Now Ryan is stuck between moving on and never giving up on his past. Which one will he choos...
